U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

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Posted by JRT5412

Veronica I totally feel you on this. My wedding is the first wedding in my family and FH's family that is going to be in a catering hall. I wasn't planning on registering b/c I also felt that ppl wouldn't buy stuff from the registry. When I told my cousin to register for her wedding, a lot of my family members were quick to say ' we are not accustomed to do those type of things' 'No es nuestra costumbre'. Uggh I hate hearing that phrase. I know i am going to be hearing that a lot once my family hears where my wedding is going to be. But in the end it's your wedding, and if ur mother in law doesn't want to give you a gift then oh well i'm sure others will give you. It's your day and your wedding and you should have what you want .. something 'fuera de la costumbre!' I am already mentally preparing myself to not even get 1/2 of the $$ i'm spending on my wedding in wedding gifts. My mom is slowly letting ppl know that they should bring an envelope with $$ as a gift. But i have a feeling ppl are going to be strolling in with toasters and other appliances

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Posted by VCanizalez

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Posted by JRT5412

Veronica I totally feel you on this. My wedding is the first wedding in my family and FH's family that is going to be in a catering hall. I wasn't planning on registering b/c I also felt that ppl wouldn't buy stuff from the registry. When I told my cousin to register for her wedding, a lot of my family members were quick to say ' we are not accustomed to do those type of things' 'No es nuestra costumbre'. Uggh I hate hearing that phrase. I know i am going to be hearing that a lot once my family hears where my wedding is going to be. But in the end it's your wedding, and if ur mother in law doesn't want to give you a gift then oh well i'm sure others will give you. It's your day and your wedding and you should have what you want .. something 'fuera de la costumbre!' I am already mentally preparing myself to not even get 1/2 of the $$ i'm spending on my wedding in wedding gifts. My mom is slowly letting ppl know that they should bring an envelope with $$ as a gift. But i have a feeling ppl are going to be strolling in with toasters and other appliances

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YES chica! I know!!!!
See that is what I am fearing too!

You know? to be honest, I DONT CARE WHAT our Culture/Traditions are because If i am following Salvadorian tradition, I would ahve Gotten mysefl pregnant, live with Luis, W/o being engaged or thinkgin of wedding yet...
and I DONT WANT THAT!!!
I am sort of 'Americanize' lol if u can say it...
I hate that frase too 'No, Nosotros no hacemos esto' WELL I DONT CARE, THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING SO DEAL WITH IT, Right?

Ay Dios Mio! Que complicado!!!


Couple of months ago my FMIL said she will rbing us as our wedding present a Cookware set... I was like... Noo that is our Bridal party gift.. Shes like 'No, mi regalo sera eso porque eso hacemos nosotros'
I DONT CAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To my Eparty, (i know some ppl say that u dont have to give gifts at teh Eparty... not sure if its true or not) but Couples OR families will come and give us a $20 in a envelop!
A couple gave us A CUP!!!!!!!! A REG CUP!!!!
A family of six ( and we only invated the couple) gave us $20!! I was like

I dont understand sometimes....
Why couldnt u just at least 'LEARN' be aware of American Cultures/Traditions bc We are here in teh US!!!

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Posted by foundmylove

awww im sorry
it sucks because every religion has different things that they do for weddings.

Im jewish and my mother said jews dont have showers and my moms not inviting anyone to the shower cus she doesnt want to make it like they have to give a shower gift and a wedding gift
but my fh is greek and they do have showers.

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Posted by legalchef

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Posted by sjr385

Nope, not because I wouldn't want a shower. I won't have a shower because -- like some of the other girls have said -- Jews usually don't have showers. It's not our cultural tradition, even though I'm definitely American.

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Really? I've never heard of this at all, except maybe for the Orthodox.

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Posted by JRT5412

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Posted by VCanizalez

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Posted by JRT5412

Veronica I totally feel you on this. My wedding is the first wedding in my family and FH's family that is going to be in a catering hall. I wasn't planning on registering b/c I also felt that ppl wouldn't buy stuff from the registry. When I told my cousin to register for her wedding, a lot of my family members were quick to say ' we are not accustomed to do those type of things' 'No es nuestra costumbre'. Uggh I hate hearing that phrase. I know i am going to be hearing that a lot once my family hears where my wedding is going to be. But in the end it's your wedding, and if ur mother in law doesn't want to give you a gift then oh well i'm sure others will give you. It's your day and your wedding and you should have what you want .. something 'fuera de la costumbre!' I am already mentally preparing myself to not even get 1/2 of the $$ i'm spending on my wedding in wedding gifts. My mom is slowly letting ppl know that they should bring an envelope with $$ as a gift. But i have a feeling ppl are going to be strolling in with toasters and other appliances

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YES chica! I know!!!!
See that is what I am fearing too!

