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UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Original post by LM903

Can i just say - the friggin nerve of people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I invited everyone I work with to my wedding and only those who are married (2 of them)with their husbands. Everyone else is invited solo - since we are on a tight budget and have limited seating. None of those who were invited solo are engaged.

I received the RSVP from a girl last night (WHO I CAN'T STAND MIND YOU and invited her just to be nice) that she is bringing a guest.

She wrote: 'Ms. Stupid Idiot' and Guest
will __2__ attend

Now that she's put me in extremely akward position, i have to approach her. At this point, its not about the money or the people - but what I do for one, now I have to do for all. I can't stand people who just assume things like this.

Anyone have this happen to them?! Any advice????


UPDATE, UPDATE:

So I get home last night and in the mail is another RSVP from another girl in my work who I invited - SOLO. Her RSVP says ...

'Ms. Stupid Idiot 2' and MY MOTHER
will _2_ attend


DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?
Immediately after opening this - i called the first girl - the evil one - on her cell b/c she obviously talked to this other girl and told her its ok to respond with a guest. I left her a firm and some what nasty message saying ...

'I just received your RSVP for my wedding. We're happy you'll be able to attend but there must have been a big misunderstanding - the invitation was ONLY intended for you. I really wish that if you had any question about that - that you would have to come me and asked me, rather than assume otherwise. FH and I are on a very tight budget and I don't think we'll be able to accomodate you with a guest at our wedding.'

I can not believe this nonsense. What in the world are people thinking??? And someone wants to bring her MOTHER?? WHAT THE HECK??????

Girls, word to the wise - If you have any doubts about inviting people from work - my advice is .... DON'T DO IT
littlebookworm4 Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

I wouldn't just assume that I was invited with a guest unless it said it on there. If you're not sure then you should ask first.

M&S Sept12006 Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by littlebookworm4

I wouldn't just assume that I was invited with a guest unless it said it on there. If you're not sure then you should ask first.


Well Im sorry I would...
LM903 Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by Goldi1021

Im glad you were strong enough to say something to those people. As someone who strays from confrontation, I applaud you. I would not second guess your choice for one minute. Here's my take!

If you invite more than one person from work and those people know each other rather well then there is no need to invite them each with guests. If you invited one person from work or perhaps people from different departments who did NOT know each other at all, then Id say YES let them bring guests as it WOULD be awkward for them. It is apparent that they DO know each other well enough to have some sort of discussion about it so they shouldnt have ANY problem talking to each other at your wedding without a guest.

People are very ballsy. I am in a work situation where I really cannot exclude people. A few people have told me right to my face that my family is wealthy (based on where I grew up) and thats why they can afford a huge wedding. Then they assume they will be invited wih guests. It couldnt be further from the truth. If a financial restraint prevents a couple from inviting people with guests then those guests need to respect that. So what if I am inviting 250 people to my wedding? Do my work friends have any idea how many cousins I have? How many of those cousins have spouses? How many cousins my parents have? How many siblings I have? No they dont. Im sorry, but Id much rather have my cousins than the flavor of the week so my work buddy has someone to dance with.

A wedding isnt a venue to showcase some person they met a week ago at a bar. This happens quite a bit. If I ever brought someone to a wedding (or other function) as my guest, you can be darn sure they played a very significant role in my life.




Thank you for this, i agree completly. I work in an office of 6 women. 2 are married, and the other four are not dating people seriously, that I have met or know about. When I made the decision to invite the 2 married women with their husbands and everyone else solo, i thought that everyone would just come as a group, together. No problems. They all know eachother well and get along well. The reason I invited the 'evil one' is because I could never exclude just one person from work. To me, it was invite ALL or NONE.

At this point, its not even the money or the seating issues or even the fact that some of my own FAMILY members were not invited b/c of money and seating constraints - its the fact that people are very wrong when they just assume that they can do whatever the hell they please. If I could rewind, I would have never invited anyone from work and would have just told them I was having a very small wedding. The reality is - its a small office - and I will probably be there for a little while after the wedding. I didn't want to make an uncomfortable situation for myself - and as it turns out, this is even more of an uncomfortable situation that I thought.

WIth regards to the comment about being 'offended' if you weren't invited somewhere with your FH - that's different. You are engaged. If that was the case with any of the women from my work who I invited solo I would understand that and of course, would have invited them with their FH's.

Bottom line is - it's my wedding and my day. If people are offended by my decisions - well that's just too bad for them. In an effort to be nice and accomodate everyone, I ended up being screwed. I'll be damned if I let people like this walk all over me
M&S Sept12006 Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by LM903

Posted by Goldi1021

Im glad you were strong enough to say something to those people. As someone who strays from confrontation, I applaud you. I would not second guess your choice for one minute. Here's my take!

If you invite more than one person from work and those people know each other rather well then there is no need to invite them each with guests. If you invited one person from work or perhaps people from different departments who did NOT know each other at all, then Id say YES let them bring guests as it WOULD be awkward for them. It is apparent that they DO know each other well enough to have some sort of discussion about it so they shouldnt have ANY problem talking to each other at your wedding without a guest.

