tipping is getting out of hand....

At CLM, a MD fee is included in the contract and it's only $300...which is great compared to what I'm seeing here. Just to make sure, since it's included in the contract, I don't have to give anything extra, do I?

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Posted by sarahradio5

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Posted by diluvchu

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Posted by sarahradio5

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Posted by diluvchu

Tipping is optional, they won't come after you if you don't do it.

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not true... there's a story on here somewhere of a bride who had her wedding at my place (The Crescent) who didn't tip their suggested $1200 at the end of the night... and the MD CLIMBED in the limo after them at the end of the wedding and called them CHEAP! She was a couple of hundred off!

We're having about 150 people at our wedding, so we should only have to tip abuot $750 according to most etiquette, but I think The Crescent will 'expect' over $1200. I'm scared!!

I think the whole tipping thing is outrageous. We're never going to see most of these people again, most of them will keep the very large amounts of money we're already paying them, and it should be given and appreciated based on OUTSTANDING service. I will probably not be tipping anyone who owns the business I am using (i.e., hair, make up, DJ, etc.).

I say, if gratuity is included, there shouldn't be any 'extra' tip.

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First of all, when I said come after I meant legally. And second the bride who had the woman or whomever 'come after' her - who knows the story - but let's face it how many times do you hear that happen, honestly? And that scared part? No offense but give me a break! I seriously hope you are kidding!

I just think after all brides spend on weddings a few extra bucks to say thanks for taking care of me doesn't hurt. Sometimes brides really sound ungrateful. They own the business...so what? They deserve less? They spent less time on you or cared about you less?

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First of all... What's it to you, but... No, I'm not kidding because I'm am getting married at that same place, and I really do not want to have my wedding night ruined by someone climbing in the back of the limo with me and my new husband just because we may have run out of money by that time and couldn't afford to give that much of a tip. I - and I think most brides - would be MORTIFIED if that happened. But I'm tipping what I think my place DESERVES the night of the wedding - and what I can afford to give... I'm not tipping out of FEAR of anyone.

Second of all, if it is in a contract, like one girl mentioned here, then I guess maybe they CAN sue you for it - or 'come after' you as you put it. Third of all, no one is GIVING these weddings to us brides, so why on EARTH would we have to act so overly GRATEFUL to anyone who hears the word 'wedding' and immediately tacks on extra money to take advantage? Yes, we are going to hopefully be happy with great service from vendors we hire... but the key word is HIRE. No one is doing this for FREE. Almost every vendor out there thinks brides and their families are money trees... they think we're ATM machines. This whole wedding industry has gone overboard. That being said, if someone goes above and beyone to make our day FANTASTIC, they will get a tip... but it should be based on what the bride and groom FEEL to give and should be APPRECIATED by the recipient since they're already making a TON of money off all of us as it is. If gratuity is already included at the reception hall, why on earth would we have to pay MORE gratuity on top of that? That's not being ungrateful... that's called logic.

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Go back to my original post on this topic. I said if you can't afford to tip don't it's optional. I don't see why so many brides get so bent out of shape over it. DON'T WANT TO TIP THEN DON'T. I never mentioned gratuity.

Sorry you feel if you don't feel that if you tip the proper amount at your hall you are going to be attacked. You may want to speak with your hall about that. I don't know how comfortable I would feel getting married somewhere where I felt threatened.

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Posted by csui25

The $3 per person was already added in my contract for the maitre d so I had no choice.

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yeah, that's the best when the TIP is written into the Contract!!!!!!

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Posted by woobie113007

My RH told me that for the Maitre'd its expected to give $3.00-$5.00 a head.....which is still a lton of money IMO.......I just have no clue!!!!!!
Im starting to stress over the whole wedding planning anyways.

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If you have 150 guests at $3.00 a head that's $400.00. Uhm...BITE ME! He/She gets $100- 150

DJ $100
Limo $50 per driver
Photo $150

DON'T FORGET!! we have to feed them too!!!

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Posted by diluvchu

Go back to my original post on this topic. I said if you can't afford to tip don't it's optional. I don't see why so many brides get so bent out of shape over it. DON'T WANT TO TIP THEN DON'T. I never mentioned gratuity.

Sorry you feel if you don't feel that if you tip the proper amount at your hall you are going to be attacked. You may want to speak with your hall about that. I don't know how comfortable I would feel getting married somewhere where I felt threatened.

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The post of yours to which I responded to was the one where you said that some brides complaining about tipping were 'ungrateful'. In that post, you also seemed to unnecessarily have an attitude with me, which I don't appreciate. I honestly don't care that much about what you have to say about this topic to research all your other posts about this... I'm just defending all the other brides' rights to vent about the OVERTIPPING expected by some vendors. And every bride here has the right to express how they feel without having someone call them 'ungrateful'. If you're already paying an exorbitant amount of money for these wedding services that in a lot of cases is going 100% into some vendors' pockets, being expected to TIP on top of that is ridiculous. Where does it end?

And... FYI... I didn't pick my dream place for the people that work there... I picked it for the gorgeous beach view. I would never let anyone keep me from getting married at my dream place.

