I've been posting sporadically for the last few months, but mostly lurking for the most part! You all have been so helpful and I've gotten amazing ideas from this forum! For all those who don't recognize my username -- I'm a Riviera (Massapequa) bride -- originally from Massapequa, now live in Rego Park, Queens. Our wedding date is Thursday, May 26th, 2011....and that's where my problem lies!
Soo..my FH and I are having a pretty small wedding (about 80-90 people). When we started looking at RH's, it was impossible to meet minimums, so some suggested a Thursday date for us. When my FH and I were weighing the pros and cons to a Thursday wedding, we decided resoundingly that a Thursday would actually work out for us. We realized that about 70 percent of our guest lists are non 9-5ers (doctors, business owners, hotel staff, retail managers, mechanics, etc). And we figured our 9-5ers could just take a half day on the Fri if they had work at all...
Anyhoo -- people are starting to complain -- and it's people close to me that I REALLY wish would just let loose and have fun!! All of my teacher friends are like 'I have work in the morning, so I won't be drinking' () and then people from distances are complaining that it makes them take off a day of work... and they're not sure if they can do it.
I don't mean to rattle on and on, but the problem is that the people who are complaining are actually some of the most important people in the equation...and I can't imagine my wedding without some of them there (fully tipsy ;) LOL!)
I thought about changing my date and called a few vendors to test the waters...and some are available some aren't...and I can't imagine dealing w/ that headache right now. Plus, I got such great deals b/c of my Thursday date, that I can't imagine that any of them would be honored on a Friday or Saturday. I prob couldn't even afford any of it.
Do you think I should include a little blurb about how much it would 'mean to us if they could make it' on our wedding website or something? I just can't repeat myself to everyone who's like 'it's a THURSDAY?!' anymore
MarryingMyBFF1110
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Member since
Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I'm having a thursday night wedding (it's the thursday before vet's day). I haven't heard complaints, but I'm expecting them. I just sent out STD's, to let people know. I'm okay if some can't make it or leave early (it ends at 1 am), but I know those who really wanna be there, will. You CANNOT please everyone. We're doing this bc it's budget friendly, and we do happen to have the next day off. However, I have gone to a Thursday night wedding where I did not have the day off Friday. It was no biggie. You can't let people dictate your wedding.
Selleybelly
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
Thanks for all the reassurance ladies!! I keep trying to remind myself to not stress so much, but I keep getting caught up on the blank stares I get LOL! When people ask what my wedding date is, I would love to just say it and not have to give a long explanation to defend it -- such is life though!! :)
You're all completely right! Once people get there, I'm pretty sure they'll just relax and enjoy and hopefully stay for the whole night. I guess there's always the 'leave right after cake cutting' crowd no matter what the day is!
I think I'm going to do as pjc92980 suggested. I'll include a little note in some of the most important invites to make sure they know how much it would mean to us, and that we understand the sacrifice they'd be making, etc. For everyone, I'll include a blurb on our website.
Thanks again ladies -- this is why I love LIW!
Im getting Married
Posted:
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I would just add to the website (Wedding, Thursday, XX-XX-XX) just because sometimes people don't look at the calendar and it gives them more of a heads up
Selleybelly
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
Posted by Im getting Married
I would just add to the website (Wedding, Thursday, XX-XX-XX) just because sometimes people don't look at the calendar and it gives them more of a heads up
Thanks -- will do! I put it on my STD's, but it didn't click with a bunch of people until about a month ago! LOL -- I'll update my website now <3
fdnybride163
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Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
Posted by HoosierCouple
I am having a party on a friday night and people are still being annoying about it bc they have work till 5 etc etc and have to go striaght from work.
I started to nicely say that i cant afford a sat night and if i was to have a sat night that would mean i would only be able to invite 1/2 of the invite list (aka maybe not you or not your family, etc etc). I say this in a nice way.
I think people just like to complain. i have heard complaints about sun as well bc work is the next day.... aka people are going to be annoying no matter what!
hth!
well said!
I have to do a friday, cause basically, I cant afford saturday! and we have a ton of OOT family and guests, and you know what? they are just going to have to either miss out on the wedding of the century ( ) or suck it up, take a day off work and enjoy the long weekend on long island!
people complain no matter what we do so eff it, do what you want and what you can afford, and they will be sorry.
