Thoughts on Phrasing.....

Fh and I are not having children at our wedding other than those in the BP (all are over 7 yrs old and arent babies).

We have many friends with kids, and a few of his friends wives are pregnant right now and will have a newborn by the time our wedding arrives.

I already want 'formal reception to follow ceremony' on the invite, but was considering 'Adult only formal reception to follow' instead.

I told FMIL, FFIL, and the grandma's last night to get their opinion and all said no, it was tacky. Tacky? Really? I like them and respect their opinion and was not expecting them to dislike that phrase so much.

Thoughts? What would you put? I have made it clear to my friends that their kids are not invited, but he has not yet. I know it's an awkward convo for guys with their guy friends which is why I wanted it on the invite. What will be more awkward is one of them showing up with a newborn and it crying during my gorgeous waterfront ceremony. lol


Any input is helpful!

I dont think it's tacky. How about you just put 'Adult Reception to follow' and leave out the Only part. I'm sure ppl will get it when they see Adult. I've seen this on other invites.

I initially wanted the word 'formal' bc it's a Sunday and we have a bunch of OOT guests. You never know if they are going to come in some ridiculous casual bbq outfit, ya know?

I guess I may bring it up again with the in-laws before I stick it on the invite, since they clearly were not thrilled with the phrase.

Of course, right after FMIL said 'tacky' she goes 'well you arent tacky at all, but i dont like the phrase' etc.

I have the same thing- no children are allowed- I think I'm gonig to write 'Adult Reception To Follow'

FH's family already knows about it so they've started making arrangements for babysitters, etc.

in my fam, if I tell one person, the whole family knows within a month- so it may not be a bad idea to give some of the people with kids a heads up

I don't like how 'adult only' sounds. Reminds me of a tree house sign, haha like adults only no kids allowed.

Most people in NY have the sense not to bring a newborn, but if its OOT guests you're worried about maybe something like 'Formal adult reception to follow'

First, not tacky.. I think if you don't write something you will end up with crying babies screaming during your first dance!

As for the phrasing, how about 'Formal adult reception' I feel like it sounds a bit better than 'adult only'. Also, to make sure you get the message across, you can enclose some local babysitter information, lol.

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Posted by Jill52787

I don't like how 'adult only' sounds. Reminds me of a tree house sign, haha like adults only no kids allowed.

Most people in NY have the sense not to bring a newborn, but if its OOT guests you're worried about maybe something like 'Formal adult reception to follow'

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This exactly, you said it better than me! lol

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Posted by Jill52787

I don't like how 'adult only' sounds. Reminds me of a tree house sign, haha like adults only no kids allowed.

Most people in NY have the sense not to bring a newborn, but if its OOT guests you're worried about maybe something like 'Formal adult reception to follow'

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You really think they have the sense not to bring the baby? My concern is if they are breastfeeding and to them they wont leave the baby with anyone for a few hours. Most of the people we are worried about are in our age range, so YES I would hope they know better but you just never can ASSume. lol

I'm not having kids there, but we are only writing formal reception to follow --- the envelopes are labels Mr&Mrs so it should be obvious that kids are not invited. If theres any question then I'm casually mentioning to people that there are no kids invited since the list is tight and I dont want them running around or crying

My FMIL emailed her family ahead of time to let them know not to expect kids to be invited for engagement party since they are not going to be invited to the weddingbecause she wasn't sure what they would think.

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Posted by chliekm

I'm not having kids there, but we are only writing formal reception to follow --- the envelopes are labels Mr&Mrs so it should be obvious that kids are not invited. If theres any question then I'm casually mentioning to people that there are no kids invited since the list is tight and I dont want them running around or crying

My FMIL emailed her family ahead of time to let them know not to expect kids to be invited for engagement party since they are not going to be invited to the weddingbecause she wasn't sure what they would think.

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I agree the envelopes are listed 'Mr and Mrs' but if you read the 2011 board, you will see MANY cases of people RSVPing for more than just who was on the front of the envelope. Just worries me!!

I think addressing the invites with only who is invited is one step to take.

I like 'formal reception to follow.'

Also, if you are really concerned about having kids there or possibly some of your guests not showing up since they might need to nurse or whatever the reason, maybe you could look into hiring a babysitter or two and have them at the reception site (I think downstairs maybe there is a room or something or you could call and ask) and include something that has the babysitting option with your invites and then have your guests rsvp if they need this option.

If you don't want to offer babysitting (which is definitely NOT required), I would just try to spread the word around or maybe email some of FH's friends so they know!

Good luck!!!!

so are you going to fill in their seat number on the RSVP card before mailing it?

And as for the babysitter, I wont even offer that bc then my friends will ALL want to bring their kids. Its too slippery of a slope, but I do appreciate the ideas.

this literally gives me such anxiety...we want adults only as well. I love kids, don't get me wrong but I'd like 6 hours with out them on y wedding night.
Between FH and I our first cousin's probably have 20 kids under the age of 10. All of my OOT cousin's have kids which I'm sure they'll be traveling to NY with so I'm going to try and provide a babysitter at the hotel or just discuss it with them beforehand.
I'm not sure about the 'adult reception', we'll probably put formal reception and I know for sure we'll just put the parents names on the invites. I may sound like a complete snob right now but I don't feel like it's a lot to ask for the parents to arrange a babysitter for that night???! I would never expect to bring my (non existent) kids to a wedding. Personally I'd rather have the night to party with my hubby. I'm just scared we're going to have an issue with someone and I really don't want to deal with it. We'll also be hosting a brunch the next day most likely back at the RH and OOT kiddies will be invited.

So in the end, my advice to you is I think it's perfectly fine to put the adult reception to follow if that's cool with you...if not get ready to have some conversations with people to lay the law down lol

edited for spelling.

I am glad I am not alone in thinking I need to write something on the invite! It's not that there are a ton of kids I am worried about, but there are enough and most are either newborn or under 2. No way are they coming.

Anyway, I am going to force FH to have the uncomfy convo with his friends sooner than later. I already laid out the law w my friends and they understand.

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Posted by Jill52787

I don't like how 'adult only' sounds. Reminds me of a tree house sign, haha like adults only no kids allowed.

Most people in NY have the sense not to bring a newborn, but if its OOT guests you're worried about maybe something like 'Formal adult reception to follow'

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Crashing! People in NY do not have the sense not to bring a newborn! When mom's breastfead they can get wuerd about leaving the baby. At a friends wedding a girl brought he'd newborn and then proceeded to breast feed at the table! !!!!

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Posted by CaughtMyFish

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Posted by Jill52787

I don't like how 'adult only' sounds. Reminds me of a tree house sign, haha like adults only no kids allowed.

Most people in NY have the sense not to bring a newborn, but if its OOT guests you're worried about maybe something like 'Formal adult reception to follow'

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You really think they have the sense not to bring the baby? My concern is if they are breastfeeding and to them they wont leave the baby with anyone for a few hours. Most of the people we are worried about are in our age range, so YES I would hope they know better but you just never can ASSume. lol

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Well if they're pregnant now, the baby will be old enough to be away for a few hours, and yeah I think MOST (not all) have the sense to not bring a baby. My friend is pregnant now and one of the guys asked if she was gonna bring the baby to our wedding and she said 'H e l l no! I want to drink' LOL