I've been posting sporadically for the last few months, but mostly lurking for the most part! You all have been so helpful and I've gotten amazing ideas from this forum! For all those who don't recognize my username -- I'm a Riviera (Massapequa) bride -- originally from Massapequa, now live in Rego Park, Queens. Our wedding date is Thursday, May 26th, 2011....and that's where my problem lies!
Soo..my FH and I are having a pretty small wedding (about 80-90 people). When we started looking at RH's, it was impossible to meet minimums, so some suggested a Thursday date for us. When my FH and I were weighing the pros and cons to a Thursday wedding, we decided resoundingly that a Thursday would actually work out for us. We realized that about 70 percent of our guest lists are non 9-5ers (doctors, business owners, hotel staff, retail managers, mechanics, etc). And we figured our 9-5ers could just take a half day on the Fri if they had work at all...
Anyhoo -- people are starting to complain -- and it's people close to me that I REALLY wish would just let loose and have fun!! All of my teacher friends are like 'I have work in the morning, so I won't be drinking' () and then people from distances are complaining that it makes them take off a day of work... and they're not sure if they can do it.
I don't mean to rattle on and on, but the problem is that the people who are complaining are actually some of the most important people in the equation...and I can't imagine my wedding without some of them there (fully tipsy ;) LOL!)
I thought about changing my date and called a few vendors to test the waters...and some are available some aren't...and I can't imagine dealing w/ that headache right now. Plus, I got such great deals b/c of my Thursday date, that I can't imagine that any of them would be honored on a Friday or Saturday. I prob couldn't even afford any of it.
Do you think I should include a little blurb about how much it would 'mean to us if they could make it' on our wedding website or something? I just can't repeat myself to everyone who's like 'it's a THURSDAY?!' anymore
cberry109
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
Don't worry about it! My opinion....they will be there for you no matter what and boo hoo if they don't drink or have to take the day off...thats their choice, not yours. It's not like you are doing it on purpose to them. I had a Sunday night wedding and some people were complaining that they have work on Monday and that the kids have school so they cant stay late because of the babysitter and blah blah blah...well come my wedding day EVERYONE stayed til the end (11:30pm) AND had a GREAT TIME!!!! (proof is on the video)....Do what YOU WANT!! It is YOUR day and trust me you cant please everyone!
Good luck and have a great time at your wedding because everyone else will be too!!!
pjc92980
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
aww thats a tough situation. did you consider switching it to that Sunday? I believe that is memorial day weekend...so people will have off on Monday and youll get the less expensive Sunday pricing. May be a win win situation for you.
If that is not possible than including a personalized note it nice. i would say though make sure each of them are personalized and try to mention someone specific about your friendship and relationship in each note...this way they feel like it is heartfelt and not just a generic message you included with everyone (example: 'dear XXX, weve been friends since XXX and have been through so many things. i cant not imagine my special day without you by my side').
I see both sides...FH and i were invited to a fri afternoon wedding at westpoint which meant we needed to take the day off of work and the week that it was made it just not feasible for us...we had to be in work so we had to miss it. even if a personalized note was included some people have such strict jobs they have no choice. and i think teachers (NYC teachers) have some rule about not taking a day off or calling in sick before a holiday or something like that. but if its at night people should still come and just leave a little early if necessary. in the end its your day and people that really matter will make an effort...who cares if they dont drink or leave 20mins early
HSsweethearts
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
It definitely can't hurt to put something about how much it would mean for people to come on the website. We've gotten a little but of guff about our wedding date - a Sunday night- Father's day, and on our website we explained why we chose the date, which I would have done anyway because it's a special date to us.
Unles you really want to spend more money and change the date I think the best thing for you to do would be to just let it go. There will always be people who can't make a wedding. You may find more people make it and stay to the end than you think because the day before a holidya weekend is usually a quiet work day for most people (it might also be a hard day to get off, so give a lot of notice). Because my wedding is a Sunday night, we're not going to a viennese because we think many people will leave early, but there will still be plenty of people who will drink their fill and stay to the very last dance!
yoginiinluv2011
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I am doing a Thursday night wedding too for similar reasons. I am doing June 30th, which is fourth of july weekend. I believe your wedding is the weekend of Memorial day. So far none of my close friends or family have complained about it and most people told us they thought it was a great way to kick off the holiday weekend. A select few made complaints, but I realized that I can't please everyone. Your wedding is one of the few times in life that you have to put your own needs first. The people who matter most won't mind. In the end, a Thursday night really is no different from a Sunday night wedding and people don't seem to complain about them. Most people take extended weekends on holiday weekends anyway. I made sure that i wrote in my save the date that it was fourth of July weekend so people would realize that. In the end, I am glad I chose the Thursday. I have had my choice in vendors and it is easier to negotiate prices for a Thursday night. Good luck. Keep us posted
FutureMrsG
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
DO what is best for you and your DH. You are giving your guests plenty of notice- If they want to be there they will.
