Uncooperative BM

I chose one of my cousins as a bridesmaid, thougnh I know her personality can be a handful. I figured we were close.........so why not. I wasn't sure if she would have enough money so I said, 'I would love for you to be in my bridal party, but I don't want to make you poor either..........lol. If it's going to be to expensive, I would understand if you declined ( I didn't want to make her feel obligated to do it either). So she says yes and I end up helping her pay for part of her dress. No big deal, I did not care.

So I send out voicemails and an email to the girls to let them know I thought of dying the shoes to match the dress. I asked them to call me if they thought this would be a problem. If I didn't hear from them, I was presuming that all was good. I also said they could pick any style shoe they wanted and recommended a bunch of places to go dye the shoe and then take it back for free to have the shoes dyed to black after the wedding if they chose to.

After trying to call my cousin many times (she doesn't drive) to see what day I could take her to go get shoes. She never returns any of my phonecalls. I have also learned from people that she has done nothing to help the bridal party with anything (i'm not getting involved w/ that because my MOH can handle her). So, she's online this morning and I ask her about the shoes. She goes, 'I already got a pair of silvery blue ones that don't need to be dyed and match the dress perfectly'. All I asked was how does she know if they match perfect when her dress is stored at my house and she has no swatch to match it. So she gets off of AIM and avoids all my phone calls.

I feel like paying her back the money for the dress and asking someone else to be in my wedding party at this point, because she won't even talk about a pair of )&*$& shoes

Am I wrong to feel this way? I really haven't cared up until this point what the girls did, except for the fact that I was very accommodating when I made my request and she does her own thing anyway. She's avoiding me, so I can't even find out if it was a misunderstanding by talking to her. Mind you I'm 25 and she's a few years older than me. I feel like I'm in HS again.

Sorry so long.........vent over!

Update!
Still no change. I thought of asking her not to be in the bridal party because SHE STILL IS AVOIDING ME! I would pay her the money for the dress, but then if I were to ask someone else it would be weird. I'm so frustrated because its not even like she is giving me the time of day to speak to her............what can I do?