Totally vain question about engagement rings

Original post by nrvbrd

May 14, 2003 12:28 PM

Hi.

I think I have a beautiful ring- marquise cut 1.5 carats- my hands are small so it looks bigger than what it is.

I always tend to look at other ladies rings- some are bigger, some are smaller. It never affected me.

Yesterday I happened to be in an elevator with a woman who had a beautiful, round flawless diamond it must have been at least 3 carats. For the first time since I got engaged I was a bit envious. This never has happened to me.

Have any of you felt this way when you saw someone with such an eye catching ring?

Vanity comes in at this point because quite a few women say to me -when I am in the room with my ring they want to hide theirs, so yesterday I felt the same way as these women felt around me.

I had to laugh!!!!

februarybride Posted: May 14, 2003 02:39 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

A friend of mine told her soon to be fiance that he better not buy her a ring any smaller than 1.5 cts. She said she wants a 2ct or bigger and doesn't care about quality - she wants size! Now I've heard these words come out of her mouth 'The size of the ring will show how much you love me' -- Can you imagine -- that's shallow.
I don't think there is anything wrong with looking and wanting a larger stone - but not demand!

xjulietx Posted: May 14, 2003 02:39 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

This blurb comes from an article that was in the Wall Street Journal about questions couples should ask when they are thinking about getting married

Would you ever consider trading in your engagement ring for a bigger, better diamond? In a 1988 poll of 200 new brides by Diamond Cutters International, 46% said yes and 54% said no.

Now, 15 years later, these women have been polled again. Of those who in 1988 were willing to trade up their diamonds, 81% are now divorced. Of the sentimental types who said they'd never trade their rings, 78% remain married today. The results suggest that people who are 'hard-wired' to upgrade rings also may be driven to upgrade cars, houses and eventually, spouses, says psychiatrist Francisco Montalvo, who monitored the study.

jbella13 Posted: May 14, 2003 02:41 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I love my ring it's just a carat. It's round solitare in a platnimun setting. I didn't want anything bigger I actually wanted smaller. A couple of girls rings at work are bigger then mine but the quality isn't as good. I think QUALITY IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN QUANTITY

mv1003 Posted: May 14, 2003 02:44 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

to that ariticle! wow
and yes- QUALITY over QUANTITY always!
I might have the smallest stone in the office... but it's the best quality! I couldn't have picked a nicer ring myself-I just love it

Jenny5150 Posted: May 14, 2003 02:54 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

You girls really stare at other girls rings to check out the quality? How do you know it's not dirty?

I find it kind of ironic that the girls who have 1.5 cts or less think that the larger rings they have seen are of less quality.

'quality' nor 'quantity' necessarily means it's more expensive.
Example:
A High Quality (D, IF) 1 carat stone will cost $10,300.
A so called low quality stone (H, SI2) 1.92 carats will cost $11,000.

It just depends on where you want to put your dollars.

In my opinion...cut (not shape) makes or breaks a diamond.

Sage10.03 Posted: May 14, 2003 02:56 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I have to add (just for arguments sake) that not all big rings are a bad quality....
My FH was able to give me a sizeable stone w/o having to sacrafice quality.
I know that is not the case with all rings, and I feel very lucky....but I just wanted to say that....

Either way - he could have given me a chip and I would have accepted that as well....

It's not the size, cut, or color that matters as much as the Man giving it

Edited to add - you read my mind Jenny5150

Sassyz75 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:01 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

FH and I joke about upgrading- but I told him NEVER EVER.... It's just not the same. Yes, I can admire other people's rings but that's it.

mv1003 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:06 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

oh- sorry- don't misunderstand me- I don't think the larger stones are less quality- for the girls I work with- they discussed it one day- cut clarity color- and I just know that my color is a better grade etc... (I work w/ some caddy girls, I don't really talk about my ring w/ them- but I'll listen)

yes, I do look at all the bling blings in the world- for that, I would never in a million years be able to tell the 4c's of any stone- nor spend time trying to figure it out. I think they're all beautiful.
I think the meaning behind every woman having one on her hand is the most beautiful thing in the world! To me, it means someone loves you unconditionally. Some people never have that in their lives.

I use to look at women's hands as a little girl and hope that I'd have that someday. Not the physical ring- the man who loved me no matter what

I really hope I didn't sound like I was trying to demean bigger rings- We're all very lucky women!

jlf41 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:10 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Jenny - you read my mind also. My diamond in 2.25 carats and also very high quality. It is not necessarily one or the other. And i also agree that cut is one of the most important qualitities of a stone- and my jeweler would agree too. I feel lucky to have a beautiful and pretty big diamond. But as my DH already knows- I love diamonds, the bigger and more sparkly the better. And it definetely is not about what other people think or notice (although I do notice and love to admire other women's rings- of all shapes and sizes). I have my eye on a larger stone for someday- with the hope of passing this one on to my child. And I definetely never take it off!! Not to sleep or do dishes (not that I do tha many dishes ) Only take it off in the OR because I have to.

Jenny5150 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:12 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I guess I'm one of the few that doesn't equate our love with the ring. I'd marry him whether he gave me one or not. The engagement ring is customary in our culture (just like big weddings instead of just having a ceremony). If you look at the history of the e-ring, it didn't always have something to do with 'love', but was more a public affirmation...that you belong to someone. It hasn't changed all that much today. People don't look at someone's e-ring or wedding band and think 'they're loved by someone', but more commonly 'they're spoken for'.

MarcellaBella Posted: May 14, 2003 03:14 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Jenny!! BRAVO!! Thank you soo much for your response!! I agree with you 10000000000%

februarybride Posted: May 14, 2003 03:17 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Well said Jenny

Jenny5150 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:18 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

jlf41 - I'm with you...I love diamonds or anything sparkly for that matter. I'm a Swarovski *****.

I ask the other girls, what's wrong with wanting a larger stone someday!?!

MarcellaBella Posted: May 14, 2003 03:18 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

and like I said Jenny, I love BIG and GAUDY!!

Sassyz75 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:20 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Also- I am cheap.. I'd rather own vacation property than own a huge ring or a fantastically expensive car... just doesn't 'do' anything for me... but a house on the beach- that does!

Jenny5150 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:21 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Marcella, you're a woman after my own heart!

(edited for a type-o)

mv1003 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:23 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

I guess I do have a sentimental value to 'the ring'
I could buy myself a diamond ring- but to me, it wouldn't have the same meaning to me as my engagement ring.
I do agree w/ you though- I too, would marry him w/ or w/out a ring

MarcellaBella Posted: May 14, 2003 03:26 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

Jenny LOL!!

Oh and not to start anything but why can't I have a nice ring, nice car AND a nice house? lol so what if it takes a little longer or not.. we all can still have nice things.

jennbaby Posted: May 14, 2003 03:28 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

My ering is almost flawless 1.84 carats. d in color -VVS1

My dads wife has almsot flawless 4.2 carats! D in color VVS1

You wouldnt believe what they costed/aprraised for!

Sassyz75 Posted: May 14, 2003 03:32 PM

Re: Totally vain question about engagement rings

You can- you can have it all- I guess I look at my parents- they have tons of cashola in the bank- they can do whatever they want- and they are young (late 40s) and they got this way because they never bought to the limit.. meaning, we can afford the 2 carat- but lets buy a 1 carat so we can stock away the cash...

Not that there is anything wrong with having it all- but I am anal with $ and retirement and I want to make sure we can always live comfortably and never have to rely on our future children.