those who are not having children at the wedding

Original post by paintbrush91

Jan 04, 2004 09:34 PM

How did your family react to this? We have made that desion, and I think it has upset some.

Licia Posted: Jan 05, 2004 11:14 AM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

We are not having children at the wedding either execpt for those in the wedding party (our nieces and nephew). I have been to so many weddings where children are just running all over the place throwing tantrums screeming and yelling...No thank you.
It may be insulting but its our wedding and our decision. Plus I have been told by some people that they don't want to bring their childern so that they can have a good time

FeliciaDA Posted: Jan 05, 2004 11:20 AM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

This is turning into an issue for us too ... its especially hard when you are having a few kids (on either side) in your wedding party, but don't want any other children invited .. somehow people take offense at that. I'm finding its hardest to get this point across to any out of town guests who are coming to NY with their kids, but might not realize they aren't going to be able to take them!!

Luckily I don't have TOO many kids to worry about, but even one or two people can make it a difficult situation...

Tough

BlondeJD Posted: Jan 05, 2004 12:14 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

My semi-solution to getting the word out about 'no children.' I'm going to address the invitations ONLY to the people we're inviting, like Mr. and Mrs. X. When they send the reply card back with the # attending, if there's more than 2, it will be time for a polite phone call about the children policy. Depending on whose side of the family it is, I can say that my FI already told his relatives that there won't be any children in the wedding and if my family shows up with kids, it could cause a lot of problems for his family.

dbcrosby Posted: Jan 05, 2004 03:27 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

we arent have any children at the wedding. just immediate cousins. in your family i have been to two weddings where no children were invited and no one made a fuss. just the flower girl and ring bearer attended.

AJsMommy122 Posted: Jan 05, 2004 03:35 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

Not to be mean but I think its horrible to put no kids at the wedding. Its a family celebration and they are family... The weddings I have been to without children are so boring!! Children make the party!! Esp. for those of you who arent having anyone under the age of like 16... thats crazy! how rude!! there practically adults why dont you want them at the wedding? they will dance on the tables?? and for the people who say it is so the adults can enjoy a night without there kids... if thats what they wanted they could take it upon themselves to get a sitter and enjoy the night out.. I would never go to a wedding my son wasnt welcome to...
I think some of you go too far..
just my 2 cents!

kelly6273 Posted: Jan 05, 2004 04:11 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

Stick to your guns.

Your wedding...your day...your decision!

End of story.

kelly6273 Posted: Jan 05, 2004 04:13 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

I wouldn't care if my SIL had the baby Jesus, hes still not invited to my wedding!

bridzilla Posted: Jan 05, 2004 04:17 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

I'm not having kids at the wedding. I know it may upset some people. But children are too young to be hanging out at a formal party until 1 in the morning. Some parents are thrilled to be at an adult party, and not have to worry about screaming kids.
I love children, but there is a time and place for them.

julz33 Posted: Jan 05, 2004 04:19 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

I am having kids from the immediate family ONLY. The extended family is mad about this but Oh Well!!!!

AJsMommy122 Posted: Jan 05, 2004 04:20 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

thats true.. and alot of people think a wedding is definitly a time for them.
the only good reason i can think of someone not having kids is if there family has like 50 kids and they would have to pay full price for all of them.. then thats different.. but somepeople i feel are just being selfish

Moehick Posted: Jan 05, 2004 05:20 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

I know some say it is selfish not to have children there but I have been to far too many weddings were the children have been cranky and yelled their heads off for half the night! Why would you think it is appropraite to have 2 year olds out until midnight or later? Also who wants to pay $70+ per child for them to turn their nose up at the food? I love children but believe me they won't be missed at my wedding.

AJsMommy122 Posted: Jan 05, 2004 05:22 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

Alot of halls also offer childrens menus. and about them being cranky no one said they had to stay till midnight. And besides that I think it should be the parents choice if they want to deal with there children or not.

