hes being a huge ARSE!!!!!!!! he let me know last night that he REFUSES to wear a wedding band to work. he's a police officer in south jamica and he claims that he will be the only one wearing a wedding band cuz 'you know meg if i upset a hoodlum he gets my name off my name tag looks me up in the computer then comes to KILL YOU!' mind you this arguement went on in a resturant i was so hurt and upset i started to cry and he told me i just dont know what its like to be a police officers wife and i need to understand. but i just DONT UNDERSTAND thats the dumbest thing ive ever HEARD... then he said ' fine ill wear it and i hope you live and they dont come to kill you' i was soooo crushed when he said that! HOW COULD ANYONE SAY THAT???? non of the guys he hangs out with wear their wedding bands but i have my own theory behind that but am i overreacting??? or would you be hurt also??? my come back was well then im not wearing my E-Ring cuz thats a symbol to the world that i have a fiance and he got all pissed. but i feel that its the same thing! please help!
lwny427
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by Soon2BMrsD
Posted by tiff940
I dont know. I dont think a hoodlum is going to pick up his ring and go that far to look you up. But at the same time we also dont think like hoodlums!!! You know, we cant understand it because we are not criminals and dont think like they think. So while he might have a point, we just arent going to get it. As long as he puts it on AS SOON as he gets off of work then I wouldnt stress it. But he better come though that door with it on when he gets home! LOL.
you know i guess your right!!! thank you!!! see the thing is.. the a few of the guys ihave met go out after work with OUT their weddings bands on and it really erks me i just feel like its disrespectful to their wives
Cops definitely have a tendancy to go out after work for a few drinks (and sometimes do so without filling their wives in on the fact that they are going out for a few drinks). Which, in their line of work is definitely needed sometimes at the end of the day. Ring better be on his finger at that time....unless he's worried about hoodlums frequenting the same bars as him.
Annoulak
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
i don't see the connection between someone knowing that he is or isn't married...they can still look up his name from his name tag and go after his parents or siblings...have they gone after any other family memebers in the past??
Soon2BMrsD
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Posted by Annoulak
i don't see the connection between someone knowing that he is or isn't married...they can still look up his name and go after his parents or siblings...have they gone after any other family memebers in the past??
this is exactly part of my arguement!!!! and i swear if you search his name 5million people come up! hahaha
hannahshim
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
if you look at it from the positive prospective at least hes doing it for your protection.. but then again how often does something like that happen?? and also I bet there are ALOT of other ways of finding out he has a wife.. so if someone IS trying to get him you probably wont be hard to find..... (ughhhh that sounds pretty scary...) or is it just me
MJDoc12
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
that is such B.S.!!! its a personal choice -- and he should just SAY that its his choice instead of tryign to say that its what 'cops do'
yes there are a lot of cops who don't wear their wedding bands---BUT there are just as many who DO!
tell your FH that he's using a 'cop out' (pun intended) cause my DH works in the exact same area--in south jamaica and he has not taken his wedding band off since the day i put it on his finger!!!!!!
ETA: oh and SHAME on him for trying to manipulate your feelings and being all passive agressive with his guilt trip. 'fine i'll wear it but i hope they don't come after you and kill you' seriously -- its like once they put on the uniform they have to be all dramatic!
i mean he has to be a smart guy---a hoodlum can look up his last name ONLY on a computer -- like they are going to know when 600 ppl with the same last name come up--who he is--and then say 'okay i gotta go to his house and beat up his wife' like i said--this is just his excuse --- he doesn't want to tell you that he just doesn't want to wear it!
Autumn08
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
My FH said he didn't want to wear his wedding band because he was left handed. What is it with men? LOL
As for the medical field, I had the prongs rounded on my e-ring and I have no problems wearing it to work. And as a nursing assistant we wear gloves alot!!!!!! It has never once made it more difficult to put a glove on or rip a glove. If so I wouldn't wear my ring where bedpans are involved.
bemyyoko
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
none of the cops i know where their weddings bands at work. my brother was a cop, i assure you he was not cheating on his wife. he was a cop in a 'not so great' part of Nassau County and he and his partner had a similar fear.
