Totally vain question about engagement rings

Original post by nrvbrd

May 14, 2003 12:28 PM

Hi.

I think I have a beautiful ring- marquise cut 1.5 carats- my hands are small so it looks bigger than what it is.

I always tend to look at other ladies rings- some are bigger, some are smaller. It never affected me.

Yesterday I happened to be in an elevator with a woman who had a beautiful, round flawless diamond it must have been at least 3 carats. For the first time since I got engaged I was a bit envious. This never has happened to me.

Have any of you felt this way when you saw someone with such an eye catching ring?

Vanity comes in at this point because quite a few women say to me -when I am in the room with my ring they want to hide theirs, so yesterday I felt the same way as these women felt around me.

I had to laugh!!!!

Jenny5150 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:37 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

For all you know, the 3 carat ring you see on some chick may be well-below her and her FH's means. Her FH may have opted for the 3cts over the 4cts because he wanted to save.

Just because someone has a big rock doesn't necessarily mean they broke the bank, nor does it mean that they opted to sacrifice quality so they could have a larger stone. Some people can afford it without blinking an eye.

Jordan Posted: May 14, 2003 03:43 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

No, there isn't even a small part of me that gets envious of other women's e-rings. It feels weird saying that I love a material object, but I love my ring - I love the gesture behind it and the researsh my SO put into finding *the* perfect stone & setting for me (his words).

Don't get me wrong, I like diamonds so I always look at people's jewelry but my taste is so different that I've never felt a twinge of envy towards another woman's ring. Plus I'm not into the gaud so bigger doesn't equate to better in my world.

I do have a friend that told her boyfriend that he'd better not giver her anything less than 1.5 c's. He didn't - it's probably 2 c's tw...but his reasoning for being able to do it was that he could skimp on the color since it was going to be set in yellow gold (he was told that the yellow gold 'hides' the 'poor' color better than white or platinum would.

Sassyz75 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:44 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Oh you are right.. I sure that most of the people with the bigger gems have more cash then we do- I was just speaking from my own personal circumstances... I don't make any assumptions about anyone else's rings- I can appreciate very nice ones- and do notice them- for all I know the people are millionaires or whatever... really I don't give a crap because it has nothing to do with me... I just can appreciate a piece of nice jewelry.

Would I want to trade up? No, probably not- does that make someone else a bad person because they do? No... none of my business what people do with their diamonds, how they spend their finances, etc.

I was speaking about DH and Me.. that's all... really- a large diamond or perfect things are really not what's important to me or DH- we don't live our lives that way comparing to what other people have- that only makes for misery... but that's a different thread.

danigirl0 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:44 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

also remember girls that everyones tastes are different...some go for size, some go for style, some go for shape....what one person likes another may hate. the most important thing is that we all have our men....and for the rings, if you think its beautiful a hundred others like you do too. keep them all shiny ladies!!

Sage10.03 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:45 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

My ring was not a struggle for my FH and for that I am greatful....Otherwise he wouldn't have bought it.

He is all about spending within our means and only buying what we can afford to pay for (in cash)!!!

I am glad too - b/c he keeps me in check.

I just think we all have different tastes, different financial constraints/advantages and just as I wouldn't look at a smaller stone and think 'Oh that's so small' someone shouldn't look at mine and think 'It must be a bad quality b/c it's bigger'

that's all.....

N&L2004 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:51 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

My ring is almost flawless 1.5 ct and worth a lot of money according to an appraisal for insurance purposes, but what matters to me is that my FI said that he saw hundreds of stones and setting of different shapes and sizes and when he saw my combination he said 'this is it, that's the ring for her' and that means the world to me that he picked it out on his own and I love it.
I often admire other rings, and think that there is a beautiful love story behind every one of them no matter what size or quality . JMO

KarenK122 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:53 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

my e-ring was an heirloom from my FI's grandmother. He reset the diamonds into a more 'modern' setting. I love my ring and although it is not huge...little less than a carat, the sentimental value makes me look at the ring like its 20 carats!!!!

We very easily could have put a large stone in the center of the others, but we both opted to have our wedding sooner (which we are paying for ourselves) and to get on with our life's together. We did splurg a little on my wedding bands though.

Most of my friends have rings that are aleast 2 carats and all of them are beautiful. Not one skimped on quality or color. Some opted to have long engagements and used their initial savings for the ring. Other had very well off FIs. Do I feel jealous...not in the least. All of our rings were purchased with love no matter what they cost.

I say do what you like and what will make you happy.

janatlantica Posted: May 14, 2003 04:09 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I think you are either someone who checks out others rings and compares(NOTHING wrong with that!) or you are someone who doesn't and are not interested in other people's things.(NOTHING wrong with that either!) 'Whatever makes you happy' was a statement I truly agree with.