You know? to be honest, I DONT CARE WHAT our Culture/Traditions are because If i am following Salvadorian tradition, I would ahve Gotten mysefl pregnant, live with Luis, W/o being engaged or thinkgin of wedding yet...
and I DONT WANT THAT!!!
I am sort of 'Americanize' lol if u can say it...
I hate that frase too 'No, Nosotros no hacemos esto' WELL I DONT CARE, THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING SO DEAL WITH IT, Right?

Ay Dios Mio! Que complicado!!!


Couple of months ago my FMIL said she will rbing us as our wedding present a Cookware set... I was like... Noo that is our Bridal party gift.. Shes like 'No, mi regalo sera eso porque eso hacemos nosotros'
I DONT CAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To my Eparty, (i know some ppl say that u dont have to give gifts at teh Eparty... not sure if its true or not) but Couples OR families will come and give us a $20 in a envelop!
A couple gave us A CUP!!!!!!!! A REG CUP!!!!
A family of six ( and we only invated the couple) gave us $20!! I was like

I dont understand sometimes....
Why couldnt u just at least 'LEARN' be aware of American Cultures/Traditions bc We are here in teh US!!!

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Trust me!!! I totally get where you are coming from!!!!!! Besides me being the 'obeja negra' i'm also the most untraditional in my family. Y la 'creida' b/c I got a great job, my own apt and a car. My thing is this, we came to this country to BETTER our life not settle for less. and b/c I chose to better my life and not settle for less I am referred to as a 'creida' or a 'fresa' cuz thats the term us mexicans use. It's crazy. The good thing about all this is that mother supports all my wedding decisions and she will be the first to put her family in their place!!!! I'm not being the traditional mexican bride asking for padrinos for everything! FH and I are working our butts off to pay off this wedding so everyone can have a good time with NO padrinos!!!! NO help so nobody has a say in nothing i want to do. I'm here if you need to vent b/c trust me I know exactly what u going thru and I haven't even gotten there just yet but I know i will soon.

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Posted by smilesjc81

awww V I am so sorry

and I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND

It's a cultural thing.

Like I had to warn the hispanic people coming to my wedding NOT TO WEAR WHITE, in America it's looked down upon to upstage the bride, but hispanic people dont know that.

I dont want my American guest to think they my Hispanic guests are being rude... it's just not a big deal outside of American culture, and i had to warn them NO GIFTS TO THE WEDDING only money ( but that in fact is a New York thing more than anything)

I can understand you are upset, but it's not that they are trying to be mean to you...it's plain cultural ignorance.

I don't wanna just brush you off and say 'try and be happy' cause I know it sucks,There things going on in my wedding that are breaking my heart too

BUT BUT BUT nena try with all your heart to look on the bright side. Be grateful to papa Dios for all you do have.

There is no wrong or right way to celebrate a wedding... every culture is different ... sadly sometimes... ignorance is bliss ...

If you didnt know the american way, this wouldnt upset you so much.


I hope you get a wonderful shower, and your are just so touch by whatever you do get your heart is filled with joy!!
YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON VERONICA
I know that you will show them how gracious and appreciative you are for whatever effort they show.

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Posted by VCanizalez

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Posted by JRT5412

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Posted by VCanizalez

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Posted by JRT5412

Veronica I totally feel you on this. My wedding is the first wedding in my family and FH's family that is going to be in a catering hall. I wasn't planning on registering b/c I also felt that ppl wouldn't buy stuff from the registry. When I told my cousin to register for her wedding, a lot of my family members were quick to say ' we are not accustomed to do those type of things' 'No es nuestra costumbre'. Uggh I hate hearing that phrase. I know i am going to be hearing that a lot once my family hears where my wedding is going to be. But in the end it's your wedding, and if ur mother in law doesn't want to give you a gift then oh well i'm sure others will give you. It's your day and your wedding and you should have what you want .. something 'fuera de la costumbre!' I am already mentally preparing myself to not even get 1/2 of the $$ i'm spending on my wedding in wedding gifts. My mom is slowly letting ppl know that they should bring an envelope with $$ as a gift. But i have a feeling ppl are going to be strolling in with toasters and other appliances

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YES chica! I know!!!!
See that is what I am fearing too!