I will also tell you, not to scare you or anything, but more than once they had to change their phone number b/c someone he arrested figured out where he lived and would call his wife and harass them.
I'm not saying that sort of thing happens a lot or anything... but it does happen.
bemyyoko
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
oh, and my FH won't be wearing his ring at work either. He works with chemicals and stuff and I can understand that. Besides, my dad never wore a wedding ring and he's never cheated on my mother.
I honestly think it's a fairly 'new' thing that women expect their man to wear one. I think it's great personally, men SHOULD wear it, otherwise what's the point? But i don't think anyone has ever thought my mother was having an affair just b/c she was wearing a ring and he wasn't.
Jessie062108
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
my friends husband is a cop and he never takes his off.
My fiance tried the Im not gonna wear it every day thing,...I said fine then you don't get one at all cuz Im not wasting money on a ring your not gonna wear...
PS...he's getting a custom made one now...go figure..lol
Soon2beAlberti
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
my FH doesn't want to wear a ring either BC he is a plumber and he says that wearing any jewelry is a hazard bc if any of the work equipment gets stuck on it he's losing a finger...which i totally understand but I told him he WILL wear it around his neck.
xXxNovember08xXx
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
its funny my dad Wears the weddign ring ALL the time.. my MOM doesnt.. lol
her rings fall off no matter how small u make it and it makes her real unconfortable at times....
as for FH... hes wearing his...
for u... i understand what he is talking about... but i also understand why you are upset...
its a toss up.... talk it over again with him.
catsgirl
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
my fh and i went through this as well, and i was so upset, so i asked my dad in front of him , daddy did you wear your wedding ring to work? he said yes, i havent taken it off since your mom put it there. and that was 48 yrs ago. and my dad was a boss in a coal mine for 39 yrs. and i feel if he could wear his ring there , fh could wear his doing wire and cable, i was so upset i accused him of not wanting his female customers to know hes married . so i feel your pain w/ this.
JimmysPants
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
I have many friends who are cops and they all wear their rings. To me there is no excuse in this situation.
FH is an electrician and he CANNOT wear any kind of metal to work especially any kind of jewelry just for safety reasons. I got upset at first but I do understand b/c his situation is life or death.
AMGBride2008
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Meg, i wouldn't let it bother you... it's just a ring. And truthfully, he makes an excellent point. I have a friend who's a cop in Brownsville (God help him) and he doesn't wear his wedding band either. The important thing is that he comes home SAFE every single night to his wife, band or no band.
SoontobeMrsMc
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
Men are stupid sometimes! I have plenty of police officer friends and 95% of the men in FH's family are cops *(including his deceased father)- they all wear their rings to work. But maybe your FH works in a different department and things are different there.
I have heard of guys wearing a regular every day ring to work and then wearing their nice band at home and when going out. But that's more bc they are afraid of getting it dirty or damaged.
KimmieC
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
MY FH is not a PO but he says he won't wear the wedding band after we get married because he just doesn't feel comfortable wearing jewlery. (he won't even wear a watch!). It doesn't really bother me - I think maybe because my father never wore one either. FH did say that if we go out somewhere he will wear it.....
DeannaNDave07
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
my FH is a police officer also.. he tells me he will wear his ring.. i know the whole precinct does.. i have never heard of that before .
KK Holiday
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
you have fm
jenn122397
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
i totally agree with you! i dont know if this will make you feel better but my friend is a cop (undercover) and doesnt wear hers because she did wear it once and had to chase someone over a fence and almost lost her finger because it got stuck. i would be upset if my husbnad didnt wear his ring
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: unhappy with my Police Officer... i mean FH
09er crashing.
My BIL is a PO and my FH is entering the academy. BIL does not wear it to work, but he does at home. He is just not comfortable (like, physically, it annoys him at work) with it. FH however, if he stays in the line of work he does, his finger could be crushed and with a ring on, . So our compromise is that he will get a tattooed wedding band. HTH.