I am actually a checker-outer myself and proud of it!

MelTodd604 Posted: May 14, 2003 04:44 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

YES! i know what u mean....I see rings now all the time and i say 'how would my ring look if I changed it that way'--lol I Love my ring, its a Tiffany setting white gold, Beautiful!! But I was thinking about adding round diamonds on each side, FH said I can if I wanted to...but i still feel bad!

HappyEverAfter Posted: May 14, 2003 04:55 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I love my e-ring, and get compliments on it all the time, but would love it no matter what the size. I think I am really non-materialistic, I dont remember the color or clarity stats, although they are on the appraisal and the card that came w. the ring, and FH knows how high quality the stone is. None of that matters to me, the ring means love and commitment to me. When I look at it, I think of FH and the family we are making. That feeling is worth more than 100 diamonds

Sunny Posted: May 14, 2003 05:01 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I just changed my setting....

prncssrachel Posted: May 14, 2003 05:22 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I just don't understand why in the world it matters how big your e-ring is. Well, i should't say that. Before we were engaged or even thinking of getting married, I always envisioned myself with a ring of superb size because that's what I was taught to expect. But as soon as we started to discuss getting married, I thought to myself, do I want my poor FH to be penniless in order for me to wear a piece of jewelry, or do I want something smaller that means the same, and avoids the debt that would only end up being mine too after the wedding? It turned out I didn't even need to make the decision because when we went to try on rings, I fell in love with one that was just under a carat without even knowing the size of the stone. It means more to me that FH didn't have to bend over backwards and put himself into debt for a ring. It symbolizes something larger than life and to have a ring to match that I would need to strap it to my back. JMO.

julybride444 Posted: May 14, 2003 05:28 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Wow, this thread got kind of catty! I don't understand why everyone is getting defensive. These little things on our fingers don't mean anything without what's behind it.

Size, quality, cut whatever-what's on someones hand has nothing to do with the love behind it, the financial capability of the couple or their family (some people opt for smaller rings for other reasons, some buy rings way beyond their means, ya never know), or anything else. Some people opt not to get diamonds at all b/c diamonds come from war torn countries where workers are treated horribly. Some people opt to wear their grandmothers ring or some such thing.

Even those who say this on this thread seem to feel the need to say how big and what quality ring they have. If it doesn't matter, and it doesn't, who cares?

Jordan Posted: May 14, 2003 05:37 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Well said julybride444...

Scoop Posted: May 14, 2003 06:09 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I have to say I am very happy with my ring...size & all. I do understand what you mean though.

groovypeg Posted: May 14, 2003 06:14 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

i am very happy with my ring too. i know it is not 'perfect' but it is perfect to me!

gertyrae Posted: May 14, 2003 07:21 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I hope noone takes this badly, but i didn't even want (or get) a diamond. I had heard a long time ago that men used to get their girl her favorite stone as an engagement ring and that the diamond thing was sort of brought about by the jewelry business in the early 1900's( just like DeBeers has enough diamonds in their vaults that if they ever released them diamonds would be virtually worthless). Anyway, when my FI asked me what kind of diamond i would want i told him i wanted a sapphire, he took me to a jewelry store a year ago and asked me what i liked, then remembered the style and had a jeweler make it up for him. I love it, it's a sapphire and i think it is the most beautiful ring.
Of course, one of my friends 'had' to say, 'I don't understand why you wouldn't want a diamond just so everyone knows you are engaged'. I know and i think in the end that's all that really matters.
I do have to add though, that I love being wowed by other women's rings. I think that giant diamonds are awesome if you can afford them.

Thrilled Posted: May 14, 2003 07:37 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Thank you julybride...I wasn't sure why the thread turned a little catty? I felt like mv1003 got jumped on just a tad...so.

Fact is...every one of us, every single ones of us, has a man who loved us enough to ask us marry him. Period. And truly, that is ALL that matters at the end of the day. Ring or no ring.

to all of you!

Jenny5150 Posted: May 14, 2003 08:50 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I don't think anybody jumped on mv1003. I know I certainly didn't. My response was in general and not aimed at any one individual.

I don't think this thread got catty at all. I just feel there's a lot of negative assumptions and insinuations when it comes to larger stones.

juju Posted: May 14, 2003 09:09 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I love my Cushion-Cut Ring!! I get so many compliments on my ring and the man who chose it! (of course, I've had a pict of the stone on the refridge for many many months) So I think he got the hint. It's the perfect size for me 1.5.