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UPDATED: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Original post by LFitzy79

So my boyfriend of almost two years, who I was anticipating proposing soon, just told me he thinks that we need a little break, to get some perspective....
how long of a break you ask? oh, about SIX MONTHS. Is he freaking kidding me???? This all started with a conversation thursday....where I told him that he didn't seem happy lately, and was it something that we could work on-he told me that he was sorry, that he knew he was distant, and that he didn't know what was on his mind. So I told him that we should take the weekend to ourselves, have some private time, and when he was ready to talk he should call me. I kept hoping that I would turn around and he'd be standing there with open arms. Well, today I walk into work, and that coward emailed me, at 2:30am, that he loves me, and that he wants us to be together but he thinks that this time apart is what we need, the whole if you love something set it free thing.....
I emailed him back that he was acting like a little boy, and that if this is truly what he feels, then lets discuss it tonight-can you believe that he hasn't written back to me yet-I don't know whether to laugh, cry or punch someone in the face.
The pathetic thing is that I love him....I know that we had some problems, but I didn't think I was that bad that he needs 6 months away from me.....
Here's the kicker-my family re-union is this weekend, my sisters wedding (I am the MOH) is 8/13/05, and a couple that we are close to is having thier wedding 8/27/05...lovely. I feel like such a D I C K.
Sorry I needed to vent.

ETA: Well, he never called, and I didn't call him. And he never wrote back to my email. So, I guess it's over-I think the six month thing was his way of ending it because he couldn't say 'I want to break up'.....
Thanks everyone for your hugs and support. I felt that something was wrong-I gave him an out, and he took it. I just have to get over it. I truly love him, and I really do want him to be happy-and I wish that being with me was what he wanted, but um....clearly it's not.
And I hope that one day he realizes what we had together.
Anyway, thanks guys.
MissingTheBGene Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Posted by MonkeyLuv



I hope everything works out and that you are happy... but don't put your life on hold for him. You have to do what is right for you.


I totally agree! I'm so sorry to hear this, Lauren! I agree he was a coward and I know it'll be hard but please please try to stay strong!
ambersmom Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Good for you girl!! Get mad!! He's not worth your tears if he can be this cruel. Leave you totally hanging. Look, his issues are just that, HIS! Either he's looking to step out, lost interest or some other phantom reason why he needs 'time'. If he was committed to you, he would not be looking for an out right in the middle of some big plans.

He totally doesn't deserve you
heidla Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

palebride Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)


That's terrible that he did this to you over email.....shows his immaturity and lack of compassion...
But, don't blame yourself for loving him - it shows what a good person you are for being able to see the good in people

I hope he gets a fungus too
LFitzy79 Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Posted by ambersmom

Good for you girl!! Get mad!! He's not worth your tears if he can be this cruel. Leave you totally hanging. Look, his issues are just that, HIS! Either he's looking to step out, lost interest or some other phantom reason why he needs 'time'. If he was committed to you, he would not be looking for an out right in the middle of some big plans.

He totally doesn't deserve you


thanks for the hugs...I hate having all these things I want to say to him that I can't-like 'big fat f*cking coward momma's boy, I'm the best thing that ever walked into your life, and you're going to regret this forever!'
That's what my pride wants to say....

My heart wants to say 'what was wrong with me?'

I need to go home and have a good cry and a glass of wine...and then figure out what to do about my friends wedding. F*ck....what do I do, call her and tell her I'm coming alone? I hate going to weddings alone.

LFitzy79 Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Posted by palebride


That's terrible that he did this to you over email.....shows his immaturity and lack of compassion...
But, don't blame yourself for loving him - it shows what a good person you are for being able to see the good in people

I hope he gets a fungus too



let's all hope that little weeny gets a fungus. jerk
JanuaryBride06 Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Posted by LFitzy79



let's all hope that little weeny gets a fungus. jerk


When I first read it I thought it said that you hoped that he gets a little weeny fugus...

