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U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Original post by VCanizalez

When I read about Your Registry & bridal Showers.....

Because I have a feeling how mine will be.. I am praying that I am wrong but... I dunno....

I know FH and I will registry but i will say only like 20% of the wedding guest know what a Wedding Registry is or a Bridal Shower....
The rest of the people dont... and I try to talk about it with some guest and they look at me n said 'Wait, so we gotta buy U gifts and more gifts to the wedding?' (including FMIL )

I am SOOO excited to Registry with Fh.. But I am expecting being dissapointed when I go to my bridal shower and know that of the 30 women i (so far) have in the list, only 15 show up and i dont get gifts bc ppl will be like 'Well im giving u one at the wedding'... or be like 'heres ur wedding present ok?'

Remember I told yuo my mom's boss is throwing me my Bridal shower? (THANK GOD for her!)Well she is planning right now a bar mitzvah for her daughter... So we are not doing anythign regarding my BS... So she said She will do it a weekend day (sat or sun) Either end of June or anyweeken in July... So i feel so HAPPY & BLESSED bc of that...
So now, When i was talking to my FMIL about this she said
Her- 'So, This party we have to go in June/July we have to go to a store you tell us and buy the gifts you want?'
Me- 'Yes Suegra (Mother in law) that is how its done! then we have fun and play games'
Her- 'Ohh... and then you also want a gift at ur wedding right?'
Me- 'I guess that this is how its done...'
Her- ' I dunno if I can afford that or the guest, but we will see...... Oh By the way If you have that party at the time I am on Vacation, probably a weekend of June/July, I dont think I can make it since I will be going on vacation with my husband.'
Me- (acting like normal but feeling MAD n HURT inside) 'ohh... Ok.. I am not sure what day since she is throwing me everything for free'...

SO THIS IS MY LIFE...

This is WHY i get sad when I read ur LOVELY & GREAT Stories about your Registries & Bridal Shower.....


Love U girls!


VCanizalez Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Posted by Lana and Johan

First of all I am sorry you are sad Chicka. This should be a happy time for you. When dealing with cultural differences, I know how you feel.

I know what you mean about different traditions and cultures. I am going through the same thing with FIL's as well and feel your pain. FSIL's don't get why we are having a big wedding and 'wasting $$'. To them you live with the guy, have babies and that's it....hes ur hubby. Doesn't work like that with me!!!!

I am not having a bridal shower :( or an E-Party. Sadly my ILs did not offer to help out and my parents can't help with it all :(


Where is ur FMIL from?
See that is what i am saying!
I dont want the whole 'Move in with him and have babies'
NOOO!!!
She gave me the same reason when we told them we are spending $10,000 in our Rh!!! She was like 'OH Wow you guys ahve money then.. since u are out spending it like that' Im liek WHAT?? u kiddin gme rit?!!
Lana and Johan Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

My inlaws are dominican and I am not saying everyone is like that cause I know some girls who have had beautiful showers and parties, but it's not the norm for them :(

evita2781 Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

aww V - don't be sad. You'll never know how it'll turn out. Maybe whoever is planning it will let the others know how this works.
VCanizalez Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Posted by evita2781

aww V - don't be sad. You'll never know how it'll turn out. Maybe whoever is planning it will let the others know how this works.


No... she will not!!!
Stephanie (The lady who wil give me the Shower) will not tell ppl bc she doesnt knwo them!!!!!!!
she doesnt know ANY of my wedding guest.... except for mom...
She told me to get the list ready and after her daughter BM, we will talk about the dates....

VCanizalez Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Posted by Lana and Johan

My inlaws are dominican and I am not saying everyone is like that cause I know some girls who have had beautiful showers and parties, but it's not the norm for them :(


See? It must be something with Spanish Fam then... I knwo NOT all of them but MANY of the,!
GlitterBox24 Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

In dominican republic they do have shower BUT the gift you give at the shower is considered the wedding gift. My moms famly only recently came to the us so we have to explain to them that its diff here. My dads fam came here 30 years ago so they have it straight.

ImgonnabeMrsC Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

either way its YOUR day and YOUR shower, dont let that stuff make you upset! CELEBRATE your new life and appreciate that they are there for you! =) you'll have a blast and you never know if they are just hiding something from you!

legalchef Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Posted by sjr385

Nope, not because I wouldn't want a shower. I won't have a shower because -- like some of the other girls have said -- Jews usually don't have showers. It's not our cultural tradition, even though I'm definitely American.


Really? I've never heard of this at all, except maybe for the Orthodox.
adelya21 Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

it depends on what kind of jewish they are meaning from what countries. russian jews do--for example its tradition for the FH's family to shower the bride but now a days that includes guests. I think showers are traditionally an 'american' tradition. I could be wrong.

sorry V!!! I hope they do surprise u!!!
Posted by VCanizalez

Posted by foundmylove

awww im sorry
it sucks because every religion has different things that they do for weddings.

Im jewish and my mother said jews dont have showers and my moms not inviting anyone to the shower cus she doesnt want to make it like they have to give a shower gift and a wedding gift
but my fh is greek and they do have showers.


Jewish dont do Showers???
the lady whos giving me a shower is Jewish...

LoveyDovey Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

VVVV

just try to think positive and be happy and grateful for the little things

you will still have a shower, people may not come with gifts but you will still have a nice day with family and friends, games, food, etc!!!

