FH just called me and asked me if it was too late to elope. Apparently his parents are super p*ssed that their names aren't on the invitations. I totally understand them wanting to be named, but FH decided he didn't want to include them because his mom is really his step mom (his real mom died when he was 4) and he didn't want to say he was their son when he would be leaving out his real mom. Anyway, it's too late now, so I guess the FILs are going to have to get over it, but I feel really bad about it and I know FH is really upset too.
Any suggestions on how to deal with this, other than ordering new invitations? I'm so upset - I told FH to make sure it was ok before we ordered! ARG!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for all of your advice. I felt really badly that FILs were upset because they are always so good to us. We talked to them about FH's concern and they said we should just put 'son of Mr. and Mrs. ...' which could be either his real mom or his step mom. We found out that we could just order the invite card so it wouldn't be too expensive and it should be done in time, so we reordered. Everyone is happy now.
Jayla127
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Re: Ugh! FILs are P*SSED!
I can see how your fh's dad and stepmother would feel if they are paying for some aspect of the wedding. But, on the other hand you only have one mother and no one could ever replace that. I totally respect your fh's reasoning behind this. And, like the girls said his father and ESPECIALLY his stepmother she respect this without any resentment.
jlovesa
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Re: Ugh! FILs are P*SSED! Update
Posted by Kristina2009
We are paying on our own (with generous small things coming from my parents that we just learned about - shower, dress, a generous wedding gift).
We put
With together their parents, Mr. and Mrs. A and Mr. and Mrs, B K and M invite ypu
FH also did not want to list his parents names but I felt bad. It does bug me a little that our parents seem to be getting credit for throwing the party but in the end I don't want to offend anyone and better that than hurt feelings. I know that my parents would help if I could not afford it.
Since they are contributing - I would see if you can just reprint the main invite card. If you ordered from a book you should have time. Honestly, I would probably be upset if I were them as it is the right thing to list them if they are paying. If reordering is not an option maybe a thank you speech to them at the wedding letting everyone know this wedding would not be possible without their generosity, etc.
Thanks for this - we didn't even think about being able to only reprint the invite card. That's what we ended up doing.
sharivera
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Re: Ugh! FILs are P*SSED! Update
We just put our names on the invite...our mothers gave us a little bit of help..but we figured this was the easiest way..they both were fine with it..
I'm glad you were able to work through your situation. IMHO - i think some parents get caught up in the whole wedding thing, as if it is THEIR wedding...I'm lucky that our mothers are involved and helping with the planning but haven't lost sight of the fact that it's OUR wedding and ultimately the decisions are ours.
dutchessev
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Re: Ugh! FILs are P*SSED! Update
YAY!
problem solved.
Jess and Jon
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Re: Ugh! FILs are P*SSED! Update
awww good to hear!!!
JoesFutureWife
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Re: Ugh! FILs are P*SSED! Update
Sorry to crash...im really happy you decided to include your in laws on your invite. I know nowadays we say 'whoever pays for the wedding goes on the invite.' Fact is it can also be considered a notion of respect. In our case my parents paid for our RH, our huge engagement party, my entire shower, my dress and everything i wore on the day of and more...we paid for our vendors and dh's mom helped with the flowers. Dh's father didnt give us a dime, at all. We did include all parents names on the invites because it was simply just something we felt we should do. Regardless of the money, they are still our parents and without them, we wouldnt be here getting married. This choice isnt for everyone but i am happy you were able to find a solution that worked for everyone.