People are very ballsy. I am in a work situation where I really cannot exclude people. A few people have told me right to my face that my family is wealthy (based on where I grew up) and thats why they can afford a huge wedding. Then they assume they will be invited wih guests. It couldnt be further from the truth. If a financial restraint prevents a couple from inviting people with guests then those guests need to respect that. So what if I am inviting 250 people to my wedding? Do my work friends have any idea how many cousins I have? How many of those cousins have spouses? How many cousins my parents have? How many siblings I have? No they dont. Im sorry, but Id much rather have my cousins than the flavor of the week so my work buddy has someone to dance with.

A wedding isnt a venue to showcase some person they met a week ago at a bar. This happens quite a bit. If I ever brought someone to a wedding (or other function) as my guest, you can be darn sure they played a very significant role in my life.




Thank you for this, i agree completly. I work in an office of 6 women. 2 are married, and the other four are not dating people seriously, that I have met or know about. When I made the decision to invite the 2 married women with their husbands and everyone else solo, i thought that everyone would just come as a group, together. No problems. They all know eachother well and get along well. The reason I invited the 'evil one' is because I could never exclude just one person from work. To me, it was invite ALL or NONE.

At this point, its not even the money or the seating issues or even the fact that some of my own FAMILY members were not invited b/c of money and seating constraints - its the fact that people are very wrong when they just assume that they can do whatever the hell they please. If I could rewind, I would have never invited anyone from work and would have just told them I was having a very small wedding. The reality is - its a small office - and I will probably be there for a little while after the wedding. I didn't want to make an uncomfortable situation for myself - and as it turns out, this is even more of an uncomfortable situation that I thought.

WIth regards to the comment about being 'offended' if you weren't invited somewhere with your FH - that's different. You are engaged. If that was the case with any of the women from my work who I invited solo I would understand that and of course, would have invited them with their FH's.

Bottom line is - it's my wedding and my day. If people are offended by my decisions - well that's just too bad for them. In an effort to be nice and accomodate everyone, I ended up being screwed. I'll be damned if I let people like this walk all over me


You're absolutely right...it is YOUR day and it should be your way...and the fact is that nobody should walk all over you. I guess this is more of a personal issue that brides deal with when it comes down to inviting friends, family and co-workers. Im sure I will face a few myself. I just personally think it is difficult to begin with inviting people from work and inviting people solo. In any event, Im sure if you speak to the girls you invited solo and explain to them your situation, Im sure they'll understand, and maybe even opt not to come at all by themselves. Good luck.
DanaMZ Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!


If it is a money issue & you have too many guest.. just tell her outright. Whats the worse that could happen? She will get offended and WONT come??

Boo Hoo.



Seriously, I agree tell her she can't bring anyone and hopefully she won't come....IF you are not that friendly with her to begin with. And if she tends to walk all over you, you don't want this person at your wedding anyway!
girlygrl33 Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by JennJay

Ok, now my question to add on to this post is, what do you do if you invite someone with a guest, but they decide to bring their best friend..... not of the opposite sex.... what do you think about that? I always thought it was kind of rude to just bring a freind. This girl I was freinds with always brought her friend Julie everywhere. And the way I see it is if I wanted your best friend to come, i would have invited her.
Welp, when I was single I brought my best friend to a christening that was worded and guest. I didnt see the harm in it, my father was furious with me, but I didnt understand what difference it made 'who' the guest was if I was invited with a guest? My sister in law knew I was single so to invite me with a guest was a slap in the face( I had just broken up with a long term relationship and back then we didnt get along much, now we do) so I brought my BF had a great time and that was that. I wouldnt mind either if I invited someone with a guest and they brought a friend, as long as the person feels comfortable I dont mind, BUT if they are invited SOLO then that is a nono!!!
Marisa M Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

When you invite someone w/ an 'And Guest' you run the risk of them bringing whomever they choose. -
I personally assume 'and guest' means, 'and Date' not 'and your Best Friend, cousin, ex boyfriend etc' .......but you didn't even invite her w/ a GUEST !!! You have EVERY Right to remind her of that. You shouldn't have to suck it up and accomodate her - Besides, what about the other people you work with ?? What will they think if SHE shows up w/ a guest and they can't ?
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Well I am afraid that my cousin and her husband Mr and Mrs Stupid Idiot will bring their children brat 1 and brat 2 even though children are DEFINETELY NOT INVITED This is what they did for my e-party
LM903 Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by beautyq115

Well I am afraid that my cousin and her husband Mr and Mrs Stupid Idiot will bring their children brat 1 and brat 2 even though children are DEFINETELY NOT INVITED This is what they did for my e-party
thanks for making me laugh

i having one of them too - seriously, where the heck do people get their manners?
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by LM903

Posted by beautyq115

Well I am afraid that my cousin and her husband Mr and Mrs Stupid Idiot will bring their children brat 1 and brat 2 even though children are DEFINETELY NOT INVITED This is what they did for my e-party
thanks for making me laugh

i having one of them too - seriously, where the heck do people get their manners?