P.s. Ive never known people to not want an excuse to take off of work ! so maybe they are just downplaying until it gets close.
ourwedding9510
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Member since
Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
No matter what you do someone will complain. I got married Sunday night of Labor Day weekend. I got complaints that it was expensive to travel, I got complaints from my NYPD friends including my BIL who didn't know until the week of the wedding if he would be there, I got complaints from my sister bc apparently all doctors want to take off that weekend, people will complain. Do what makes you and FH happy and no one else! I tried to accommodate everyone at our wedding and things ended up ways I didn't want to make other people happy. DON'T DO THAT!
soontobecruz
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Member since
Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I understand why you are having athursday wedding and if that's what you can afford then thats what you can afford. However did you consider a day wedding on a Sat or Sunday? Even a day wedding on a Sunday people still have some recoup time before going back to work.
Also, I would not include how much it would mean to you. In my opinion it's laying a little bit of a guilt trip. I agree that the people closest to you and most important will make the effort to be there but to guilt them into coming might leave a bad taste in their mouth. It would leave one in mine.
That being said, if those closest to me were not going to be able to come and/or have fun. I would change it. I've been to wedding where it seems everyone is staring at their watch for the time to leave and I wouldn't have wanted that at my wedding, in my pictures, or on my video... just some food for thought
thefloreswedding
Posted:
Member since
Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I agree...
If they want you to change the date and make you pay more money, then tell them to pay for your wedding! LOL
Anyway, your wedding is not the place you want everyone hammered and not remember a thing...its the celebration of two people tying the knot...dont change a thing. Dont let them pressure you...if they dont like it then they need to 'man up' and deal with it LOL IF they really love you, they will be there for you no matter what....
dont stress...good luck chickie!
leesah85
Posted:
Member since
Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
Posted by fdnybride163
Posted by HoosierCouple
I am having a party on a friday night and people are still being annoying about it bc they have work till 5 etc etc and have to go striaght from work.
I started to nicely say that i cant afford a sat night and if i was to have a sat night that would mean i would only be able to invite 1/2 of the invite list (aka maybe not you or not your family, etc etc). I say this in a nice way.
I think people just like to complain. i have heard complaints about sun as well bc work is the next day.... aka people are going to be annoying no matter what!
hth!
well said!
I have to do a friday, cause basically, I cant afford saturday! and we have a ton of OOT family and guests, and you know what? they are just going to have to either miss out on the wedding of the century ( ) or suck it up, take a day off work and enjoy the long weekend on long island!
people complain no matter what we do so eff it, do what you want and what you can afford, and they will be sorry.
P.s. Ive never known people to not want an excuse to take off of work ! so maybe they are just downplaying until it gets close.
same here!
cateydee
Posted:
Member since
Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
we got married on the thursday before July 4 weekend (the holiday was monday). Everyone had plenty of notice beforehand so those who were close to us who were scheduled to work the next day took off or took 1/2 day. there was also a LARGE amount of teachers who were off and people who dont work.
we invited 250 people and 200 showed up(mostly OOTers declined). Many left early (but because they were driving to the hamptons to start their weekend, not cuz of work!). We agonized over the decision to book a thursday but we sent out a massive text to our friends and family asking their opinion. they mostly said that it wouldnt matter what day of the week we were getting married, they would be there no matter what. the people that really matter to you will be there.
just be prepared for people to leave early.
hth
kaseygirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
So happy to see everyone on here is being so supportive.
We too are having a Thursday wedding...AND also at Riviera. (June 9th).
When the idea was first suggested to us we didn't really go for it. Once we thought about it some more and talked to some family we went with it and couldn't believe some of the savings we saw from vendors.
We have been able to do things we would have NEVER been able to afford if we had a Saturday in June.
A few months ago I read some people's opinions of a Thursday night wedding on here and started to have some second thoughts. Then we realzied there is no way to please everyone, so we can only do what works best for us.
People will get past it, and like someone said, those who say 'Oh i will come but won't be drinking,' will NOT be sitting around watching the clock. They will be nursing headaches and sore feet in the morning just like everyone else! ! !
Leave the date and don't even give it a second thought. It's your wedding and its going to be amazing and everyone who comes will be so happy for you, they won't even notcie what night of the week it is.
wearefamily608
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Member since
Re: Thursday night wedding vent*
I can see both sides and personally unless it was someone extremely important to me I would not attend a wedding where I had to work the next day. With that said, it's your day and you chose what worked for you and FH. Knowing the honor you bestowed upon them by inviting them hopefully they will attend. However if your feedback is THAT bad I would just check to see how many people you guaranteed and ensure you will still meet that minimum. It's crazy to pay for people who won't come, KWIM? We started with a very modest wedding that sort of exploded. We are doing a Sunday afternoon as a result and originally guaranteed 50 which has become 100 though I didn't have to increase my guarantee