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Posted by ahall04

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Posted by soon2bcopswife

My maitre'd told us $5-7 a person. I told him he was out of his mind....that would have come to $900. So we gave $700. It's ridiculous, absolute robbery.

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OK, I am having a hard time getting past the fact that your maitre'd TOLD you how much you should tip THEM!!! It's not a tip if they tell you how much you should give them! That is CRAZY!!!!

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Let me correct myself...my banquet manager told us that the 'expected amount to tip the maitre'd is $5-7 a head, and $90-100 for the bridal attendant'.

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Posted by sarahradio5

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Posted by diluvchu

Go back to my original post on this topic. I said if you can't afford to tip don't it's optional. I don't see why so many brides get so bent out of shape over it. DON'T WANT TO TIP THEN DON'T. I never mentioned gratuity.

Sorry you feel if you don't feel that if you tip the proper amount at your hall you are going to be attacked. You may want to speak with your hall about that. I don't know how comfortable I would feel getting married somewhere where I felt threatened.

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The post of yours to which I responded to was the one where you said that some brides complaining about tipping were 'ungrateful'. In that post, you also seemed to unnecessarily have an attitude with me, which I don't appreciate. I honestly don't care that much about what you have to say about this topic to research all your other posts about this... I'm just defending all the other brides' rights to vent about the OVERTIPPING expected by some vendors. And every bride here has the right to express how they feel without having someone call them 'ungrateful'. If you're already paying an exorbitant amount of money for these wedding services that in a lot of cases is going 100% into some vendors' pockets, being expected to TIP on top of that is ridiculous. Where does it end?

And... FYI... I didn't pick my dream place for the people that work there... I picked it for the gorgeous beach view. I would never let anyone keep me from getting married at my dream place.

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Actually you quoted me when I said tipping was optional and they won't come after you.....

but i'm done for the night

enjoy the boards!

Oh no ladies... let's not fight over these. Let's just agree to disagree... PEACE!

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Posted by diluvchu

Actually you quoted me when I said tipping was optional and they won't come after you.....

but i'm done for the night

enjoy the boards!

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yes... by saying that a maitre d' actually did run after a couple and called them cheap. And THEN you called brides ungrateful. And I defended 'us' brides. My bad.

This is so ridiculous.

Don't worry, Sophie. Just setting the record straight for us very 'grateful' brides.

Good night!

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Posted by DUCKS2001

i hate it i tell ya!!I DO NOT GET A TIP AT MY JOB!for goodness sake its thier job

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I would love to get a tip at my job.....'Thanks for the copies Leslie, here is $5, GOOD JOB'.

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Posted by soon2bcopswife

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Posted by DUCKS2001

i hate it i tell ya!!I DO NOT GET A TIP AT MY JOB!for goodness sake its thier job

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I would love to get a tip at my job.....'Thanks for the copies Leslie, here is $5, GOOD JOB'.

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HAHA....Same here...Cheryl, great job preparing that 2000 catalog mailing, here's a few bucks. Awwww, really Mr. Boss??? Thanks.

My theory on tipping is as follows:

1. tips are something a person earns.

2. there is no such thing as a 'standard' tip because there is too much a variance in human nature, and thus it naturally follows that there is a variance of quality in the service you receive.

3. an owner of a business is garnering almost the entire fee being paid (and in some cases the entire fee) and therefore must go far beyond the service being paid for to earn a tip.

Almost all my vendors are the owners of the business. In some cases they have assistants whose salary they pay, and in other cases they work solo (and therefore earn 100% of what I am paying them). Several of these vendors have told me outright they are the owner and will not accept a tip (and one even wrote it on my contract). Others have said nothing, still others have said that money is not the only way to show my appreciation for a job well done.

I will make my final decisions on tipping the day of because with the exception of my DOC I haven't had enough contact with any given vendor to make a determination as whether or not they have 'earned' a tip, and if so how much of a tip (10%, 20%, or some other random number that is based on some arbitrary criteria).

I'm almost afraid to post since this topic is getting so heated, but I completely understand why. When we're already paying 18% gratuity, and 3-6k on each of our vendors, why should we pay even more?!?!?! It's totally out of control. Like other people said, when I do a good job at work, I don't get tipped. Excellence is expected and my reward is simply my paycheck.

I do plan on tipping the waiters and waitress at my hall and that's the only definite. If the maitre'd goes above and beyond, probably they will get tipped too. But if they are slacking and not doing a good job, I will in no way feel obligated to tip them. As for my vendors, I'm sorry, but I'm not. All of them own their own business and are making TONS of money off me already. And, I have to give a special shout out to Pedestals, my florist, who, when I asked about tipping, told me that a tip is not expected and I shouldn't worry about doing it. I appreciate the fact that they recoginze I'm paying a lot and should expect excellent service in return that does not additional funding.

Anyway, my overall feeling is that if you don't want tip, don't (as long as you're not legally obligated to). If some crazy lady chases you down, roll up your window and smile as you drive away to enjoy your wedding night!!