To get engaged or not.....

Do you think someone with credit card debt should wait to get engaged until they have paid off their debt or it doesn't really matter?

Let me know what you think.....

depends on the amount of debt....if the person they are getting married to is aware of their cc debt, and is willing to possibly hurt their credit after they are married, then they have to make that decision. The other party has to realize that when you get married, it affects the credit of BOTH parties involved.

Personally, I wouldn't want to marry someone with credit card debt or bad credit.

I don't think that's enough information.

Are we talking $2k? $12K? $20K? $50K?

A lot of other factors (income of both, employment, salary, responsibility, who's paying for the wedding, etc.)

If I waited until I paid off my law school student loans, we'd never get engaged! But, the loans don't cause a financial hardship.

Finances are the #1 thing couples fight over... so both people need to know the whole story and what they are getting into. They also need to be realistic about their finances / what they can afford.

I have some debt and I got engaged while having it. I used to want to be debt free before I was engaged or married because I didn't want to bring my financial baggage into a relationship. However, I have been open and honest with my FH about my debt and he has been AMAZING in helping me organize it and pay it off. I really couldn't have gotten as far as I have with paying of my debt if it weren't for him.
I think you should go on with your life and not let your financial problems hold you back. Get financial counseling and marry the man of your dreams. Life must go on.

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Posted by neener1211

depends on the amount of debt....if the person they are getting married to is aware of their cc debt, and is willing to possibly hurt their credit after they are married, then they have to make that decision. The other party has to realize that when you get married, it affects the credit of BOTH parties involved.

Personally, I wouldn't want to marry someone with credit card debt or bad credit.

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Accounts in one person's name only do not affect the credit of the person they are married to... it would affect them in the case of a joint account.

Marrying someone with bad credit doesn't lower your credit score in and of itself. You just need to be careful that your spouse is responsible with money for your joint accounts / bills...

ETA - yes, certainly bad credit impacts both in a couple, but it doesn't lower your credit score if you marry someone with bad credit.

credit card debt is about 8k. One person is in school the other isn't. Both make under b/w 25-30k per year.

Should they wait...or go for it? and they are in their mid 20's

Some people owe $1K and think they are in huge debt, other owe $25K and see nothing wrong. I think I'd want things cleared up or some kind of sign to see that the problem was being handled. Unless its student loan debt, I would need to hear a good explanation. I would prefer to wait. You have so many expenses when you are getting married and if you decide to apply for a mortgage that could be the reason you get rejected. JMHO

A ffriend's bf proposed and bought the ring with a cc. She refuses to accept it until the ring is paid in full. Strong girl!

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Posted by Kara and Todd

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Posted by neener1211

depends on the amount of debt....if the person they are getting married to is aware of their cc debt, and is willing to possibly hurt their credit after they are married, then they have to make that decision. The other party has to realize that when you get married, it affects the credit of BOTH parties involved.

Personally, I wouldn't want to marry someone with credit card debt or bad credit.

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Accounts in one person's name only do not affect the credit of the person they are married to... it would affect them in the case of a joint account.

Marrying someone with bad credit doesn't lower your credit score in and of itself. You just need to be careful that your spouse is responsible with money for your joint accounts / bills...

ETA - yes, certainly bad credit impacts both in a couple, but it doesn't lower your credit score if you marry someone with bad credit.

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I was assuming they were putting everything together once married. Again, I'll reiterate, it is a personal preference for each and every person.

I think it's their decision.

They don't sound too financially stable to me... but they are adults and can make their own decisions.

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Posted by neener1211

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Posted by Kara and Todd

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Posted by neener1211

depends on the amount of debt....if the person they are getting married to is aware of their cc debt, and is willing to possibly hurt their credit after they are married, then they have to make that decision. The other party has to realize that when you get married, it affects the credit of BOTH parties involved.

Personally, I wouldn't want to marry someone with credit card debt or bad credit.

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Accounts in one person's name only do not affect the credit of the person they are married to... it would affect them in the case of a joint account.

Marrying someone with bad credit doesn't lower your credit score in and of itself. You just need to be careful that your spouse is responsible with money for your joint accounts / bills...

ETA - yes, certainly bad credit impacts both in a couple, but it doesn't lower your credit score if you marry someone with bad credit.

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I was assuming they were putting everything together once married. Again, I'll reiterate, it is a personal preference for each and every person.

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Agreed it's a personal preference...

Opening joint accounts, however, also doesn't negatively impact one's credit score. You can't assume someone else's bad credit. Your credit can be ruined if you have a joint accout that goes into default, however.

I don't know this might sound snotty, i don't mean it to be, but i don't think we should judge anyones decison to get engaged, in debt or not, if they love each other and it feels right, that should be the only thing considered.

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Posted by HeatherRose

I don't know this might sound snotty, i don't mean it to be, but i don't think we should judge anyones decison to get engaged, in debt or not, if they love each other and it feels right, that should be the only thing considered.

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I understand what you are saying, but Love doesn't pay the bills. (JMO)

I am in law school, so i am going to come out of this with around 150k of debt, and FH is going into Grad school. If we waited for this all to be behind us, we would be getting married when we were in our 40s. As long as they can budget around it, maybe lower their budget for the wedding (what we are trying to figure out) and realize that it wont go away and be smart about what they would do, then its ok. If they decide to rack up even MORE debt to pay for the wedding (I know some people who took out loans to pay for everything) then maybe they aren't ready for it.

Regardless, if they feel its time, and they know the situation going in, then they can be realistic about it. Its what they want, and while I can see the hesitation, waiting for someone to be 'financially ready' could mean you wait until you are both 80 or so, because expenses keep popping up.

Dunno if this helps, but...

We have some debt but nothing major. I have student loans under 10k, owe around 1k on credit cards. We plan on not owning a house/condo for a few more years so I think for us its fine but i don't know about your current situation.

I would wait to graduate school regardless.. or know when your graduating and time it out that you know you will have some form of steady employment after a ceratin time. I factored this into our wedding date. Graduate in May - married March. It gives me plenty of time to get a good full tme job and start putting money away / paying off debt.

What I have found out is the average CREDIT card debt for a U.S. Citizen is 8,000. The overall debt is vastly more for the average individual. People purchase things out of their financial realm all the time. This is way for for the first time since the great depression national individual savings are negative. No one is saving money.