U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

When I read about Your Registry & bridal Showers.....

Because I have a feeling how mine will be.. I am praying that I am wrong but... I dunno....

I know FH and I will registry but i will say only like 20% of the wedding guest know what a Wedding Registry is or a Bridal Shower....
The rest of the people dont... and I try to talk about it with some guest and they look at me n said 'Wait, so we gotta buy U gifts and more gifts to the wedding?' (including FMIL )

I am SOOO excited to Registry with Fh.. But I am expecting being dissapointed when I go to my bridal shower and know that of the 30 women i (so far) have in the list, only 15 show up and i dont get gifts bc ppl will be like 'Well im giving u one at the wedding'... or be like 'heres ur wedding present ok?'

Remember I told yuo my mom's boss is throwing me my Bridal shower? (THANK GOD for her!)Well she is planning right now a bar mitzvah for her daughter... So we are not doing anythign regarding my BS... So she said She will do it a weekend day (sat or sun) Either end of June or anyweeken in July... So i feel so HAPPY & BLESSED bc of that...
So now, When i was talking to my FMIL about this she said
Her- 'So, This party we have to go in June/July we have to go to a store you tell us and buy the gifts you want?'
Me- 'Yes Suegra (Mother in law) that is how its done! then we have fun and play games'
Her- 'Ohh... and then you also want a gift at ur wedding right?'
Me- 'I guess that this is how its done...'
Her- ' I dunno if I can afford that or the guest, but we will see...... Oh By the way If you have that party at the time I am on Vacation, probably a weekend of June/July, I dont think I can make it since I will be going on vacation with my husband.'
Me- (acting like normal but feeling MAD n HURT inside) 'ohh... Ok.. I am not sure what day since she is throwing me everything for free'...

SO THIS IS MY LIFE...

This is WHY i get sad when I read ur LOVELY & GREAT Stories about your Registries & Bridal Shower.....


Love U girls!

hope everything works out. I dont see why fmil cant wait to see what weekend it is then schedule her vacation it doesnt seem like she has anything schedule as of yet

I'm sorry hunny

I hope that lots of your guests surprise you! Maybe they will be excited to buy you things off your registry so that you and your FH can start to build your home together!

I dont understand how people dont know what a bridal shower is - is it a cultural thing?? I guess I live under a rock and just thought that it was a pretty common practice. Not saying that everyone has one but I just assumed that people knew what they were.

Either way you will have a beautiful shower - if FMIL cant be there then so be it. Like another bride said why cant she just wait to book the vaca? Can you have FH talk some sense into her? I seems like she doesnt understand how important this is to you!!!

Maybe try to make her understand you aren't asking for a $300 gift from her - she can give you a $25 gift card to bed bath and beyond and that is just fine - it's just the thought since she is your FMIL.

aww v im so sorry...you never know maybe everyone is just messing with you...think happy thoughts ok!

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Posted by MrsTarricone2B

I'm sorry hunny

I hope that lots of your guests surprise you! Maybe they will be excited to buy you things off your registry so that you and your FH can start to build your home together!

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I duno =-(
I wish ppl will surprise but i doubt that....
Thanks anyway

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Posted by WeezyGirl2354

I dont understand how people dont know what a bridal shower is - is it a cultural thing?? I guess I live under a rock and just thought that it was a pretty common practice. Not saying that everyone has one but I just assumed that people knew what they were.

Either way you will have a beautiful shower - if FMIL cant be there then so be it. Like another bride said why cant she just wait to book the vaca? Can you have FH talk some sense into her? I seems like she doesnt understand how important this is to you!!!

Maybe try to make her understand you aren't asking for a $300 gift from her - she can give you a $25 gift card to bed bath and beyond and that is just fine - it's just the thought since she is your FMIL.

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See this is the thing... Spanish ppl dont get engaged (in our countries well at least on mine)... they just move in together & get pregnant... We dont have tjhis whole Great 'tradition' of being engaged... and enjoying ur engagement.. the ring...
Pppl dont do that there....

It is NOT u or the US.. its the ppl from my country...


I could CARE less if Shes there or NOT! but just sucks u know.. I maen its not like FMIl and I are best friends u know... but i cant beleive she said da!!

awww im sorry
it sucks because every religion has different things that they do for weddings.

Im jewish and my mother said jews dont have showers and my moms not inviting anyone to the shower cus she doesnt want to make it like they have to give a shower gift and a wedding gift
but my fh is greek and they do have showers.

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Posted by sjr385

Aww, V You should invite a bunch of LIW girls to your bridal shower! They'll know what to do!

But seriously, I think 'this is how things work' for weddings and all the things surrounding them are somewhat regional/cultural. For weddings, people from NY tend to give money while people from some other places like to give physical gifts. Here in England, people talk about having a 'hen do' and 'stag do' rather than bachelor/ette parties. For my wedding, I won't have a rehearsal, I almost certainly won't have a wedding shower (very few of my cousins did), and I probably won't have a b-party. And there's nothing wrong with that! At the end of the day, it's all about winding up married to the guy you love and building a life with him.

