those with parents who paid for college (or anything else)

does anyone else carry around guilt that your parents cant reire any time soon because of your college?

my parents NEVER make me feel guilty, but they work so hard and it kills me that they will be working for so much longer. i know we are no where near having it bad, but i hate they have to continue working, mostly bvecause of all that have done for my sis and i.

am i the only person who feels this way?

(emotional today as you can see)

i don't think i feel very guilty because i feel that it was their responsibility to send me to college - maybe it's a cultural thing. i know that as i make more money i will suport them more in the future to return what they did for me when i was younger. think about it that way

i guess you are right. i didnt think of it that way. i just cant wait to be at a point where i can support them in a way. thanks for responding. i appreciate it!

ps...is that you in you avatar? if so, you look beautiful!

i havent gone to college (yet) but when you have children will you send them to college
AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT ????


thats the way I feel about it

its not like you are the only person in the world that parents sent them to college.

My mom and dad are paying for some of my wedding 20 grand plus and I felt bad but my mom said she is honored to do so and one day she will be in diapers and I better be there

My parents paid for 90% of my college (I have one loan that I am paying off) but its acutally funny because my mom and I were talking about this the other night in reference to a friend.

I have to say I would feel bad. The friend has 5 kids and works 2 jobs (as well as her husband) so that the kids didnt have to pay a dime for college. Now her youngest has her BA (I dont know in what) but wants to go back because she wants to be a Nurse instead! So her parents are paying for that.

The reason I say I would feel bad is simply that I know my parents did without ALOT for the 3 of us financially and I know my personality I would feel bad. But both of my parents are now retired and I still worry about them financially.

I honestly dont know if FH and I will ever be in the position to be helping them financially. With the cost of houses and living on LI and the fact that when we have kids we want one of us at home, I dont know if it would be possible.

Dani, I dont feel bad! Our parents do what they can because tehy want to. They are not obligated to this they do it because they want to and they can and if they didnt feel they could have done these things for you and your sister they wouldnt have. I think it would bother your parents more to know that you carry any bit of guilt becuase of this!!

you girls are the best!! i know you are all right and my parents would agree with all of you!

i dont know what it is, i just woke up feeling that way today.

thank you all for responding and explaining it again to me. like i said, ive spoken to my parents about this and they said what you all just said. how this is what theyve always wanted to do. i guess when i have children of my own ill realize it even more.

im feeling better already. thanks girls. many hugs to you!

---

Posted by danigirl0

i guess you are right. i didnt think of it that way. i just cant wait to be at a point where i can support them in a way. thanks for responding. i appreciate it!

ps...is that you in you avatar? if so, you look beautiful!

---

yup its me .. thanks and i'm glad you're feeling a little better!

my parents paid for my entire BS degree. Masters would be on my own, if I ever go back

They never once mad me feel guilty. I did well in school, because they were paying. My mom did help give my FH & I towards wedding too. She has been the greatest!

I never feel guilty...actually I think my mom would have made me feel more guilty if I never went to college...


my parents were very careful planning...and I appreciated it...the only reason that my mom hasn't retired yet...is b/c she loves her job (wish I could say that) and she doesn't want to be home with my dad all day

My parents paid for some of my tuition when I was an undergrad and I paid for law school myself, so I can't relate to having my parents pay for all (or even most) of my education.

But I don't think that any of you should feel guilty. Your parents are only obligated to support you until you reach the age of majority. The fact that they were able to go above and beyond, and did, is a testament to how much they love you and I am sure they would not want you to feel guilty in any way.

Besides, people continue to work for a lot of reasons these days. With the cost of retirement ever increasing and the pensions invested in the market the way that they are a lot of people in our parents age group are having to work longer to have enough to retire or to make up for some of what they lost when the market tanked.

I think you should all be happy that you had parents who were able to send you to college. Believe me, those school loan repayments are killer.

well said becky


i feel good that im paying for my grad work. i know that my parents are so far from being in a bad position. i think i am overly sensitive and emotional with the wedding coming up (which they are also helping for) my parents are so great to me and my sister...so i guess i just wish i could repay them in another way than love!! and i know thats all they care about!!

its good to hear what you all have to say. my parents always tell me that ill understand when i have my kids. that their dream was to send us to college and all that. and hearing it from you girls lets me know that most of us are in the same position.

so thank you all again!!!

I was fortunate to have AMAZING parents who want me to be happy and land on my feet. They paid for both college and Law school (father is an attorney and STRONGLY encouraged me to go)

I look at it this way - I was brought up learning that you do everything you can afford to do for your children to give them the best life that you can and to help them start out in the best way that they can

I DO plan someday to return the favor IF they should ever need it - but I think they they will not need me for anything other than support.

I wil do the same for my children if it is financially possible - if not I will give them as MUCH as I can.

I have many friends who abuse this priviledge by taking advantage of their families generousity and SOME who even feel that there is nothing wrong with living off mommy and daddy forever. TO me this is selfish

I also have friends who parents could only afford to help them in small ways - and they were thankful for the help they received.

My feeling is DON'T feel guilty - you should feel LUCKY that you have special parents who want to do what they can for you - and you never know down the road you might be able to return the favor in some small way!

I do not feel guilty, they always said that they would pay for my college, I had to buy everything else. I even had to pay for my Masters, which cost me more then my college cost them, because of financial aid, and my brother was going at the same time.

My parenst planned accordingly so that my education came first.