UPDATE: HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original post by PeteysBride

Jun 04, 2007 08:29 PM

Ok so here is the update to my aunt inviting four extra people without consulting FH and I first, bringing ehr total from 2 to 6...

I spoke to my aunt a few days ago and although I had a minor anxiety attack ahead of time, it went surprisingly well. i think because I caught her at the aiport at the time, she didn't have room to yell. however, the first words out of ehr mouth after our intial polite words was 'I got your invite and my son is coming.' there was emphasis placed on the 'my son.' I calmly said my rehearsed lines, stressing that we had had to cut out several people among our friends, not jsust our family sue to the small budget and she was silent for a long moment before she said, 'no problem. I'll tell my son.' Again emphasis on the son.

I felt horrible because I am a very sensitive person which is why I hide behind a razor wit and she was being so calm about it I almost burst out telling her it was ok to bring him. But then I remembered all the years they snubebd me and my mom and how I was not invited to their wedding and I smiled and said,' Thank for being understanding, Titi. See you at the wedding. Love you.' She said the same and we hung up.

Now... I spoke to my dad and he said he's just waiting for the call because we know there must be buzzing behind the scenes. He said there is the possibility of them saying they are coming and not coming, but we are planning a plan B-to enlist my Uncle Nelson's help. He is the youngest of the clan and lives with my aunt and has nNO qualms about calling her out. We know even if the others do not come, he will because he reserved before the STd was sent out lol.

So right now I feel a little better though still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Lots of worries including damn witch at the post office who didnt wnat to take my invites that day to drop em into the bucket(wanted me topush em through the slot and they were bending.) Anyway after some arguing, she took them but now, I've had about 10 people tell me they never got one and we've only recieved 20 responses out of 70 invites sent so we're worried. if its not one damn thing its another!

bellaro782 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 11:23 PM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow .. nothing surprises me with people.. thats insane.. I would have your father call or you call and say sorry No cousins were invited and if they come it will look bad to your other cousins not invited .. so Sorry they cant come... Thats sooo RUDE

GinaBambina08 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 11:30 PM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there's some in every family..

bellaro782 Posted: Jun 04, 2007 11:34 PM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by GinaBambina88

there's some in every family..

I have more the just some in My Family i have like 20

jsta76 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 12:05 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Dee606

oh boy... you need hugs

good luck!

I agree hugs are definetely needed. Sorry you have to go through this :(

hmpena Posted: Jun 05, 2007 12:31 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta love family.

PeteysBride Posted: Jun 05, 2007 06:30 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks guys. I knew I could count on the LI girls for some sanity! I have sooo tried not to be a bridezilla from getco; allowed BMs to pick their dresses and the colors, gave in and allowed FMIL to invite guests that shouldnt be on the list (but she gave some moola sooo), didn't have a meltdown when my dress was stained and have had repeated problems with it...etc. But this? As we would say in the daycare...Oh H-E-L-L no!'
I mean if they had called...not even then but still that would have been a better choice. But to CROSS out andrewrite a formal invitation?

My FMIL is getting the RSVP's at her place because we just moved into this apartment and she said we have some more waiting for us so let's see what happens...

chrispar Posted: Jun 05, 2007 06:42 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow I can't believe they did that. I don't think that you are being unreasonable at all in fact I completely agree with you! Let us know how it goes!

LBride Posted: Jun 05, 2007 07:00 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YIKES!! that's rough.... if htey didn't invite you to their wedding why should you invite them??? def. bring that up if they start defending themseilves

twinkle164 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 08:34 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are NOT wrong. Stick to your guns.

futuremrsfab Posted: Jun 05, 2007 08:49 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's my biggest fear too- good luck and let us know how it goes- i may need your advice for next year :)

SusiBtoM Posted: Jun 05, 2007 08:56 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy cow ! What a drama.
Stick to your guns and don't let them bring the whole gang when only one or two were invited.
I do feel bad for your dad, as you mentioned they are all from his side, but you have a budget to stick to.
Just tell these louts that if you wanted to invite the 'cousins' they would have received their own invitations.

How tacky can people get !

Mizzdimple Posted: Jun 05, 2007 09:20 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im expecting alot of that., meaning adding names to the invites., but thats just the way it is for FH and my family...thats what they do and I'm okay with it.

I would say for you to just explain that you are working on a budget and cross your fingers that they will understand.

On the flip side of your story., I was in a situation where my aunt (uncles's wife) was throwing him a surprise 50th bday party. The invite came with only my mother and father's name on it. Now my mom thought this was strange and called her and asked if Me and my sister was invited (we are in our mid twenties) She says NO KIDS, and that we werent in her budget. Um excuse me Im 25 years old! I was really offended that I was invited. My father refused to go and said 'If my kids are not invited , Im not going., and they havent spoken to each other since. On top of that my little cousins (8 years old) told me they were invited.

And this was my favorite uncle....and on top of it and similar to your story..they hate my mother.

So I felt horrible not being invited.

tiggsnme Posted: Jun 05, 2007 09:20 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are absolutely right! I think the way you plan to handle it is great and totally appropriate.

Best of luck and keep us posted!!!

FalNBill Posted: Jun 05, 2007 09:28 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow - well you need to tell them - im surrprised you havent already. If they cannot accept that you can only have the 2 of them there, then it's there loss! How dare they take it upon themselves to invite more peole. (and to do it with out asking grrrr!)

Well I hope everything works out. Please keep us posted

Smiles111 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 09:36 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

good for you!!

angl2001 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 10:21 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would say call them like you said and explain to them the budget and if they dont wana come then thats fine but you really can not afford for have these other guests at the last minute! I hope it all works out!

the future mrs m Posted: Jun 05, 2007 10:46 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I see nothing wrong w/ it escpecially since they didn't invite you to theirs.

CourtandJon Posted: Jun 05, 2007 11:42 AM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES, hold your ground!!! Thats soooo rude! I don't have THAT many cousins... but we are not inviting any kids.. and I have a feeling we will be in the same situation. FMIL feels that some OOT family might now come if their kids are not invited..BUT... NOT MY PROBLEM. Would love to have the adults there, but we made a rule of no kids a long time ago and we are not budging.

SylvieB Posted: Jun 05, 2007 12:20 PM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

family sux sometimes, Good Luck, hope everything works out!

nycgirl79 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 02:22 PM

Re: VENT! HOW THE HECK do people find the audacity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW!
I am SO so so sorry you have this sh!t to deal with. Some people just really don't get it, and they never will. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your conversation with your aunt will go well, and that she'll take the high road and be a mature, thoughtful adult.
I have to say that I commend you for remaining so articulate - if it were me, I'd be a psychotic, babbling moron!