tipping is getting out of hand....

I completely agree! I am with you, i understand tipping the waitstaff well, but tipping 100 here and 100 there to everyone else is ridiculous. before you know it, you spent 1000 is tips.

not for nothing a tip is a tip, there should be no standard rate for doing your job- again unless its the waitstaff...

not to mention that half of these people include gratuity but they expect money on top of that...normally I would always do it but you can't when you have soo many people to tip...If gratuity is included then I'm not tipping!

Well - unless they do an outstanding job

I wa stold that $500 would be too small a tip to give the maitre 'd, or BM, whatever she is, because she has to split it with the waitstaff. But we paid an 18% gratuity. So, who gets that?


ETS- that is +/-$15 a person. That is $3 per person for the maitre 'd, and $12-13 per person. 10 people per table is $120 per server.
If a server is in charge of 2-3 tables?! Thats a fair night.

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Posted by Naunie

I wa stold that $500 would be too small a tip to give the maitre 'd, or BM, whatever she is, because she has to split it with the waitstaff. But we paid an 18% gratuity. So, who gets that?

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The 18% 'gratuity' makes up part of the salaries of the waitstaff at some halls. There was a post about it a month or so ago.

Now if you are using a photographer and he owns the business, do you tip him? And also the DOC, if she owns her own business? I thought the general rule is that if they are the owners they don't get tipped since they will be bringing in all the profit.

Also, my limo company includes the tip and I am not tipping on top of that. Sorry, but my pockets only go so deep

You tip lots of people in the regular course of business....why should these people be any different?

Some photographers, videographers, DJs, BMs, BAs, go so far out of their way for you that day, maybe they deserve a little bit more. A tip can't hurt. If it hurts your pocket so much then don't do it. I just think it's a nice thank you. Tipping is optional, they won't come after you if you don't do it.

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Posted by diluvchu

Tipping is optional, they won't come after you if you don't do it.

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not true... there's a story on here somewhere of a bride who had her wedding at my place (The Crescent) who didn't tip their suggested $1200 at the end of the night... and the MD CLIMBED in the limo after them at the end of the wedding and called them CHEAP! She was a couple of hundred off!

We're having about 150 people at our wedding, so we should only have to tip abuot $750 according to most etiquette, but I think The Crescent will 'expect' over $1200. I'm scared!!

I think the whole tipping thing is outrageous. We're never going to see most of these people again, most of them will keep the very large amounts of money we're already paying them, and it should be given and appreciated based on OUTSTANDING service. I will probably not be tipping anyone who owns the business I am using (i.e., hair, make up, DJ, etc.).

I say, if gratuity is included, there shouldn't be any 'extra' tip.

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Posted by klingklang77

i have been reading a lot on tipping lately on these boards and i have also been going over my budget and going over tipping. when all is said and done i will need like $400 for tipping.

i can understand tipping people in the restaurant part, as they dont get a decent minimum wage (like $3 an hour).

i also understand tipping delivery people.

but come on, why do DJs and limo drivers and band members and this person and that person need tips? dont they get a wage, that is well above the minimum wage?

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I do not understand it either....We actually did tip eeryone on top of the 20 % that was automatically added to most bills, but it just made me even more mad that those vendors that charged the 20% were the ones that we felt expected a tip on the day of the wedding!!!

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Posted by sarahradio5

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Posted by diluvchu

Tipping is optional, they won't come after you if you don't do it.

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not true... there's a story on here somewhere of a bride who had her wedding at my place (The Crescent) who didn't tip their suggested $1200 at the end of the night... and the MD CLIMBED in the limo after them at the end of the wedding and called them CHEAP! She was a couple of hundred off!

We're having about 150 people at our wedding, so we should only have to tip abuot $750 according to most etiquette, but I think The Crescent will 'expect' over $1200. I'm scared!!

I think the whole tipping thing is outrageous. We're never going to see most of these people again, most of them will keep the very large amounts of money we're already paying them, and it should be given and appreciated based on OUTSTANDING service. I will probably not be tipping anyone who owns the business I am using (i.e., hair, make up, DJ, etc.).

I say, if gratuity is included, there shouldn't be any 'extra' tip.

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First of all, when I said come after I meant legally. And second the bride who had the woman or whomever 'come after' her - who knows the story - but let's face it how many times do you hear that happen, honestly? And that scared part? No offense but give me a break! I seriously hope you are kidding!

I just think after all brides spend on weddings a few extra bucks to say thanks for taking care of me doesn't hurt. Sometimes brides really sound ungrateful. They own the business...so what? They deserve less? They spent less time on you or cared about you less?

I totally agree! I agree on the general topic of tipping getting out of hand! I mean come on... i understand the restaurant people (because i worked in a restaurant and everything is based on tips, not the $3.80 you get an hour as a waitress), but the limo driver, DJ, photographer, videographer... they're supposed to do their job. You're paying them for their service. If they go above and beyond, okay well than i'll maybe tip them. But it shouldn't be expected as it is these days!

Nowadays, it's getting out of hand. I mean i don't know who i'm supposed to or not supposed to tip anymore!

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Posted by diluvchu

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Posted by sarahradio5

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Posted by diluvchu

Tipping is optional, they won't come after you if you don't do it.

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not true... there's a story on here somewhere of a bride who had her wedding at my place (The Crescent) who didn't tip their suggested $1200 at the end of the night... and the MD CLIMBED in the limo after them at the end of the wedding and called them CHEAP! She was a couple of hundred off!

We're having about 150 people at our wedding, so we should only have to tip abuot $750 according to most etiquette, but I think The Crescent will 'expect' over $1200. I'm scared!!