Bree71584
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
i think you'll still have alot of yes's. i was in a wedding that was on an akward date (the monday night of memorial weekend) and to make matters worse it was outta state, the groom is from RI and the bride from NY and the wedding was in MA so basically every guest needed to do some traveling. i'll be honest with you it was annoying but at the same time i really love the couple so i just ****** it up. plus i can only speak for myself but if i have to take a day off from work i'd much perfer it to be due to partying my a$$ off at a wedding and drinking and dancing all night, than because i was actually sick
HoosierCouple
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I am having a party on a friday night and people are still being annoying about it bc they have work till 5 etc etc and have to go striaght from work.
I started to nicely say that i cant afford a sat night and if i was to have a sat night that would mean i would only be able to invite 1/2 of the invite list (aka maybe not you or not your family, etc etc). I say this in a nice way.
I think people just like to complain. i have heard complaints about sun as well bc work is the next day.... aka people are going to be annoying no matter what!
hth!
midnight26
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I understand the complaints from people, I mean teacher's have to be in at like 720 am and cant take off before a holiday, but hey, it's only one night. they can deal with it, and recuperate over the holiday weekend!!!
AudioLoveStory
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
We are getting married on a Thursday (Cinco de Mayo!) and have not heard a single complaint yet.
2010BTB
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
What about a Thursday night in October or November where schools have off the next day? Some people will automatically have the day off from work and some others can always take off and most likely won't be a busy day at work.
WeezyGirl2354
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
First - great day to get married b/c its my b-day Second - Great place to get married since I'm a Riviera bride too
I can tell you the Sunday there is already booked b/c that was the day I originally wanted
I am pretty Saturday, the 28th, during the day is open - maybe have a day wedding on the weekend? I am sure that would save you a lot of cash too - maybe strike a deal with the Riviera and see if you can get the same rate for your Thursday on that Saturday.
Honestly though, like a lot of the other brides said - people will be there. Yea, they might bi*tch and complain but the most important people will pull through. You and FH have to be happy w/ your decision and comfortable with it - financially speaking on top of everything else. If you are forking up the cash and a Thursday is what you can afford, then so be it.
It's a day for you and FH - dont let other people control it
spdy540
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
plenty of people are opting for thursday and even wednesday weddings. everyone is going to complain about something. If thursday is a problem for them dont let it ruin your day,
FutureWifey
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I wouldn't change the date. I have a Thursday wedding and at first people were asking questions. In particular, FMIL asked me why a Thursday and I quickly replied 'you want a big wedding and this is what we can afford.' She knows I have a VERY small family..
If you REALLY feel uncomfortable... don't change the venue or the day of the week. The ONLY thing I would even slightly suggest changing is the month. July/August teachers are off.
Honestly.. I would rather you not make any changes though. People should stop complaining. They should be HAPPY and honored you are inviting them.
HoosierCouple
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
Posted by FutureWifey
I wouldn't change the date. I have a Thursday wedding and at first people were asking questions. In particular, FMIL asked me why a Thursday and I quickly replied 'you want a big wedding and this is what we can afford.'
I am glad i am not the only one using this argument :) it works!
Moonmist09
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
your never going to be able to please everyone and you have to do what is best for you and FH. If you chose that date, in part, because it made sense financially to do so, then stick with it. If you feel like you should put a note on your wedding wesbite, than do so, but honestly, it is no one business why you chose that date. If they want to be there for you, they will be. who cares if they can't get drunk? do you need to be inebriated to have a great time? no. you have to go to work the next day? not my problem, people stay out late all the time doing their own thing, even just staying up watching tv and not getting enough sleep but as soon as they hear it a wedding they forget that they would normally stay up that late anyway on a weeknight. i hate complainers and iw ould NOT listen to them. I am getting married on a Sunday evening and my party won't end till 1am. I don't care if its just me and FH at the end becaue everyone else left, its my day and i will make the most of it and so should you
JC297
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
A friend of mine got married on a thursday...she had a great turnout. The people that want to be there will.
We lucked out and didnt have too much trouble finding a venue for our small wedding. We were able to get married at the Swan Club on Saturday night with a min of 75
Watermelon5
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
Don't let ppl stress you out. They have plenty of notice and honestly, who is in bed by 10pm anyway!? They can suck it up for one evening and go to work on a friday a little tired if it means being their for a close family member or friend. I wouldn't change the date especially since you already booked things and got good deals; some mentioned booking on sunday instead but every RH that I visited told me sunday holidays were treated as saturdays so I highly doubt the deals would be the same as your current date. The important people will be there I'm sure! Some ppl have serious b*alls! lol Don't let them ruin your day or stress you out unnecessarily! HTH!
kfizz
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
in my opinion the people who really want to be there can figure out a way to be there and not complain. You are giving them plenty of notice so they can talk to their job and find coverage.
christine825
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I am having a Thursday night wedding due to minimum requirements as well. Our date does fall on the Thursday before Veterans Day, which may be something to consider but in all honesty like the other girls have said, your family and those most important to you will be there to support you no matter what. I'm sorry you have to hear so much grief about it but too bad. If they were paying for the wedding then they could choose whatever night they wanted, but their not and this is your and FH's decision and they will deal with it if they love you! Good Luck... and everything will work out!
