the post about people breaking off their engagement made me think...
have you ever been to a wedding and you just know it's all wrong? that it won't last and there will be a lot of heartache?
it feels awful, but I have to say that FH and I have been to 2 where we felt this way, and one marriage has dissolved.
fallwed03
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it really is terrible to think of...but I me and FH went to one not to long ago and felt the same way - they are now in counseling
Nikki10-12-03
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Re: This is terrible, but...
We just went to a wedding and we knew it was not the best for either one of them They both are GREAT people but the husband was cheating on her (she found out) and they got married any way (she said it will make him an honest man) The sad thing is he REALLY is a great guy just not husband material
Jordan
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It's sad...but I've felt that before - and the marriage ended in divorce about 6 months later. I went to one recently and I don't think they're going to last either...it's sad. I wonder why people think that '_______' (insert: marriage, engagement, kids) will change the other person.
jennbaby
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I know someone who I feel their marriage isn't right, yes its sad
starhead
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You know, I'm sure people said that about me and DH, we were engaged, he broke it off and we got back together and got married. We worked through a lot of things and actually feel much stronger as a couple but I'm sure others think I made the wrong decision first by getting back together with him after he broke off the engagement. You really don't know what people's situations are unless you are those people. Just my opinion.
februarybride
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I feel that some people don't take marriage seriously. I know a few girls that are in love with the wedding - the engagement ring, the dress etc and aren't really thinking about the fact that the day after the wedding...real life starts.
karen32
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oh god yes!! my one co-worker - we all knew something was wrong. even the way they communicated with each other - very unhealthy!! they divorced 3 months after the wedding
jenny2penny
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.
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shamma
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There is a girl right here right now at my job planning a wedding, when you hear her talk you wonder why she is even bothering. She told me today that the guy is going to continue living with his mother in NJ and she will continue living in her apt in Manhattan.
Can you tell me if that is not a sign of 2 people that should not get married I don't know what is. I think she is in love with the idea of being married, and she wants to have children and she does not want to have them out of wedlock so I think this guy is just serving a purpose for her.
I told her I think they should consider counseling b/c of all the other issues that she has been telling me about, she said we are not religious I was so shocked at this comment, I said to her, what does being religious have to do with counseling. I know this marriage is going to end up in the tubes but people have to see for themselves.
Some of them see it but are too scared to turn back so they just continue with the whole show.
StayandJohn
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Yes. I have a friend who always wanted to get married and have a baby. She met a guy, not the greatest guy in the world, they were going out 7 months I think and he proposed to her on Christmas of 1999. She planned her wedding for October of 2000, they fought the whole time, couldnt agree on anything. 1 month before the wedding she became pregnant.
After the wedding things got worse. The baby was born in June. A beautiful little girl, the fighting continued. When the baby was 4 months old, they seperated. The husband has a new daughter. Although he loves my friends daughter I'm sure, he does nothing to help my friend. He gives her $100 a month and claims that he has to take care of his new baby.
We all knew this marriage was doomed from the start, but no one wanted to say 'heyyy um ya know this isnt going to work out'
DrmnBlnd
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I was at one about 5 years ago....they always showed the 'happy couple' facade, but you could tell there was a problem. They are the unhappiest couple I have ever seen.
sanmik
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Sad, but yes.
eroxgirl
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FH has a cousin that got married 2 1/2 years ago, and in all that time, she's NEVER lived in the same house w/ her DH- its like they're still dating - he does what he wants to do, she does what she wants to do - SEPARATELY. And then they wonder why they have problems. I feel bad for her, but if your not ready to be husband and wife, don't get married!
xjulietx
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That is my brother's marriage. They dated for 2 months, broke up for a month, got back together and got engaged after 6 months of total dating. They got into a huge fight three weeks before the wedding, then they worked it out, got married in Nov '02 and started to fight again after they returned from the honeymoon. She's wacky and needs to see a therapist but is in denial.
Sad thing is I knew this when I met her, but my opinion was dismissed because I hadn't dated much and didn't know much (or so I was told). Poor bro. He can't even be happy for me and my recent engagement because he is so miserable
cluelessbride
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I think it gets really sad when unhappy couples have children. Until then it's like, well, live and learn. But this could we know is trying to have a baby and we think the wife thinks it will save the rocky marriage. I wish they would go to counseling.
Olgaki
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I agree. Once children get involved, it because much more difficult. Now that baby's life might be upside down forever - especially if the two parents didn't part on the best of terms. It's very hard and it totally stinks because you have to kkeep your mouth SHUT even though you can see things as a third party and they can't see things clearly since they are in the relationship
Stinker
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Worst thing is when you go to a wedding and you pray that YOUR Friend or sibling is not going to make the bride / groom miserable, I loved my one friend but knew how difficult she was - I knew that her FI loved her to death .......but I prayed that she would make life happy for him not sad b'c he was just a great guy. That is soo hard and nerve wracking you want the best for your friends / family but you want them to be there best to people who love them
smooch
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It is terrible, and you wish that you can say, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' but you can't really.
I know a girl who got married two years ago. She and her husband do not belong together. They visit their families all weekend long bc, IMO, they can't spend time alone together. It's like they are afraid or something. I know she is really unhappy with life in general and I think she thought the marriage would take her away from that. Now I think the marriage is an unhappy one, so that just adds another piece of sadness to her life. And what is worse, she hates me for being happy and having the things in life that she wants.
I have another friend who got married almost 5 years ago now. Clearly they were made for each other. I love them dearly. But they got married too young. Had problems, separated before their first anniversary. In fact, on their first, she broke it to him that she was seeing someone new already. (Neither had cheated though - this was after they separated.) VERY HAPPY to say that after they matured and realized how much they mean to each other, they were able to resolve their problems. They just had a baby boy in December and are doing really well!!
NovemberSue
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I think most people know of couples who shouldn't get married but no matter what people tell them,they won't listen anyway. Some people just get married too quick when they haven't had a chance to really get to know each other.Some people just can't get along for a week without having a fight or breaking up.