Moehick Posted: Jan 06, 2004 07:23 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

Why should it be the parents choice? Are they the ones throwing the party? No! Only the bride and groom decide the guest list. Just because people have children does not mean they make the decision as to whether or not their kids are invited somewhere.

lullabella Posted: Jan 06, 2004 07:28 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

I don't understand how people can expect that there children be invited to a wedding. I am not opposed to it at all but it is an additional expense that most B&G's can't afford. The only children I am inviting are those that I am close with. I have a few cousins (7 - 16) that I love and see all the time, so of course I would have them there, but for example my cousin who has 4 kids that I see once a year are not invited. Especially when I have to pay full price for children.

Moehick Posted: Jan 06, 2004 07:33 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

Exactly

mrswask Posted: Jan 06, 2004 07:41 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

The only really little kids we are having are having our FI - niece and nephew who are in wedding party - they will be 3 and 8 at time of wedding - and to be honest, I know they'll prob make fuss - but they are in wedding party.
I have first cousins who are aged 8-17. If they weren't first cousins, I am sure that we would not have invited them - but they are first. I don't understand when people/relatives get so upset when young children aren't invited to a wedding - it's one night, and to be honest - when i have kids - if i am invited to a wedding - i'm sure FI and i will welcome the opportunity to have a night out, to ourselves, without the kids!!

junebride04 Posted: Jan 06, 2004 07:42 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

I am not having children at my wedding, but I don't think it is right to say that I am being selfish. I love kids (i'm a kindergarten teacher) but I honestly feel that a wedding or any other formal affair is not suitable for children (esp. young ones) I have been to many weddings where I have seen the parents just let their kids run wild all over the dance floor and have no control over them. I think that those parents are the ones being selfish! But the bottom line is, it's the Bride and Grooms decision and I don't think its fair to say that they are being selfish because of their decision.

ETA: I didn't answer the original post, but my family is not upset over my decision not to invite children to MY wedding.

wenndypoo Posted: Jan 06, 2004 08:13 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

How can you possibly say that not having children at your wedding is selfish? There are some places that are not appropriate for children, like it or not. I believe a formal evening reception is one of them. Chosing a child-free reception is not a personal attack on the child, nor is it meant to be an insult of any kind.
IMO, people who think they should be able to bring their kids anywhere, anytime, no matter what the situation are the ones who are being selfish and taking things too far.

That said, I am not having children under 5 at my reception. Yes, we got grief from my FSIL from day one because whe is one of those people who has difficulty separating from her child. I told her, 'I'm sorry to hear that. we will miss you'.

It is your decision, stick to your guns.

debbiedee77 Posted: Jan 06, 2004 09:04 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

How about this one, my fiance's sister lives in Chiago, she has a 1 year old who will be about 21 months at the time of the wedding and she is due with her second one in July. She made a comment about bringing them and I'm freaking out. She's the type of person that won't come. My FH's mom is on my side though thank God. She did say that my FH's sister will be breastfeeding and the baby will have to be close. She even offered to have one of her friends stay at the hotel with the baby. I hope this works out. It would be too wierd, it would probably be the first time that the family sees the new baby and I don't want it to be at my wedding, as selfish as that sounds.

Jo Ann Posted: Jan 11, 2004 12:38 PM

Re: those who are not having children at the wedding

My FH has 5 cousins between the age of 2 1/2-12 that 'have to come' to the wedding. I understand that they are traveling from Pa with the kids and they are not going to leave them their over night (god forbid) but I am going to have to pay for them. My hall said as long as I hit my min they are going to be 1/2 price but do I want to spend 250-300 for these kids to eat chicken fingers?? My wedding is going til 12:30am I don't think any of them are going to last that long (I am not sure I am going to last that long). I would like to get a couple of my sisters or fsil's friends to watch the kids at the hotel or even in the bridal suite and get them a TV/VCR combo to watch videos. But I really dont think any one is going to go for this..