hes being a huge ARSE!!!!!!!! he let me know last night that he REFUSES to wear a wedding band to work. he's a police officer in south jamica and he claims that he will be the only one wearing a wedding band cuz 'you know meg if i upset a hoodlum he gets my name off my name tag looks me up in the computer then comes to KILL YOU!' mind you this arguement went on in a resturant i was so hurt and upset i started to cry and he told me i just dont know what its like to be a police officers wife and i need to understand. but i just DONT UNDERSTAND thats the dumbest thing ive ever HEARD... then he said ' fine ill wear it and i hope you live and they dont come to kill you' i was soooo crushed when he said that! HOW COULD ANYONE SAY THAT???? non of the guys he hangs out with wear their wedding bands but i have my own theory behind that but am i overreacting??? or would you be hurt also??? my come back was well then im not wearing my E-Ring cuz thats a symbol to the world that i have a fiance and he got all pissed. but i feel that its the same thing! please help!
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by MJDoc12
that is such B.S.!!! its a personal choice -- and he should just SAY that its his choice instead of tryign to say that its what 'cops do'
yes there are a lot of cops who don't wear their wedding bands---BUT there are just as many who DO!
tell your FH that he's using a 'cop out' (pun intended) cause my DH works in the exact same area--in south jamaica and he has not taken his wedding band off since the day i put it on his finger!!!!!!
ETA: oh and SHAME on him for trying to manipulate your feelings and being all passive agressive with his guilt trip. 'fine i'll wear it but i hope they don't come after you and kill you' seriously -- its like once they put on the uniform they have to be all dramatic!
i mean he has to be a smart guy---a hoodlum can look up his last name ONLY on a computer -- like they are going to know when 600 ppl with the same last name come up--who he is--and then say 'okay i gotta go to his house and beat up his wife' like i said--this is just his excuse --- he doesn't want to tell you that he just doesn't want to wear it!
THANK YOU!!! this is exactly how i feel!!!! i appriciate your comment!!! and it makes me feel better that im not CRAZY!
Mici n KC
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
He's being retarded. My uncle was a correction's officer in Rikers and he always wore his wedding band.
DGoldfarb0776
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
My FH is almost the same way - he won't be wearing the wedding band at work because it might be messed up with the machinery that he works with. I understand and told him that he better wear it when he's not at work ..or else!
MeaganAndJoeC
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
i just sat here and read every one of the posts, to be honest I can see both sides of the argument. I think im going to side with he should wear the ring. My FH and I had this argument bc he choose a really expensive wedding band that he diidn't want to wear to work. So my reply was get a less expensive one for work I dont mind buying it. Now he understands that ring is on his hand at all times.
Mrs. V 2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
I'm sorry your upset..i would be also! and i agree with tilde..can he wear it on his neck
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by AMGBride2008
Meg, i wouldn't let it bother you... it's just a ring. And truthfully, he makes an excellent point. I have a friend who's a cop in Brownsville (God help him) and he doesn't wear his wedding band either. The important thing is that he comes home SAFE every single night to his wife, band or no band.
this is the exact reason i almost dont want to argue it to death! b/c the ring isnt the most improtant thing its him coming home safe! but its just an annoyance!
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
to everyone...
thank you all for responding i really appriciate it! im just glad im not alone with wanting FH to wear his ring but also understand if they dont!
Butterfly123
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Sounds like your FH watches too many episodes of CSI or Law and Order.
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by Songstress1212
Sounds like your FH watches too many episodes of CSI or Law and Order.
Snowflake08
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
hi megan my ex fiancee of 7 years is a nypd officer i will tell you that it is actually the only piece of jewelry they are technically 'allowed' to wear, but the dept. really does not like them wearing ANY jewelry
i know it is upsetting
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by Snowflake08
hi megan my ex fiancee of 7 years is a nypd officer i will tell you that it is actually the only piece of jewelry they are technically 'allowed' to wear, but the dept. really does not like them wearing ANY jewelry
i know it is upsetting
see now if he would have put it that way.. i would have been ok with it! or even if he lied and said that i would be ok with it! but the fact that he was being hurtfull and nasty was the problem!
