tricky moh situation

JPC1125 Posted: Mar 01, 2005 05:51 PM

tricky moh situation

my moh is my fh's cousin ...shes 18 and ive knows her for 7 years...were not terribly close

\but over vacation this past week, she todl me shes throwing me a bachlorette party, its going to be with her friends from work (at a supermarket) and she knows a girl who will get the alcohol

now 1) i dont drink
2) i dont want a bach. party at all
3) i have never met her friends and think it will be awkward meeting them the first time at my party

i told her that i dont want her to waste her money on a party ...but didnt really tell her my sincere feelings about her idea

id rather have a nice quiet bridal shower with our moms and my aunts and cousins etc

how should i handle this...shoudl i ask fh's grandma to step in and talk to moh, should i talk to fmil to ask her to plan the bridal shower with her instead of the b-party???

what would you do?

anjerandunder Posted: Mar 01, 2005 05:53 PM

Re: tricky moh situation

it's your night and i'd just tell her you don't want to do it..i'm sure she'll get over it..

suven Posted: Mar 01, 2005 06:03 PM

Re: tricky moh situation

Have your FH do the talking...

David'sbride Posted: Mar 01, 2005 06:29 PM

Re: tricky moh situation

It sounds to me like your bachelorette party might also be an excuse for her underage friends to have a party with alcohol. I know you don't want to do it for the reasons above but, in addition you should also know that if anything should happen you could be held legally responsible. You don't even want to go there.

LuckyMe Posted: Mar 01, 2005 06:43 PM

Re: tricky moh situation

Not being opinionated here but can I ask why she's your MOH if your not close to her? Not that Im saying there is anything wrong with it just curious. If she's FH's cousin let him say something for you. Dont make yourself uncomfortable if dont have too. I also agree that it sounds like an underage person looking for a reason to party with alcohol but I could be wrong.

curliegirl Posted: Mar 01, 2005 06:46 PM

Re: tricky moh situation

I'm just wondering.....your moh is your FH's cousin and you aren't close, and she's only 18.....why is she your moh?

Tell her how you feel.

JPC1125 Posted: Mar 01, 2005 06:52 PM

Re: tricky moh situation

ok well honestly shes my moh cause theres noone else

i have no sisters, or cousins or even best friends that are girls

and imsure i couldve gone nontraditional and went with a guy of honor but my guy friends arent exactly into wedding stuff

so its basically just as long as she shows up, im cool with that, i never wanted a bridal party anyway but fh's family is huge and wed offend some people greatly if we didnt include them

also, im totally aware of the illegalness of underage drinkers , which im totally against and is why im trying to nip this in the bud to begin with

littlebookworm4 Posted: Mar 01, 2005 07:14 PM

Re: tricky moh situation

just wondering why she would think that you'd want to have a Bach party with all of her friends and no one that you know? little odd...

JPC1125 Posted: Mar 01, 2005 07:31 PM

Re: tricky moh situation

well thats what i wanted to know

my thought is that she doesnt know how to throw a bach. party as in contacting my friends and planning activities...so shes letting her friends give her ideas

its like she knows her role as moh but doenst know how to execute it

i was hoping her mom would help her out- shes my favorite aunt in law :) but maybe my FMIL can help her out if i mention it

newnybride2be Posted: Mar 01, 2005 07:32 PM

Re: tricky moh situation

tell your fh mom or grandmother to talk to her and explain how you really dont want a bachelorette party and would rather have a small, intimate bridal shower instead. Tell them that you are not comfortable being at a party to celebrate your up coming marriage with strangers.