Well the baby didn't turn- as I already knew just by feeling my belly. But of course they need to confirm it with a photo so they did. The NST at first was all wacky since the baby decided to move left or right every 3 minutes and they couldn't get a good reading but then the midwife gave me ice chips and the baby became very cooperative and happy and responded well.
Our LIW OBs have both helped me a ton and told me I can get a second opinion about the turn since the head of OB at my hospital said No way since I have GD. But I am not sure what to do about that just yet. I will speak to my midwife tomorrow about it. The baby is in a Frank Breech and even the external turn is not very sucessful with these types of babies.
I don't know if I could handle the dissappointment if it didn't work.
The midwife told me that they want to schedule the 'c' word for late next week most likely although nothing is set in stone just yet. And to make matters worse the nurse in the room mentioned to me that any baby born to a GD Mom is taken to the NIC unit asap for monitoring. I told the midwife that unless something is wrong I want to hold the baby first and will not allow them to just start taking the baby after I see him/her for 10 seconds. Of course if something was wrong (which is the procedure in ANY birth) then the baby's health comes first. I also told the midwife NO staples, since I read that women with disposable stitches seem to recover better and I am dealthy afriad of the staples (even though I have heard they do not hurt). She said that is fine and that has been done plenty of time before and it is my choice. I also said my arms cannot be tied down and she said that is also done and okay.
I started to cry though because I just cannot believe that this is happening and I am truly afraid of the surgery- not just a little afraid but I mean terrified of the entire thing, right down to the needle in my back and walking later that day. I just cannot get past this. yes, there are worse things that could happen. yes, this is done everyday. I KNOW all of that. I understand what happens during the surgery. And I beg you please do not tell me to focus on the end result because that just is not helping right now. All I see is an operation, not a birth. I see a cold room full of lights and strangers at one of the most private time in my life. I don't get to say 'Honey, it's time' or make the 'we are on our way' calls or time the contractions or even feel what labor feels like. I asked if I was allowed to labor before the c-section but was told No because the cord could come before the baby and that is VERY bad.
I did a lot of reseach over the past few days and there are many women who feel like I do- that they are not 'whole' and that they missed out the act of giving birth, which is something many looked forward to for a long time. I also know many women don't mind a c-section one bit and it was fine with them. But I don't seem to be able to move my thinking over to that. I am just not sure I can. I did feel better knowing that so many women write about how I feel right now.
Tomorrow:
I have the chiropractor tomorrow at 10am to do a technique that has been known to turn a baby. My midwife said she has had girls who have had success with it so there is hope that it will work BUT I could see her face and she really doesn't believe that the baby will turn at this point. But she did say it has happened and can happen and there is still a chance that it will.
Here is just some info to explain:
There are three types of breech positions:
a) Frank breech: In this position, you find that the baby’s bottom is down with its legs extended up towards the face.
b) Complete breech: In this position, the thighs are flexed at the groin, but the legs are bent at the knees, almost as if the baby were sitting cross-legged.
c) Incomplete breech: In this position, one or more of the feet or knees lies below the level of the buttocks of the baby, making it the part of the baby closest to the mother’s vagina.
From a study that I found and I have been told by midwife also:
Other research has shown that when ECV is tried with a woman who is having her first baby, or when the baby has its legs straight alongside its body (frank breech position), ECV is less likely to be successful.
Anyway, thanks for letting me cry on your shoulders. As always, I appreciate it very much.
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