Well the contract we have signed is for currently is Westbury Manor, but tomorrow im going to see Jericho Terrace and New Hyde Park Inn becasue my mother for some reason has lost her mind and now hates Westbury manor. Things are horrible at home, first its that i got engaged to someone whos not greek, even though he went and asked my dad for my hand (which he said yes) so they new what was coming, then the hall, then its the fact that my fiance isn't a doctor or lawyer (basically have money or come from money), then its that my mom is embarrassed of the inlaws (they just met since they wouldnt meet them before i got engaged) because they wear jeans and sneakers and dont dress up and bla bla bla bla...sometimes I think this is all not worth it and honestly after 6 years of being with him now they have a problem? Today I finally have a civil convo with my mom about new hyde park and she starts crying to me that I can do better and i can find someone with money, and what are other people going to think....and how shes sick over this and im killing her...its beyond drama at this point im ready to give up and say f**k this whole wedding and run away. To much stress, to much ********, and to much heartache and hurt I don't think I can take anymore. I really do not know how I could have gone through all this without the support of my FH, he has been so great and wonderful about it all and understanding that my parents are psycho, hopefully he doesn't snap on me as well one day :(
2013Bride
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Re: To upset for words
Awww, I am soooo sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you.... but I wish you much luck with this situation!
Shanti12
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Re: To upset for words
Awww Just take some deep breaths and realize that they can't change your relationship and force you to be with someone different. I am sorry that you are going through this... Sometimes people will just be that way. If it were me I might just elope but I hate for you to not have a wedding that you want
Fanoula169
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Re: To upset for words
Posted by Shanti12
Awww Just take some deep breaths and realize that they can't change your relationship and force you to be with someone different. I am sorry that you are going through this... Sometimes people will just be that way. If it were me I might just elope but I hate for you to not have a wedding that you want
Thanks guys, I wish I could elope, My dream wedding would be to get married in the bahamas in the little greek church and have my reception outside on the beach under the beautiful stars...but of course that can never be possible either :(
mattandjess2013
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Posted by Fanoula169 Thanks guys, I wish I could elope, My dream wedding would be to get married in the bahamas in the little greek church and have my reception outside on the beach under the beautiful stars...but of course that can never be possible either :(
Why isn't that possible? I'd totally do it. Not saying that it would be right to do without telling your parents and giving them the OPTION of going (with their mouths shut of course)
Things will work out. I wish I had better advice for you though.
Fanoula169
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Re: To upset for words
Cus they would never go for it, i mentioned it and got laughed at, my mom wants a big fancy wedding, its not like she didnt want one herself but i guess she wants to redo it again...im sorry for venting its just really hard at the moment, and I really can't tell anyone
katnwill
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Re: To upset for words
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. As long as FH treats you with respect and loves you I think that should be the most important part. If he has a job that can support a family it should not matter that he does not come from money. I know it's easier for me to say it. When my father met FH's parents for the first time he asked him in front of his family what do you do for a living. It sounds like a normal question to ask but it was the way he worded the question and the tone of his voice; he sounded harsh. He was basically asking him do you have money. I was so embarassed.
I hope your parents can understand that this is the person you love and he loves you back. You could marry someone who has a lot of money and be miserable because money is not everything although it is important. Maybe you should let things cool off for a while then try to speak to your mother again.
Hope things work out.
nyrvixen
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Re: To upset for words
I'm sorry she's still putting you through this. Maybe try turing the tables on her. Tell her that this is the man you love with all your heart and you don't care what others think when it comes to him or your wedding day because it's YOUR wedding day. You need to stand firm and tell her that she is taking this very joyous time and making it a horrible experience. It isn't FH that ruining this it's her and the fact that she can't be happy for her own daughter. Tell her that you appreciate everything she's done for you growing up but she needs to let you go and you need to live your life.
