Update to suicide of my sons girlfriends....
Last night her dad rang our bell..and this is what happened:
He basically came over to find out what CJ (my son) was doing in his house that night..and I told him the same thing I told his daughter. CJ had gone over to Andrew's house (next door) to sleep over, and apparently Lyanne called them telling them to come over and they went. I also told him that was not the first time he had been there..that this had happened 1 time before that I wasn't aware of, and I also told him about her letting people into the pool a few times. I told him I wanted to tell her something..but didn't want her to feel like I was 'ratting' on her..but just wanted her to know that it wasn't right, but never did. He said he had heard the same thing..and just wanted us to be careful because he found spray paint cans in his house that day as well, and knows one time someone spray painted the sidewalk and he cleaned it, but wasn't sure if anyone else would be as nice as he was.
Apparently some kids are going around our block (low life kids) spray painting cars...(and he thinks Andrew and CJ were 2 of them). CJ said he didn't know anything about the cans in his house...but apparently he's known about other occasions where kids have done it. Not sure if he has participated... but that was irrelevant to what he came to talk to us about. Just yesterday, when he came back from being out w/my mom..they saw that someone had spray painted a van and the man was pissed!!! Now he wasn't home, nor was Andrew..so we know it's not them. Andrew was sent to the Dominican Republic to live after all of this happened.
But anyway...we talked for a while..and then I asked him if he wanted to talk to CJ..and he said sure. So he came up and spoke with him..and basically told him..that he didn't blame him for what happened, and wanted him to know it's not his fault or Andrews fault that she did this, because obviously she had it set in her mind. He told him if he needs to talk, or anything..not to hold it in, and if he can't talk to us, to go talk to him and he'll treat him like his son.
Apparently the stepmother sent him over to talk to us to see if they can get answers to why she did this..but he told her and I told him..no one knows why she did this, and we wish she would have said something..because this is so hard. He said he's numb..and that it's hard because she was always with him . He also said he had just bought her another dress for her Sweet 16 the Saturday that passed before she did this. He said she never gave him any signs, or trouble..that it was the older one who gave him a hard time and was wild . He said she told him that she liked Christian, and he told her that it was normal. He also said that he had always told her she could talk to him about anything. I don't know how true any of this is...because she said the opposite..and would complain about him, but what teenager doesn't? He also said that he has a lock box for the gun, but it had disappeared, and he found it after the detectives left underneath his bed. So....the gun was out (which is how she got it) and apparently she must have moved the box or opened it. He also said when they were little (the girls) he showed them both how to hold the gun and how to use it 'to get it out of their system' because kids are curious and he wanted them to see that it wasn't a toy. I'm not sure if he slipped when he said that...but that's what he said. I'm sure he regrets showing her that now.
I told him about this other 18 year old kid Denzel did and said to CJ on the night of her wake. (He came around saying he was her boyfriend and wanted to beat up my son because he heard he was in the house and it was his fault). I let him have it...and basically told him if he was her 'boyfriend' how come no one knew this..not even her sister, yet she knew about my son? I also told him he had alot of nerve coming around on the day of her wake to start trouble....because there was enough stuff that happened. Surprisingly the father said you should have rang my bell and told me because that's not right. I told him..that was so unimportant compared to what your family has been through and I dealt with it, but I want you to know that Denzel also told Andrew and my son that she apparently attempted this before ..and he said... What?? Why didn't he say something then if he knew..so we could help her? That pisses me off ...they wait until after the fact to say something..and I said I agree and that's why I told him what I did. I also told him that if anything he should look at himself in the mirror instead of blaming my son for what happened to her, because he knew she had tried this before and didn't say anything to her father/parents. So what kind of person does that make him? Turns out he wasn't her boyfriend, but she did talk to him at one time. The father also said that Denzel didn't want to go in the house and then told him 'there are some things I have to tell you about your daughter and I'..and he told him 'now is not the time'. This kid is too much. What the hell was he going to tell him...that he dated her, slept with her????? I mean seriously dude...on the day of her wake??? Unbelievable. Like that is what he wanted to hear?? As it is, I'm sure he regrets alot of things that took place that day. He was unaware that CJ was in the house...the detectives never told him. And he thought CJ was in our house..and that I let him go over., which was why he was so upset. However, when I told him he was next door, he looked surprised. I told him..had he been home..he wouldn't have snuck out, but that's besides the point now.
I have to say that I feel alot better now that we have spoken..because at least he knows the truth..and from this point on I don't care what other people think.