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But I guess you wont have one bc you DONT want to...
See i do want to... I only will be marry once and engaged once so I want to enjoy the whole process...
Plus, my 'culture' is soo different frm what im used to... Since a little girl i knew i didnt want to do what they do... Move in together, Have kids, Then thinkg bout getting married....
i wanted to get married then move then kids...
So coming tothe USA and seeing ppl do this in here, got me happy & since i came when i was 13 I am so use to so many 'American ways'....

That should b cool..... inviting the LIW girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by foundmylove

awww im sorry
it sucks because every religion has different things that they do for weddings.

Im jewish and my mother said jews dont have showers and my moms not inviting anyone to the shower cus she doesnt want to make it like they have to give a shower gift and a wedding gift
but my fh is greek and they do have showers.

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Jewish dont do Showers???
the lady whos giving me a shower is Jewish...

My mom did mention to me that many Italian people dont do baby showers. Like my grandmother didnt host one for my mom - my aunt (her sister) did and I thought that was really strange.

We aren't off the boat but I guess it's just something they dont do - and I was pretty shocked by that.

So i get it - it's hard for them (FMIL and your guests) to understand since it's not the norm BUT i think they need to step up and take the time to do this for you since it's not really about them understanding. Like you said - you are trying to adapt to the US traditions so they should be doing so for you with open arms - but that's just how I see it.

lol I dunno thats what my mom said
find a good website on how to throw a bridal shower and send fmil the link lol

I am having a shower but fmil and fsil are throwing it

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Posted by WeezyGirl2354

My mom did mention to me that many Italian people dont do baby showers. Like my grandmother didnt host one for my mom - my aunt (her sister) did and I thought that was really strange.

We aren't off the boat but I guess it's just something they dont do - and I was pretty shocked by that.

So i get it - it's hard for them (FMIL and your guests) to understand since it's not the norm BUT i think they need to step up and take the time to do this for you since it's not really about them understanding. Like you said - you are trying to adapt to the US traditions so they should be doing so for you with open arms - but that's just how I see it.

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Yes.... that is the thing...
They are so 'stuck' into the Salvadorian tranditions...
WELL I AM NOT DOING IT! I am here in USA and I want to do USA traditions bc this is where I AM!!!! This is wehre my kdis will be born!!!!!!!!!
I dont want to Move in Then get Pregnant! I want to get married!!!!! then move in.....

See thsi is why when Luis proposed EVERYONE thought I was pregnant!!
I got so mad i am looking at EVERYON (Salvadorian) 'NO I AM NOT PREGNANT! WE JUST LOVE EACH OTHER ADN WANT TO GET MARRIED...!!!!!'

I wish just they (ESPECIALLY FMIL) will be more cooperative... and helpful u know?

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Posted by foundmylove

lol I dunno thats what my mom said
find a good website on how to throw a bridal shower and send fmil the link lol

I am having a shower but fmil and fsil are throwing it

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LOL i should do that !
I dont know fi she will get the idea!
well she doesnt uses the comp so i have to print things.....

First of all I am sorry you are sad Chicka. This should be a happy time for you. When dealing with cultural differences, I know how you feel.

I know what you mean about different traditions and cultures. I am going through the same thing with FIL's as well and feel your pain. FSIL's don't get why we are having a big wedding and 'wasting $$'. To them you live with the guy, have babies and that's it....hes ur hubby. Doesn't work like that with me!!!!

I am not having a bridal shower :( or an E-Party. Sadly my ILs did not offer to help out and my parents can't help with it all :(

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Posted by foundmylove

awww im sorry
it sucks because every religion has different things that they do for weddings.

Im jewish and my mother said jews dont have showers and my moms not inviting anyone to the shower cus she doesnt want to make it like they have to give a shower gift and a wedding gift
but my fh is greek and they do have showers.

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Yeah usually Jews just do the weddind...no showers here either.

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Posted by VCanizalez

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Posted by foundmylove

awww im sorry
it sucks because every religion has different things that they do for weddings.

Im jewish and my mother said jews dont have showers and my moms not inviting anyone to the shower cus she doesnt want to make it like they have to give a shower gift and a wedding gift
but my fh is greek and they do have showers.

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Jewish dont do Showers???
the lady whos giving me a shower is Jewish...

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Most Jews dont.

I can relate somehow where your coming from.... Although thankfully my family and his family have attended many bridal showers so they are aware of what that is and what goes on.....

and I hate to hear that. I hope everyone shows up and that you guys receive many many presents.

Not sure if they do bridal showers in korea either. My mom told me she's only bringing two close friends of hers. She specifically didn't want me to invite any others on her list because she said it is like asking for presents and she doesn't feel comfortable about that.

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't have an engagement party! FH and I planned to have a housewarming/engagement party and it never happened and I could care less