I think the whole tipping thing is outrageous. We're never going to see most of these people again, most of them will keep the very large amounts of money we're already paying them, and it should be given and appreciated based on OUTSTANDING service. I will probably not be tipping anyone who owns the business I am using (i.e., hair, make up, DJ, etc.).

I say, if gratuity is included, there shouldn't be any 'extra' tip.

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First of all, when I said come after I meant legally. And second the bride who had the woman or whomever 'come after' her - who knows the story - but let's face it how many times do you hear that happen, honestly? And that scared part? No offense but give me a break! I seriously hope you are kidding!

I just think after all brides spend on weddings a few extra bucks to say thanks for taking care of me doesn't hurt. Sometimes brides really sound ungrateful. They own the business...so what? They deserve less? They spent less time on you or cared about you less?

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First of all... What's it to you, but... No, I'm not kidding because I'm am getting married at that same place, and I really do not want to have my wedding night ruined by someone climbing in the back of the limo with me and my new husband just because we may have run out of money by that time and couldn't afford to give that much of a tip. I - and I think most brides - would be MORTIFIED if that happened. But I'm tipping what I think my place DESERVES the night of the wedding - and what I can afford to give... I'm not tipping out of FEAR of anyone.

Second of all, if it is in a contract, like one girl mentioned here, then I guess maybe they CAN sue you for it - or 'come after' you as you put it. Third of all, no one is GIVING these weddings to us brides, so why on EARTH would we have to act so overly GRATEFUL to anyone who hears the word 'wedding' and immediately tacks on extra money to take advantage? Yes, we are going to hopefully be happy with great service from vendors we hire... but the key word is HIRE. No one is doing this for FREE. Almost every vendor out there thinks brides and their families are money trees... they think we're ATM machines. This whole wedding industry has gone overboard. That being said, if someone goes above and beyone to make our day FANTASTIC, they will get a tip... but it should be based on what the bride and groom FEEL to give and should be APPRECIATED by the recipient since they're already making a TON of money off all of us as it is. If gratuity is already included at the reception hall, why on earth would we have to pay MORE gratuity on top of that? That's not being ungrateful... that's called logic.

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Posted by diluvchu
First of all, when I said come after I meant legally. And second the bride who had the woman or whomever 'come after' her - who knows the story - but let's face it how many times do you hear that happen, honestly? And that scared part? No offense but give me a break! I seriously hope you are kidding!

I just think after all brides spend on weddings a few extra bucks to say thanks for taking care of me doesn't hurt. Sometimes brides really sound ungrateful. They own the business...so what? They deserve less? They spent less time on you or cared about you less?

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brides ungrateful? if they own the business, i hire them to do a job (play music or take pics). why do i have to tip them extra if they do a good job? i am already paying them to do their job. if they go and do a great job, then great, but i shouldnt have to tip them for doing a great job. when i hired them, i expect them to do a great job. why should i reward them extra for doing their job? it is silly.

as for the maitre d' thing, i cant believe they get that much !!!!

i work in a restaurant (not saying who as they are a vendor on here) and we do parties there. occasionally weddings. usually i work as part of the wait staff and we do a pool house (everyone gets the same). a few times i have worked as a maitre d' and i got tipped $100 extra (in addition to my pool cut) for say a party of 70-80. i was very grateful for that, but 3-5$ a head. that is BS.

at times where i work, i know that the boss has stolen money from our tips (he counts them and gives them to us), but why should we expect the person that is paying for the party to make up for how the place pays the workers? that isnt the person who is having the party's problem.

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Posted by soon2bcopswife

My maitre'd told us $5-7 a person. I told him he was out of his mind....that would have come to $900. So we gave $700. It's ridiculous, absolute robbery.

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OK, I am having a hard time getting past the fact that your maitre'd TOLD you how much you should tip THEM!!! It's not a tip if they tell you how much you should give them! That is CRAZY!!!!

just wanted to add, when i was a waitress in a popular LI catering hall, we never got the gratuity! we got paid a shift pay (which was like $50 for many many tiring hours! and were charged for a meal per shift ) and if we were lucky, we would get tips from some of the guests but i never counted on it b/c in a way i don't feel the guest should have to tip after the bride and groom already paid sooo much! ----the maitre D never split their ' big tip' with us and we did most of the work!!........... now when i attend an affair wedding, etc. i alway tip the waitstaff a few bucks.........so in my case, at my catering hall, where did that gratuity go??? i guess back to the hall b/c i never saw it!

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Posted by woobie113007

My RH told me that for the Maitre'd its expected to give $3.00-$5.00 a head.....which is still a lton of money IMO.......I just have no clue!!!!!!
Im starting to stress over the whole wedding planning anyways.

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My RH told me that the maitre d' was not included in the 18% gratuity and that it was at OUR discretion to tip and for the $ we wanted.

I don't understand how they can tell you what to tip. In such case, just add it to the bottom line and don't call it a tip.

I always thought a tip was voluntary as financial compensation for a job well done.

ETA: a lot of our vendor have prices/hour that are WAY over what I am making per hour.

For example, my officiant is $500 (about what other brides are paying!). My ceremony will last 15-20 minutes. Now, he sent me a bunch of copies of vows, ceremony outline. So, I am pretty much doing it myself (and what FH and I want!). So, between his travelling time 1.5 hours to be generous, 15-20 minute ceremony, and 30 minutes to sent me the emails and putting my suggestions together..it's approximatelly 3 hours of his life. Not too bad $500 for 3 hours.