MissSunshine
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Re: To upset for words
Sorry to hear this, hun
Pretty_In_Pink
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Re: To upset for words
First of all let me say I am sorry your going through all of this. But I have to say that I have a friend who is greek and when she got married her parents did the same exact thing. It was a terrible fight, they even went as far as finding her a man to marry while she was already engaged and planning the wedding. The man was from greek and he even went as for as giving her a wedding ring to entice her.I felt so bad for her they didn't like her FH at that time, she had to fight for their approval.... Their excuse was he wasn't a lawyer or a doctor, he wasn't greek and his family etc..... This list goes on and on and on. Now they are happily married, but she fought for her marriage, her wedding and for their respect. So you just have to do the same!!!! But I have to warn you, it did get really ugly,.... But it is doable. If you want WM, then you have it. She is your mom, she is God. And when she realizes you wont move on your decision she will get it.
Kristin31613
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I am so sorry. I hope things work out for you.
Bride2013
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I'm sorry to hear this!! Hope all works out as i'm sure it will!! Like the girls said stay firm an assertive!! I'm sure your mother had her own wedding and now it's your turn! Don't live with regret...at the end of the day your her daughter and she will just have to respect your decision!!
linda_art
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Re: To upset for words
Being two weeks ago Im going to tell you that this is prob just the beginning of her miserableness and how miserable shes going to make this for you bc apparently she thinks its about her. Life is too short. It really is. You are not a victim and you are not helpless. It takes effort and action and courage but you can very EASILY set some boundaries with this controlling woman. She sounds a little sick in one way or another. Im sorry that you are dealing with this but I'm giving you my honest opinion based on experience. I hope you dont think twice about giving it all up and turning our back on your FH. Its sad that thats even a thought in your head. Maybe you can talk to a therapist or someone who can teach you how to set boundaries, detach from her nasty crap, and not react when shes trying her best to attack you. Please get yourself help, in this day its out there. This isn't the first time parents have behaved like yours, books have been written... Now you need to just arm yourself with some tools so you feel confident enough to take an action. If you're mature enough to get married than im sure youre mature enough to take care of yourself. Im sure your FH doesnt love you going through this either. I know when I get upset my FH doesnt like it either. When all is said and done you and fh will have your own family. Thats whats important! Good Luck!
Fanoula169
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Re: To upset for words
Posted by Pretty_In_Pink
First of all let me say I am sorry your going through all of this. But I have to say that I have a friend who is greek and when she got married her parents did the same exact thing. It was a terrible fight, they even went as far as finding her a man to marry while she was already engaged and planning the wedding. The man was from greek and he even went as for as giving her a wedding ring to entice her.I felt so bad for her they didn't like her FH at that time, she had to fight for their approval.... Their excuse was he wasn't a lawyer or a doctor, he wasn't greek and his family etc..... This list goes on and on and on. Now they are happily married, but she fought for her marriage, her wedding and for their respect. So you just have to do the same!!!! But I have to warn you, it did get really ugly,.... But it is doable. If you want WM, then you have it. She is your mom, she is God. And when she realizes you wont move on your decision she will get it.
Exactly whate you are saying I am going through, according to my mom i wasnt taken unless i was engaged so she would always try to push people on me that i couldnt care less for, i was dating my FH so in my mind I always had a bf, in her mind i never did. Now that im engaged its all this drama, she refused to meet hims parents when we started dating and now 6 years later you give me this malarki that you are embarrassed by their appearances, like seriously your say is long over. Mind you FH family only cares for my happiness, thats why they offred to pay for their side of the family, they offered to pay for viense hour, they offered to pay for limos and any other stuff I needed, they even put down the deposit to Westbury manor down (My FH was gonna pay the deposit but his dad went to the 'bathroom' and i found out a few days later that his dad paid for it)so now i feel sooo bad cus they just lost the deposit if we change venues cus my mother doesnt think its 'fancy' enough...its like nothing they do is good enough and the more i think of this the madder I get, so before I start cursing, i need to pause for the cause lol
MommaMia
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Re: To upset for words
First and foremost we are here for you!! I am so sorry you are going through this; but believe in your heart that the love you and fh share will pull you thru this. Your mom can cry stomp her feet and even fall down and throw a temper tantrum and in the end she will remain your mom. I pray she will come around but if WM is what u want, then do it; and if she doesn't approve them end her an invite. Sometimes we have to for what we wnt. She might love jericho terrace more and might cave a bit but u and fh need to know what u are comfortable in meeting half way on if anything.
