Too much drama for me

So for any of you that read my previous posts with my dad drama, there's more involved than I thought. I am SOOO pissed at him that his name will not be going on the invitations and he will not be participating in walking me halfway down the aisle (which he said his soon-to-be wife thought was stupid). So back to the original plan I had. My mom and her bf (who has become like a father to me and whose youngest daughter is in my bridal party) will be giving me away. Period. And my mom's name will be the only one on the invitation along with FH's parents names.

So I found out last month (from my grandmother) that my dad is getting remarried on October 27th. He's having a church ceremony and a reception at the Knights of Columbus in Lindenhurst. Backspace to about 4 years ago. My mom and I get a letter from the Diocese of Rockville Center saying my dad applied for an annulment. Long story short, we write letters and fight it, he gets denied, meaning he cannot remarry in the catholic church since his marriage to my mom was valid. My dad and I have a huge falling out and stop speaking for several years and my relationship with my family was estranged. Now I decide to extend the olive branch because I did not want my relationship severed with him or the rest of the family. I send out my dave the dates to him and the rest of the family. Things seem to be going okay until he starts distancing himself from me again. I come to find out he's getting remarried. My grandmother tells me not to mention to him that I know about it. Umm ok why? And then I come to wonder, how he is getting married in the church if the annulment was denied. My mom decides to look into this because she's pissed as well as me. I asked my grandmother if he's doing invitations, if anyone in the family is invited, which church it is, and if he's having a reception. I get told by her that she doesn't know anything about invitations or the details. I ask her the actual date because all she told me was he is getting married in October. She says she doesn't know. Bull!

My mom works with my aunt who I was always the closest with. She found out from her when the exact date was, the church it is being held at, and the reception location. Found out the whole family is invited.....except me. I haven't spoken to him at all in weeks nor do I care to. My blood boils and my heart aches when I think about it. And I included his fiancees name on my bridal shower list, so I don't know if I will see her there but whatever. My shower is a surprise but I have a feeling it's in October so now I don't know if any of my family will be at the shower. I don't even know at this point if my dad will be at my wedding, but it is what it is. And finding out my own grandmother lied to me makes me question her intentions as well. So then fast forward to yesterday. My mother finds out that he applied for another annulment through Diocese of Brooklyn and it was granted. My mom told them she never received a letter. Found out the letter was sent to an even older apartment address and it was never sent back to them. My dad did this on purpose because he knew that if it didn't get back to them it automatically gets granted. Which leads me to believe that this is why he is avoiding me. It's beyong upsetting to me that my own father doesn't want me there at his wedding and I feel like he just wants me out of his life. I am almost hoping at this point that he doesn't show up to the wedding.

It's gotten so bad and I've become so angry and depressed at the same time that sometimes I don't know where my head is and I get upset over the least little thing. There are days where I just want my wedding done and over with so I can be done with all the family drama etc but I know i should be enjoying this. Anyways sorry about the long vent but I know I can discuss these frustrations here among people who know the stresses that planning a wedding can bring.

Re: Too much drama for me

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Posted by FutureMrsRossi
There are days where I just want my wedding done and over with so I can be done with all the family drama etc but I know i should be enjoying this. Anyways sorry about the long vent but I know I can discuss these frustrations here among people who know the stresses that planning a wedding can bring.

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I hear you :( The drama never ends. I'm sorry this is happening to you. In the end I think you just have to let go of the people who continually hurt you and hold on to the ones that treat you the way you deserve. Keep your head up, in spite of all the drama your day will be wonderful :)

Too much drama for me - Long Island Weddings

I'm so sorry that all of this is going on. I think that Snarkyspice is right and you need to try and let go of the people that are hurting you. As much as all of this is hurtful and disappointing and sad, you have to keep in mind that you will be marrying the man of you dreams and the people that will be celebrating with you are the ones who matter most. Hugs!

Too much drama for me - Long Island Weddings

That was a really crappy thing of your dad to do. I'm so sorry this is happening with all the stress of the wedding. Hopefully it will all work out.

Too much drama for me - Long Island Weddings

Your mom can still step forward..........

But something tells me that essentially lying to the Church is going to come back and haunt him in one way or another.

Too much drama for me - Long Island Weddings

i'm so sorry this is happening to you. I don't know what this is like since I have a close relationship with my parents, but I definitely understand where you are coming from regarding extended family and your grandmother. i have a very tumultuous relationship with my extended family and being sneaky is just awful. You don't need that in your life. Just focus on the people around you that love you and are always there and WANT to be there. <3

Re: Too much drama for me

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Posted by McC2McM

Your mom can still step forward..........

But something tells me that essentially lying to the Church is going to come back and haunt him in one way or another.

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My mom actually did step forward. She called the Diocese of Brooklyn and blasted them wanting to know why she was not informed of his granted annulment and when she found out the letter was send to an even older address that my dad knew we didn't live at she lost it. The woman at the Diocese apologized profusely and said this changes things. She asked my mom if she wanted to re-open the case and her response was to let him have his annulment and to know that he lied to them.

At this point, it hurts that the annulment was granted and that he thinks so little of me to state that a marriage of 25 years that produced a child meant nothing to him. It also hurts that he thinks nothing of me to invite me to the wedding. I wanted his name on the invitation and I wanted him to participate in walking me down the aisle with his soon-to-be wife, my mom and her boyfriend. But now that was all ruined. Matter of fact I just approved the proofs for my invitations and they do not have my father's name on them. I invited him to taste testing, cake tasting, and to hang out with FH and I on several occassions and all I got was excuses and no responses. This is a man who claims he loves me and will always love me? Ha! I'd hate to see how he treats his enemies.