I don't know where people get the freakin nerve I really don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its appauling

I am glad that I could make you laugh.

toddlerteacher Posted:

Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

i am sorry that happened

LM903 Posted:

UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - I spoke to her - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

I approached the 'evil' girl in my office today about her RSVP - (after I left her a phone message about it on Friday) and she played it off like she didn't get my message. LIAR!!!!! (FYI 0 approached the other one on Friday and she completly understood...)

Anyway, I said my peace to the evil one - I told her what she did by just 'assuming' that she could just bring a guest was hurtful and disrespectful and that FH and I don't know at this point if we can accomodate her w/her guest.

Long story short - it was a long conversation - she was complelty taken back by my forwardness - which was great. She got all teary eyed and I told her not to get upset and worry about it - because I sure as hell am not.

I put my foot down for once with this girl and put her back in her place. Ughhh, I feel so great right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tracy&Brian Posted:

Re: UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by LM903

I approached the 'evil' girl in my office today about her RSVP - (after I left her a phone message about it on Friday) and she played it off like she didn't get my message. LIAR!!!!! (FYI 0 approached the other one on Friday and she completly understood...)

Anyway, I said my peace to the evil one - I told her what she did by just 'assuming' that she could just bring a guest was hurtful and disrespectful and that FH and I don't know at this point if we can accomodate her w/her guest.

Long story short - it was a long conversation - she was complelty taken back by my forwardness - which was great. She got all teary eyed and I told her not to get upset and worry about it - because I sure as hell am not.

I put my foot down for once with this girl and put her back in her place. Ughhh, I feel so great right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Good job!
suven Posted:

Re: UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

be prepared for her to not show up.

I had something similar happen. A guest RSVPd for 1. Then, a week before the wedding, she called and asked if she could bring a guest because she 'JUST started seeing someone'.

It was waaay too late at that point to add on her guest.

She no showed. But, even better, she PRETENDED to be at the wedding. Her mom took her placecard. Her sister signed her name in the guest book and dropped a card for us in the gift box. But, I received confirmation from others that this person did not attend.
BEANS Posted:

Re: UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by suven

be prepared for her to not show up.

I had something similar happen. A guest RSVPd for 1. Then, a week before the wedding, she called and asked if she could bring a guest because she 'JUST started seeing someone'.

It was waaay too late at that point to add on her guest.

She no showed. But, even better, she PRETENDED to be at the wedding. Her mom took her placecard. Her sister signed her name in the guest book and dropped a card for us in the gift box. But, I received confirmation from others that this person did not attend.


OMG--how ridiculous. I would have to call her out on it & let her know the I knew she wasn't there.
Goldi1021 Posted:

Re: UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by suven

be prepared for her to not show up.

I had something similar happen. A guest RSVPd for 1. Then, a week before the wedding, she called and asked if she could bring a guest because she 'JUST started seeing someone'.

It was waaay too late at that point to add on her guest.

She no showed. But, even better, she PRETENDED to be at the wedding. Her mom took her placecard. Her sister signed her name in the guest book and dropped a card for us in the gift box. But, I received confirmation from others that this person did not attend.


That is bizarre behavior - moreso of her family than herself.

and GOOD FOR YOU for standing your ground! I flat out TOLD single people at work - NO guests. They were fine with it.
LM903 Posted:

Re: UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

I know, I already thought about that! Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do - and I refuse to sit here and worry about her doing that. She's a malicious person, so I wouldn't put it past her!

tracy2246 Posted:

Re: UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

good for you!

dianadrw Posted:

Re: UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by suven

be prepared for her to not show up.

I had something similar happen. A guest RSVPd for 1. Then, a week before the wedding, she called and asked if she could bring a guest because she 'JUST started seeing someone'.

It was waaay too late at that point to add on her guest.

She no showed. But, even better, she PRETENDED to be at the wedding. Her mom took her placecard. Her sister signed her name in the guest book and dropped a card for us in the gift box. But, I received confirmation from others that this person did not attend.


It really is bloody amazing how some people will behave.
Jennie0898 Posted:

Re: UPDATE ON PAGE 3 - What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!

Posted by Tracy&Brian

Posted by LM903

I approached the 'evil' girl in my office today about her RSVP - (after I left her a phone message about it on Friday) and she played it off like she didn't get my message. LIAR!!!!! (FYI 0 approached the other one on Friday and she completly understood...)

Anyway, I said my peace to the evil one - I told her what she did by just 'assuming' that she could just bring a guest was hurtful and disrespectful and that FH and I don't know at this point if we can accomodate her w/her guest.

Long story short - it was a long conversation - she was complelty taken back by my forwardness - which was great. She got all teary eyed and I told her not to get upset and worry about it - because I sure as hell am not.

I put my foot down for once with this girl and put her back in her place. Ughhh, I feel so great right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Good job!


I second that! Good for you and how phony she started to cry!! What a wacko!!

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