In the end remember true love conquers all!
Sending. Love and prayers
Xoxo
Fanoula169
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Re: To upset for words
Posted by linda_art
Being two weeks ago Im going to tell you that this is prob just the beginning of her miserableness and how miserable shes going to make this for you bc apparently she thinks its about her. Life is too short. It really is. You are not a victim and you are not helpless. It takes effort and action and courage but you can very EASILY set some boundaries with this controlling woman. She sounds a little sick in one way or another. Im sorry that you are dealing with this but I'm giving you my honest opinion based on experience. I hope you dont think twice about giving it all up and turning our back on your FH. Its sad that thats even a thought in your head. Maybe you can talk to a therapist or someone who can teach you how to set boundaries, detach from her nasty crap, and not react when shes trying her best to attack you. Please get yourself help, in this day its out there. This isn't the first time parents have behaved like yours, books have been written... Now you need to just arm yourself with some tools so you feel confident enough to take an action. If you're mature enough to get married than im sure youre mature enough to take care of yourself. Im sure your FH doesnt love you going through this either. I know when I get upset my FH doesnt like it either. When all is said and done you and fh will have your own family. Thats whats important! Good Luck!
lets just say the day after we booked the hall, she claimed she had chest pains and went to the doctor, which she is fine, just her being her usual drama self. Then procedded to claim she has anxiety and depression, and then claimed to cut me off after the wedding and if i have kids she will not help me raise them....so yea complete drama. Im sorry to say there will be no therapy sessions for her since shes to embarassed to go to the doctor to find out if she has anxiety because how can she tell the doctor i did such a thing to her and im the one causing all this to her (in her words) I know I'm going to fight this as the time passes, my FH hates seeing me upset, cus the more he sees me cry the more annoyed he gets cus this should be happy time for both of us, hopefully it changes one day.
Fanoula169
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Re: To upset for words
Posted by MommaMia
First and foremost we are here for you!! I am so sorry you are going through this; but believe in your heart that the love you and fh share will pull you thru this. Your mom can cry stomp her feet and even fall down and throw a temper tantrum and in the end she will remain your mom. I pray she will come around but if WM is what u want, then do it; and if she doesn't approve them end her an invite. Sometimes we have to for what we wnt. She might love jericho terrace more and might cave a bit but u and fh need to know what u are comfortable in meeting half way on if anything.
In the end remember true love conquers all!
Sending. Love and prayers
Xoxo
Thank you for your kind words. I honestly love new hyde park inn, but i know how expensive it is and felt really guilty spending my parents money on just one day, so i went with a more reasonable priced hall that me and the FH liked, but at this point if she wants glitz and glamor she can pay for it. Hoepfully the price we get tom slaps her in the face and makes her like westbury again.
vanillataco
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Re: To upset for words
I am so sorry you are going through this.
Fanoula169
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Re: To upset for words
Posted by nyrvixen
I'm sorry she's still putting you through this. Maybe try turing the tables on her. Tell her that this is the man you love with all your heart and you don't care what others think when it comes to him or your wedding day because it's YOUR wedding day. You need to stand firm and tell her that she is taking this very joyous time and making it a horrible experience. It isn't FH that ruining this it's her and the fact that she can't be happy for her own daughter. Tell her that you appreciate everything she's done for you growing up but she needs to let you go and you need to live your life.
I have my friend :( today the nice old jewish lady that lives next door yelled at my mom cus she saw how upset i was and told her your not marrying the guy, its her life, if theres love between them what more do u want.....and she went on and on but that mostly wht i could hear by evesdropping, hopefully tom wont be a nightmare, ill text u if it is lol
Kguardz
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Re: To upset for words
Oh girl that is awful I am so sorry!! I hope one day she realizes that she'll be the one missing out and your future children if you plan to have any will miss out as well Don't get me wrong sometimes I'm a little embarssed by my future inlaws. I think i've seen my ffil in jeans ONCE in the two years fh have been dating. Even for christmas dinners and things like that the man wears sweatpants, but out of all things that they could be or do that is the least of my concerns. I hope you and your mom work it out, or she leanrns to shut up and just be happy for you!