You know? to be honest, I DONT CARE WHAT our Culture/Traditions are because If i am following Salvadorian tradition, I would ahve Gotten mysefl pregnant, live with Luis, W/o being engaged or thinkgin of wedding yet...
and I DONT WANT THAT!!!
I am sort of 'Americanize' lol if u can say it...
I hate that frase too 'No, Nosotros no hacemos esto' WELL I DONT CARE, THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING SO DEAL WITH IT, Right?

Ay Dios Mio! Que complicado!!!


Couple of months ago my FMIL said she will rbing us as our wedding present a Cookware set... I was like... Noo that is our Bridal party gift.. Shes like 'No, mi regalo sera eso porque eso hacemos nosotros'
I DONT CAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To my Eparty, (i know some ppl say that u dont have to give gifts at teh Eparty... not sure if its true or not) but Couples OR families will come and give us a $20 in a envelop!
A couple gave us A CUP!!!!!!!! A REG CUP!!!!
A family of six ( and we only invated the couple) gave us $20!! I was like

I dont understand sometimes....
Why couldnt u just at least 'LEARN' be aware of American Cultures/Traditions bc We are here in teh US!!!

---

Trust me!!! I totally get where you are coming from!!!!!! Besides me being the 'obeja negra' i'm also the most untraditional in my family. Y la 'creida' b/c I got a great job, my own apt and a car. My thing is this, we came to this country to BETTER our life not settle for less. and b/c I chose to better my life and not settle for less I am referred to as a 'creida' or a 'fresa' cuz thats the term us mexicans use. It's crazy. The good thing about all this is that mother supports all my wedding decisions and she will be the first to put her family in their place!!!! I'm not being the traditional mexican bride asking for padrinos for everything! FH and I are working our butts off to pay off this wedding so everyone can have a good time with NO padrinos!!!! NO help so nobody has a say in nothing i want to do. I'm here if you need to vent b/c trust me I know exactly what u going thru and I haven't even gotten there just yet but I know i will soon.

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Yes! THAT..EXACTLY!
OMG I cnat believe WE experience the SAME THINGS!!!
Im the first one the graduate from the U.. Well i got an associate degree but now I am 'Creida' & 'Me la pico' porque fue a la U...
NO I DONT.. Just like u said, we came here to BETTTER ourselves!
We are not having Padrinos paying for or wedding either!!!
My paretns are helpig us and then my FH and I are paying for it too!!!
What's with the 'Padrino de Anillos, De pastel, dela musica, de los lazos' OMG TOO MUCH! I ddint want to follow that either!!!!

Oh WOW! We have each other to vent bc we are both 'Fresas' bc we came here to try to better ourselves and once we do it then we are the outsiders rit?

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Posted by JRT5412
Yup exactly!!! ' Nos creemos' b/c we want to better ourselves. And if you knew me personally I am soo not like that. I never talk about my job, how much $$ i make or things I buy ... NADA. I keep my personal life to myself. But my success is envied by a lot of my cousins. And that makes me sad b/c we are suppose to be family and support each other. NOT criticize or judge. But en fin .. ni modos i just pray for them and hope that one day they find their true happiness so they can let me live.

All my cousins who have gotten married I have been a madrina for something plus I have been in their bridal party. Now that it's my wedding my mother wants me to ask for those things in return by asking them to be padrinos, but I told her I dont want to b/c this is my wedding and i want things done a certain way and I want to book my vendors and not just get what ppl can provide me with. Now if they offer to give me something as a gift, then thats different but for me to ask them .. i dont want to. My parents are also giving us a good chunk of $$ and the rest is all me and FH. He is working really hard right now for the wedding that is still more than a year away but he wants us to be good financially now and after the wedding.

Hang in there girl!!! I'm sure in the end your shower will be great!!! Invite me to the shower and i'll get you a gift from your registry LOL un abrazo!!!

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Posted by JRT5412

Como decimos los mexicanos .. 'orale pues' lol. That's if i even have a bridal shower! i'm still undecided if i want one or not

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Posted by VCanizalez

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Posted by JRT5412

Como decimos los mexicanos .. 'orale pues' lol. That's if i even have a bridal shower! i'm still undecided if i want one or not

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Orale pues

Que lo haga!! lol...

Well if not, Then We have one for ourselves lol

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