Snowflake08
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
i hear ya im sorry
TakingtheLongWay
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Hey Meg, don't worry. Two things to add to this convo...after FH graduated the academy it took him about a year to come back to reality with his inflated ego...second, my FH gave me the same rationale for not wearing his ring, he said that perps will mess with their minds and talk crap about their wives and families if they see the cops wearing a ring. Right now, I could give a rats asss if FH wears his ring because he is being such a jerk tonight. So, bottom line is, you're not alone!!!
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by TakingtheLongWay
Hey Meg, don't worry. Two things to add to this convo...after FH graduated the academy it took him about a year to come back to reality with his inflated ego...second, my FH gave me the same rationale for not wearing his ring, he said that perps will mess with their minds and talk crap about their wives and families if they see the cops wearing a ring. Right now, I could give a rats asss if FH wears his ring because he is being such a jerk tonight. So, bottom line is, you're not alone!!!
thanks needed that!
jgl
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Meg - i think that is BS! and tell him that! i dont understand guys who dont wear it (when its not a saftely issue like getting it caught in a machine)
Maybe he just doesnt want to be the only one to be wearing it. cops can get nasty and tease each other and maybethat is what he is concerned about.
Id make him wear it haha
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by jgl
Meg - i think that is BS! and tell him that! i dont understand guys who dont wear it (when its not a saftely issue like getting it caught in a machine)
Maybe he just doesnt want to be the only one to be wearing it. cops can get nasty and tease each other and maybethat is what he is concerned about.
Id make him wear it haha
hoenslty i wouldnt even care if he put it on to walk out the door then took it off for his tour then put it back on to come home! hahah i know it sounds pointless but at least i feel like he cares!
jgl
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by Soon2BMrsD
Posted by jgl
Meg - i think that is BS! and tell him that! i dont understand guys who dont wear it (when its not a saftely issue like getting it caught in a machine)
Maybe he just doesnt want to be the only one to be wearing it. cops can get nasty and tease each other and maybethat is what he is concerned about.
Id make him wear it haha
hoenslty i wouldnt even care if he put it on to walk out the door then took it off for his tour then put it back on to come home! hahah i know it sounds pointless but at least i feel like he cares!
i hear ya!! i told FH he has no choice haha..
LCnAC
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
I have to reply to this one cause Im a PO myself...I wont wear my ring when im on patrol for both safety reasons and because I dont want perps to know my business. I also had my address and car registration changed to a PO box.
snwb08
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by jenn122397
i totally agree with you! i dont know if this will make you feel better but my friend is a cop (undercover) and doesnt wear hers because she did wear it once and had to chase someone over a fence and almost lost her finger because it got stuck. i would be upset if my husbnad didnt wear his ring
okay, so my bro in law doesn't and hasn't worn his ring in 9 years - he's a cop and always says it's an occupational hazard and he could lose his finger if it gets caught some where! so i'm glad you posted that (not glad that you're friend almost lost her finger of coure!) b/c i always sort of believed him but sort of thought he was full of it.
it really is a personal preference. I only get annoyed at my BIL when he tries to tell FH not to wear a ring - then he's just being a jerk like it's sooo much cooler to not wear a wrong. we haven't even talked about it but FH has no excuse b/c 1. he's a lawyer and 2. he wore a thumb ring when i met him so if he can wear THAT he can wear his wedding ring.
AmorPeruano
Posted:
Member since
Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
I understand how you feel and I hate to say this, but I think your FH may have a point I've been dealing with this very thing for 3 years now; FH is also an officer in Queens. He hasn't worn his engagement ring in a very very long time. Its for safety issues; you have to realize perps will take any information they can possibly get...and they would love having personal information on your FH, even if its that hes married and they will verbally taunt him about it the entire time he has to deal with them. Its bad enough that he has to deal with drug dealers, rapists, child molesters, robbers, murders on a daily basis...I guess he just doesn't want them to know any of his personal business b/c that would be considered a weak or vunerable spot for them to to pick on.
Bottom line is, if you trust him, it doesnt really matter if he has a ring on to show his status; hes not gonna do anything to hurt you, no matter how many chicks think hes single and approach him.
