Thoughts on favors. *with update*

FH and I can't seem to agree on what to do for favors.

I want to do a donation favor to KIVA. It's not a one time donation, it gets reinvested indefinitely and can end up helping thousands of families over a life-time.

FH wants to do damask candles .

FH's argument is that if we do a donation, people might get offended and feel like they are getting gypped. My mom agrees with FH and says that people want a memento, something that they can take home to remember our wedding. FH says that people would be talking smack about us for years if we do this.

My argument is that our tables are going to look extremely cluttered and busy. We are already going to have about 14 candles per table as it is plus we are going to put
these in every spot. People would probably take those as the favors. I feel that it's better to spend that money and help 10 families grow their businesses in a developing country instead of spending it on something that a lot of people might just throw in the trash after the wedding. FMIL agrees with me.

I suggested just doing the donation and not mentioning it, but FH says we could just do that after the wedding.

I'm at a loss.


UPDATE:

Thanks for the thoughts girls! We came up with a compromise.

We will be doing a donation after the wedding using part of the money that we get from gifts. That way there is no way to risk offending anyone.

We will be doing bamboo favors!!! I LOVE this idea!
The bamboo forest in setauket is where we fell in love and this was one of our original ideas. We'll be adding damask ribbon to tie it into our theme. Plus, I feel that it's not really something that just gets tossed aside and it could last forever! I'm so excited!!! FH is too! lol

I'm doing a donation - i don't feel like people will miss a favor. 9 times of out 10, the favor gets thrown in a drawer and is never seen again anyhow so it's a waste.

HOWEVER, if your FH is so anti-donation, maybe you can make a donation AND give people something small as well? If you already have candles on the tables, you can have an edible favor along with it, perhaps?

Split it...
Get smaller (less expensive) favors and do the donation as well. Perhaps incorporate the card they get that says the donation was made into the favor.
HTH

I haven't felt gypped either, especially when the foundation is something special to the couple (one wedding, the groom was epileptic and had brain surgery the year before, so their donation was a group related to epilepsy research...how can you argue with that?)

Here's a compromise - do the donation, but then chose a smaller, much cheaper candle and decorate it with a tag that says something like 'In lieu of favors, a donation has been made to KIVA - a shining light of hope to the poor of the world. See their work at kiva.org'

You can have them in baskets for people to take on their way out. The staff at your hall will probably be able to help you with this.

i'm not sure how many you need to get. But it you're getting a lot, i found these for a little less than the link you posted.

Then maybe you could do both a candle and a favor. and add a note about your donation to the candle?

edit cuz i can't type...

I say do both...do the donation but on the card or paper that you use to inform all guests that the donation was made, you should attach something that may tie into KIVA.,.something less expensive to save money.
Many people do appreciate the donations and some don't want a useless favor but deep down they are giving you (hopefully) a decent amount of $$ as a gift so they should walk out with something tangible....

Could you try and find similiar candles...for a little less money and then you can do a donation as well?

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Posted by SummerBride10

Could you try and find similiar candles...for a little less money and then you can do a donation as well?

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ITA


we went to a wedding once and they gave a donation and then had a few lindt tuffles in a little box at each placesetting

i never get a favor that im excited abt or need! So i say go with your donation - especially if it means that much to you

we are doing an edible favor - cupcakes...