Maybe the person throwing the shower can put a little saying in the invite about bridal showers, something light, like a poem
Ang9483 Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

My Hubbys side NEVERRRRRR goes to weddings like this or bridal showers they are mostly frome ecuador so they have never been to a wedding like what I am planning. Most of them don't even have wedding rings. My MIL and FIL are telling that whole side that they need to bring cash no gifts to the wedding my FIL tells one of my hubbys uncle that he needs to bring $100 a person or dont come ( he says b,c this guy can be shady free food and be cheap when he can afford it) lol. I am just hoping that they show up on time and not late. I am most concerned about this because they come hours late tooo everything. I told him he better warn them. I might hire a security guard to kick out any late comers Bridezilla is sooo coming out for that nonsense
VCanizalez Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Posted by ImgonnabeMrsC

either way its YOUR day and YOUR shower, dont let that stuff make you upset! CELEBRATE your new life and appreciate that they are there for you! =) you'll have a blast and you never know if they are just hiding something from you! <33


Thansk chica!!!
I am trying but tis hard....

and trust me I WISH i sooo wish THEY would be HIDING everything but reality is that theyare not.
My mom doesnt know anything bout Showers... My MIL neither...
Stephanie doesnt know my wedding guest...
merbride Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

VCanizalez Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Posted by LoveyDovey

VVVV

just try to think positive and be happy and grateful for the little things

you will still have a shower, people may not come with gifts but you will still have a nice day with family and friends, games, food, etc!!!

Maybe the person throwing the shower can put a little saying in the invite about bridal showers, something light, like a poem


Yeah thanks Chica!
I was thinking of telling my FMIL and the she will foward the info to her sisters (since may ppl who doesnt know is from HIS fam)...
Yeah maybe i can like pring something little and include it.

The only single thing that scares me in spanish is called 'despedida de Soltera' whihc if we translate that is the Bachelorette party lol!!!
Like i can translate in Spanish a poem like this
To also give them teh idea...

Soon they'll be married, their commitment expressed,
living and loving in their very own nest.
True, it may not be Paris or Rome,
but come: let's help make their new house, a home!


Thanks chica!
foundmylove Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

at least your getting to marry the love of your life!!!
VCanizalez Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Posted by Ang9483

My Hubbys side NEVERRRRRR goes to weddings like this or bridal showers they are mostly frome ecuador so they have never been to a wedding like what I am planning. Most of them don't even have wedding rings. My MIL and FIL are telling that whole side that they need to bring cash no gifts to the wedding my FIL tells one of my hubbys uncle that he needs to bring $100 a person or dont come ( he says b,c this guy can be shady free food and be cheap when he can afford it) lol. I am just hoping that they show up on time and not late. I am most concerned about this because they come hours late tooo everything. I told him he better warn them. I might hire a security guard to kick out any late comers Bridezilla is sooo coming out for that nonsense


I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY ARE SPANISH PPL LIKE THAT?!!!!!!!
Im telling u ppl are like that!
they go late!!! My Eparty was at 1:00, ppl got there at 2!!!
Some ppl gave me $20 for the eparty hahahahal....

Lol Bridezilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
madamsireeda213 Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

I'm sorry hun I had to explain what a bridal shower was to my mom as well. She said something similar like 'So we give you a gift at the shower and at the wedding?' And I was like, Yeah to which she also said 'You think people can afford that' And I respond by saying, not everyone has to go to the bridal shower. I'm only inviting family and friends who I am really close to. Anyone who doesnt want to come to the shower doesnt have to, and they can reserve their gift for the wedding. After that my mom got it and was all gung ho about planning it with my sister and my friends.

The way I like to explain it to somepeople (getting gifts at bridal shower and getting gifts at your wedding)is, if I was having a baby, everyone will probably go to my baby shower and then when I have the baby, people will send me congratulation cards with money in it. So whats the difference? I think i need as much monetary help and as many gifts as if i was having a kid!

No worries hun, you will have a fabulous time at your shower, even if its only a small group of people. At least you know they all love you!
VCanizalez Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Posted by madamsireeda213

I'm sorry hun I had to explain what a bridal shower was to my mom as well. She said something similar like 'So we give you a gift at the shower and at the wedding?' And I was like, Yeah to which she also said 'You think people can afford that' And I respond by saying, not everyone has to go to the bridal shower. I'm only inviting family and friends who I am really close to. Anyone who doesnt want to come to the shower doesnt have to, and they can reserve their gift for the wedding. After that my mom got it and was all gung ho about planning it with my sister and my friends.

The way I like to explain it to somepeople (getting gifts at bridal shower and getting gifts at your wedding)is, if I was having a baby, everyone will probably go to my baby shower and then when I have the baby, people will send me congratulation cards with money in it. So whats the difference? I think i need as much monetary help and as many gifts as if i was having a kid!

No worries hun, you will have a fabulous time at your shower, even if its only a small group of people. At least you know they all love you!



Thank u chica!
its soooo complicated!
Yes...
I will try again to explain later on (like in 2months) maybe i get better luck that time!

Thanks
JRT5412 Posted:

Re: U make me sad =-( But I am still GLAD for all of U!

Veronica I totally feel you on this. My wedding is the first wedding in my family and FH's family that is going to be in a catering hall. I wasn't planning on registering b/c I also felt that ppl wouldn't buy stuff from the registry. When I told my cousin to register for her wedding, a lot of my family members were quick to say ' we are not accustomed to do those type of things' 'No es nuestra costumbre'. Uggh I hate hearing that phrase. I know i am going to be hearing that a lot once my family hears where my wedding is going to be. But in the end it's your wedding, and if ur mother in law doesn't want to give you a gift then oh well i'm sure others will give you. It's your day and your wedding and you should have what you want .. something 'fuera de la costumbre!' I am already mentally preparing myself to not even get 1/2 of the $$ i'm spending on my wedding in wedding gifts. My mom is slowly letting ppl know that they should bring an envelope with $$ as a gift. But i have a feeling ppl are going to be strolling in with toasters and other appliances

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