I'm sorry that this has happened to you.
nylibride Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

I'm so sorry. You deserve SO much more than an email!!!! You guys really do need to talk. If he does want a 6 month break...do NOT put YOUR life on hold for him.... So sorry you're feeling badly. Hope he gets that fungus you're hoping for....
MonkeyLuv Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

I think the best attitude to have right now (aside from seething anger and fungus-wishes!) is if he wants to leave, ask if he needs help packing. (or tell him not to let the door hit him in the @ss on the way out!)

You should decide what the 'time apart means'. Tell him 'this is a break up.' or 'this is a pause for time to ourselves.'

Whatever you do, tell him flat out what you expect from him over the 6 months. If it's fidelity and deep thought, or casually dating other people or whatever. BUT TELL HIM. And then stick to your guns.

In the meantime, here we are!
BMD'sPeanut Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Posted by JanuaryBride06

Posted by LFitzy79



let's all hope that little weeny gets a fungus. jerk


When I first read it I thought it said that you hoped that he gets a little weeny fugus...


Me too!

And Fitz, where's the wedding???
HearzBellz Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

hmm, that was pretty sh**y getting an e-mail, and then no return. Honestly, I would find out what is *really* going on. And why 6 months? Why does he have a time limit for this? I understand you not wanting to push him into getting back together, but I think you will go mad if he does not explain himself a little better.

I think you should find a good friend that you know you can laugh & have a good time with at the wedding & go with him/her. I am sure you'd much rather be happy & carefree that day with someone fun.

What a weenie thing to do
I hope he gets a fungus and a wart.
nov04LIbride Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Posted by MonkeyLuv

I think the best attitude to have right now (aside from seething anger and fungus-wishes!) is if he wants to leave, ask if he needs help packing. (or tell him not to let the door hit him in the @ss on the way out!)

You should decide what the 'time apart means'. Tell him 'this is a break up.' or 'this is a pause for time to ourselves.'

Whatever you do, tell him flat out what you expect from him over the 6 months. If it's fidelity and deep thought, or casually dating other people or whatever. BUT TELL HIM. And then stick to your guns.

In the meantime, here we are!


I agree! Fact is, you can't control what he does, but you do have control over how you react to it. Please know that you would NOT have wanted to be married to someone who was not 100% sure! There are too many divorces out there. Take this time for you, and figure out if HE was really what you wanted, or maybe seeing all those other weddings made you want a wedding of your own...
Athee07 Posted:

Re: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

danigirl0 Posted:

Re: UPDATED: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

yes, perfectly said. or else it becomes a huge mess and very confusing. good luck with everything.


Posted by MonkeyLuv

I think the best attitude to have right now (aside from seething anger and fungus-wishes!) is if he wants to leave, ask if he needs help packing. (or tell him not to let the door hit him in the @ss on the way out!)

You should decide what the 'time apart means'. Tell him 'this is a break up.' or 'this is a pause for time to ourselves.'

Whatever you do, tell him flat out what you expect from him over the 6 months. If it's fidelity and deep thought, or casually dating other people or whatever. BUT TELL HIM. And then stick to your guns.

In the meantime, here we are!
Danielle Posted:

Re: UPDATED: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

I am so sorry. I canceled my wedding last year (yesterday would have been my one year anniversary) so if you want to talk, FM me!

acre730 Posted:

Re: UPDATED: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

I am so sorry..... As someone else said you are better off having found out sooner rather than later..I'm sure it still hurts, but it will get better and you will be stronger as a result.
LaurenluvsTJ Posted:

Re: UPDATED: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Oh no, I am sorry!
How awful of him to do that to you in an email!
Valentinegirl Posted:

Re: UPDATED: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

I really am SO sorry!
jes81276 Posted:

Re: UPDATED: So I need a hug, or a giggle if anyone has something fun to share....(long)

Oh my gosh, I am reading this and crying! I am so sorry - but boys have such a weird way of expressing (actually NOT expressing) themselves. I truly hope everything works out for you - just remember that everything really does happen for a reason. My FH and I broke up for a year after we first got together...so things have a crazy way of working out. Good luck and stay true to YOURSELF.

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