He basically came over to find out what CJ (my son) was doing in his house that night..and I told him the same thing I told his daughter. CJ had gone over to Andrew's house (next door) to sleep over, and apparently Lyanne called them telling them to come over and they went. I also told him that was not the first time he had been there..that this had happened 1 time before that I wasn't aware of, and I also told him about her letting people into the pool a few times. I told him I wanted to tell her something..but didn't want her to feel like I was 'ratting' on her..but just wanted her to know that it wasn't right, but never did. He said he had heard the same thing..and just wanted us to be careful because he found spray paint cans in his house that day as well, and knows one time someone spray painted the sidewalk and he cleaned it, but wasn't sure if anyone else would be as nice as he was.
Apparently some kids are going around our block (low life kids) spray painting cars...(and he thinks Andrew and CJ were 2 of them). CJ said he didn't know anything about the cans in his house...but apparently he's known about other occasions where kids have done it. Not sure if he has participated... but that was irrelevant to what he came to talk to us about. Just yesterday, when he came back from being out w/my mom..they saw that someone had spray painted a van and the man was pissed!!! Now he wasn't home, nor was Andrew..so we know it's not them. Andrew was sent to the Dominican Republic to live after all of this happened.
But anyway...we talked for a while..and then I asked him if he wanted to talk to CJ..and he said sure. So he came up and spoke with him..and basically told him..that he didn't blame him for what happened, and wanted him to know it's not his fault or Andrews fault that she did this, because obviously she had it set in her mind. He told him if he needs to talk, or anything..not to hold it in, and if he can't talk to us, to go talk to him and he'll treat him like his son.
Apparently the stepmother sent him over to talk to us to see if they can get answers to why she did this..but he told her and I told him..no one knows why she did this, and we wish she would have said something..because this is so hard. He said he's numb..and that it's hard because she was always with him . He also said he had just bought her another dress for her Sweet 16 the Saturday that passed before she did this. He said she never gave him any signs, or trouble..that it was the older one who gave him a hard time and was wild . He said she told him that she liked Christian, and he told her that it was normal. He also said that he had always told her she could talk to him about anything. I don't know how true any of this is...because she said the opposite..and would complain about him, but what teenager doesn't? He also said that he has a lock box for the gun, but it had disappeared, and he found it after the detectives left underneath his bed. So....the gun was out (which is how she got it) and apparently she must have moved the box or opened it. He also said when they were little (the girls) he showed them both how to hold the gun and how to use it 'to get it out of their system' because kids are curious and he wanted them to see that it wasn't a toy. I'm not sure if he slipped when he said that...but that's what he said. I'm sure he regrets showing her that now.
I told him about this other 18 year old kid Denzel did and said to CJ on the night of her wake. (He came around saying he was her boyfriend and wanted to beat up my son because he heard he was in the house and it was his fault). I let him have it...and basically told him if he was her 'boyfriend' how come no one knew this..not even her sister, yet she knew about my son? I also told him he had alot of nerve coming around on the day of her wake to start trouble....because there was enough stuff that happened. Surprisingly the father said you should have rang my bell and told me because that's not right. I told him..that was so unimportant compared to what your family has been through and I dealt with it, but I want you to know that Denzel also told Andrew and my son that she apparently attempted this before ..and he said... What?? Why didn't he say something then if he knew..so we could help her? That pisses me off ...they wait until after the fact to say something..and I said I agree and that's why I told him what I did. I also told him that if anything he should look at himself in the mirror instead of blaming my son for what happened to her, because he knew she had tried this before and didn't say anything to her father/parents. So what kind of person does that make him? Turns out he wasn't her boyfriend, but she did talk to him at one time. The father also said that Denzel didn't want to go in the house and then told him 'there are some things I have to tell you about your daughter and I'..and he told him 'now is not the time'. This kid is too much. What the hell was he going to tell him...that he dated her, slept with her????? I mean seriously dude...on the day of her wake??? Unbelievable. Like that is what he wanted to hear?? As it is, I'm sure he regrets alot of things that took place that day. He was unaware that CJ was in the house...the detectives never told him. And he thought CJ was in our house..and that I let him go over., which was why he was so upset. However, when I told him he was next door, he looked surprised. I told him..had he been home..he wouldn't have snuck out, but that's besides the point now.
I have to say that I feel alot better now that we have spoken..because at least he knows the truth..and from this point on I don't care what other people think.
