Trouble with church

yotonsie Posted: Nov 01, 2010 07:41 PM

Trouble with church

Hello all... I hope someone can help me. My fiance and I want to get married in a church but have already been denied by two. I've been to St. Raphaels in East Meadow and St. Brigid's in Westbury. Both are very strict. Seems I will have to get married at the hall if I cannot find a solution. Trouble isneither of us are church go-ers, or our parents... does anyone have any advise?

scooby8323 Posted: Nov 01, 2010 07:56 PM

Re: Trouble with church

I'm confused are you being denied because it is not your church?

Im getting Married Posted: Nov 01, 2010 08:04 PM

Re: Trouble with church

Try a non-dominational church. I think there is one down the block from Westbury Manor.

There is also a chapel (I think a vendor on here) those types of places might work out better for you

cMm2011 Posted: Nov 01, 2010 08:15 PM

Re: Trouble with church

many churches require you to be a parishioner. Do you belong to any church?
If not, have you thought about becoming a parishioner?

IrishAli Posted: Nov 01, 2010 08:24 PM

Re: Trouble with church

Weird. My parents stopped going a while back, and I moved out of town and never registered with a particular church. FH isn't even Catholic, and we are getting married at a church (granted, a super liberal Catholic church, but a church none-the-less).

We just aren't having a full mass.

FROMJLATOJLK Posted: Nov 01, 2010 08:38 PM

Re: Trouble with church

That's really weird, I would think they wouldn't want to turn away business, which when it comes down to brass tacks is exactly what we are...business to them.

My FH is Catholic but wasn't confirmed so we thought we were going to have a problem and believe it or not it's been a piece of cake throughout. This was my parish when I was a kid but they know for sure that we ALREADY live together and that we don't attend their church and they've been fine. And no, we aren't doing a full mass either.

Ceremonies at halls can be absolutely gorgeous AND have quite a bit of faith included, not necessarily religious though but some of your spirituality. HTH

FutureMrsZ Posted: Nov 01, 2010 08:48 PM

Re: Trouble with church

We are getting married at St. Martin of Tours in Bethpage and they were wonderful. Neither of us were the best Catholics on the block and Father Jim has been really understanding. FM me if you want more info.

annabellagirl Posted: Nov 01, 2010 10:32 PM

Re: Trouble with church

What??? Thats insane!! They should NOT be turning you away because you don't regularly go to church, honestly that is not a legit excuse!

Im getting married at the hall because i was married once before and my annulment process is a freakin nightmare! its NOT worth the aggrivation!

Im having a priest marry us... he was ordained and then decided to get married so he is no longer in the RC Church but can give us a catholic type of ceremony....

Is it THAT important to you to get married in a church???

Im just curious - what is their reason for turning you away???

Usually you fill out a questionaire and if you and your FH disagree on something, they discuss it with you - they dont deny you!

Im so THRILLED that we arent getting married in a church! Its a scam LOL
They require a 'DONATION' which is B.S. and they have the strictest rules!!!!

JAAMS Posted: Nov 01, 2010 10:55 PM

Re: Trouble with church

Why are you being denied?

Churches have different rules (just like any type of institution)...so you should keep looking around. You will find one that suits your needs.

annabellagirl Posted: Nov 01, 2010 11:09 PM

Re: Trouble with church

i still cant believe that 2 churches denied you!

I know st raphaels very well too!

CaseyCase Posted: Nov 01, 2010 11:54 PM

Re: Trouble with church

I would try a Lutheran church. It's similar to catholic but much more laid back and usually dont give ppl a hard time.

Watermelon5 Posted: Nov 02, 2010 02:06 AM

Re: Trouble with church

We are not regulars at our church although years a go our parents were parishioners and it was no problem. St. Pats in huntington - maybe give them a call? that is really odd!

FutureMrsCat050412 Posted: Nov 02, 2010 07:29 AM

Re: Trouble with church

we are getting married at Our Lady Of Mercy in Hicksville. Neither of us go to that church. FH's grandparents do and they were more than happy to have us. I'm lutheran and FH is catholic and there were no problems.

lazyc1981 Posted: Nov 02, 2010 07:41 AM

Re: Trouble with church

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!! We must have contacted 15 churches.... only to be denied! We are both Roman Catholic. Most churches today will not marry you unless you belong to their parish. When I explained to them that my brother passed away and it is too hard on my family to go to 'my' parish they STILL didn't allow me to get married in their church. I know it sounds rediculous but I can't make this stuff up. St. Patricks in Huntington basically told me I was lieing.When I told them about my brother the priest said 'ya know... their are a lot of catering halls on jerichos typke.) Insinuating taht I was just going to him for convienience. Meanwhile.... I was aleady booked at Lombardis on the Sound.,.. nowhere close to Huntington! I didn't give up... although, I totally wanted to and was considering changing my religion. I contacted Saint Philp Neri in Northport. Sister Grace was so understanding and extremely nice! So, we are getting married in Northport... still a bit far from Port Jefferson. Oh well...

justnicethings Posted: Nov 02, 2010 09:36 AM

Re: Trouble with church

Posted by annabellagirl

Im so THRILLED that we arent getting married in a church! Its a scam LOL
They require a 'DONATION' which is B.S. and they have the strictest rules!!!!

try to be more sensitive. a LOT of girls on here are getting married in churches and it means a lot to them.

JAAMS Posted: Nov 02, 2010 09:43 AM

Re: Trouble with church

Posted by justnicethings

Posted by annabellagirl

Im so THRILLED that we arent getting married in a church! Its a scam LOL
They require a 'DONATION' which is B.S. and they have the strictest rules!!!!

try to be more sensitive. a LOT of girls on here are getting married in churches and it means a lot to them.

ITA...I was going to write something when I first saw that...but it was late last night and I just kinda breezed past it.

It's not a 'scam' to get married in a Church. We switched from the RH to a Church only three months before the wedding, and I'm very grateful that we were able to find a Church to accommodate us at such short notice. It means a lot to FH & I to receive the sacrament of matrimony.

You have to pay to get married at an RH too, is that also a scam?

Cataverri Posted: Nov 02, 2010 10:00 AM

Re: Trouble with church

Theirs a reason why the church is deniying you guys...Fh and I are also getting married throught church and yes they are very strict, but theirs always a deeper reason why they would say NO to you guys.

Moonmist09 Posted: Nov 02, 2010 10:56 AM

Re: Trouble with church

i think the best thing is to explain why you are being denied.
we are all providing a million answers but you seem to have not put in the explanation on why you are being denied.
Is one of you not Catholic? are you not members of your church? this will help us to help you better and give you more accurate answers.

lori7570 Posted: Nov 02, 2010 12:00 PM

Re: Trouble with church

A church has every right to deny you if you are not regular parishoners. It is a sacrament and I'm happy most churches don't take it too lightly.

A lot of people go to a church because they like the way it looks - and IMHO they are missing the point of getting married in a church.

Why not become a parishoner? If it is important to get married in a church, it should be important enough to have a 'home' church