This is the hardest post I'll ever have to make.....

But then again this was the hardest decision I ever had to make.

As some of you know I am back in Brooklyn. What most of you don't know is that I am here alone.

After months of stupid arguments on an almost daily basis, Andrew and I have separated. It seems completely surreal, especially since we only celebrated our 1 year anniversary a few weeks ago. But this is something I have been agonizing over for months now, possibly even before the wedding. So this was not a spur of the moment decision. This was also why I was relatively quiet at the last GTG. Because I knew this was coming and didn't know how to say anything about it.

We start counseling next Thursday. Although it kind of ticks me off that it took me moving out for him to finally wake up and realize that we needed to go to counseling. I've been asking him to go since December. We do want to work on our marriage. Whether it can be worked out, only time will tell. But for now I am back living in an apartment in Brooklyn and working in the city. I gave up the life I knew to be with him, I guess it was fitting I gave up the life I knew to be without him.

The prayers that were asked for last week were for me, as some of you might have guessed. Those who know me through MySpace, I am begging not to leave comments about this on there. Some of his family members are on there and he hasn't told them yet.

I don't know if this is a rough patch or the beginning of the end. I've been pretty damn conflicted lately. Between the life I have and the life I could have. In some ways he holds me back. In others he helps me excel. And while I realize I have not been the perfect wife by any means, we all have our limits on how much we can take. And mine were hit the second I decided to move.

I'll try to be on sporadically, at least to keep those who know me best posted on the progress of our sessions. He's now making an effort, which is good, but part of me almost feels like it's too little too late. (Just more proof how conflicted I am)

Thanks to all those who called, FMed, and generally offered their prayers. I sincerely appreciate it and I am still here for all of you should you need anything.