So after the post about specifying what people could wear to one brides wedding..I started thinking
I really don't care what anyone wears...so long as someone does not show up in MY dress
But as I was reading the thread...I read how some people said they would like to have their guests dress nicer. I completely understand this. As my wedding is on Labor day I want to make sure people don't go to casual.
So, after much surfing during class...I found things I would like to put at the bottom left of the invitation. I don't want to seem pushy nor rude so please give me your opinions:
Black Tie Preferred(I like this one)
or
Black Tie Optional
(the thing with optional is once they see that, they usually will get a little dressier because they know others will be)
Thoughts?
NinaChris07
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I have seen that on invitations...
Do you want people to wear tuxedos? (just curious as to how formal you want it to be) because black tie is gowns and tuxes
MattandTricia07
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My FH's cousin wrote something like 'adult formal reception to follow'. She wanted to make it clear no kids and that guests should dress appropriately.
nposa07
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I have seen Black Tie Optional numerous times and have never been offended or did I think it came across rude....honestly, I think what you said says it all....they will dress nicer than if it were casual but I don't think it's offensive at all. HTH Nina!
MrsC2be
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My friend is getting married this august in the evening, and has Black tie optional on her invite. I think its perfectly okay, because while i would never tell ppl to 'not wear black', i dont want anyone showing up looking as if theyre going to a 'dressy' bbq. I am considering putting something on my invite, since summer day connotes something more casual than an evening, but i still want everyone to dress nicely...
NinaChris07
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Posted by nposa07
I have seen Black Tie Optional numerous times and have never been offended or did I think it came across rude....honestly, I think what you said says it all....they will dress nicer than if it were casual but I don't think it's offensive at all. HTH Nina!
I agree I would put 'Black tie optional' over the 'black tie preferred'
Just because I personally would not want people to think I prefer that they go out and buy a tux, but I still want them to come dressy (bc that's something thats important to me as well)
Nina
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Okay good....And Nina you make a good point.
I don't want to mandate tuxes...but suit and tie would be nice. But whatever...I just want the people I love to bear there...even if they show up in jeans...I might cringe but oh well.
I guess I just want them to know..because it is Labor day, that I still want it dressy. So maybe black tie optional is better?
And I agree with you...I would never tell someone that can't wear a certain color. Because 10 times out of 10 no one will notice anyways.
Nina
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Posted by NinaChris07
Posted by nposa07
I have seen Black Tie Optional numerous times and have never been offended or did I think it came across rude....honestly, I think what you said says it all....they will dress nicer than if it were casual but I don't think it's offensive at all. HTH Nina!
I agree I would put 'Black tie optional' over the 'black tie preferred'
Just because I personally would not want people to think I prefer that they go out and buy a tux, but I still want them to come dressy (bc that's something thats important to me as well)
Word. Thanks ladies for the etiquette lesson. You guys rock
NinaChris07
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I know how you feel.... I thought about that last time I went to a wedding and I feel like weddings are the most formal and dressy occassions and even that has been lost. (in that people dress so casual!)
Maybe also put semi-formal... thats another idea
BUT people might not know what that means because technically that does mean suits and dresses but then some people might be like oo thats not formal!
Athee07
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Posted by nposa07
I have seen Black Tie Optional numerous times and have never been offended or did I think it came across rude....honestly, I think what you said says it all....they will dress nicer than if it were casual but I don't think it's offensive at all. HTH Nina!
I totally agree
Soon2BeMrs2006
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I'd go with Black Tie Optional.
StreetDoc6531
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I like the Black Tie Optional myself. I went to wedding where half of the guests wore jeans and the other half looked like they dressed for the senior prom!!! I swear it!!!
bride2b24
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i dont think anyone will show up in jeans !!!! lol......but on another note black tie optional adds a nice touch! but when i see black tie...i think tux.......
sarahthegreat
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imo - we personally wouldnot put either black tie or bt optional on our invite.
BUT - i have seen it and it is completely acceptable as far as etiquette goes.
afrodyt2000
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I like black tie preferred or black tie optional. I wouldn't be upset and I'd definitely know your wedding is formal if I saw that on the invites.
JazzyT
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Posted by MattandTricia07
My FH's cousin wrote something like 'adult formal reception to follow'. She wanted to make it clear no kids and that guests should dress appropriately.
I like that one was thinking about something like that
SeptBride70
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yes i agree with black tie optional b/c i think that will put it into people's minds that they should 'spiff it up' a bit that way you will get some who wear the tuxes and gowns (great!!) and the others-- a really NICE suit or dress... perfect!!
at least you are not putting required LOL
Lola0703
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I would never be offended by 'Black Tie Optional'. Almost every wedding I have been to has been 'Black Tie Optional'.
Vicky423
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Black tie optional sounds good to me.
engaged&excited
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I never like the way either one sounds personally. I just kind of feel like it sounds a little snobby. I dont mean any offense, it just seems like people spend so much money to attend a wedding and then they have to go out and get a tux....it just doesnt seem right to me. I would guess that the majority of your guests are close to you and would know how to dress appropriately to a wedding (in suits and nice dresses). Just my opinion--Ive certainly gotten invitations that say both--But if you really are worried about it, I would say that Black Tie Optional is less offensive to me than Preferred.
