For a traditional bride, I am having a hardtime accepting the idea of changing my last name. I feel like a) I am not his damn property. i am not his dog or his slave. b) why should I have to take his stupid last name? c) why should his 'family' take the credit for my accomplishments...d) why should I have to 'give up' my family history and my fathers last name for FH ??? e) Why should I have to go through the hassle of changing my last name and all legal documents????
I have argued w. people over this and all i hear is 'I dont want my kids to feel weird b.c we dont have the same last name. i dont want teachers to think my child is a ******* child. (LOL). so then if this is the case....why not take MY last name???
What the hell makes his damn family better than mine that I should feel so damn PRIVILEDGED to have it????? people have suggested hyphenating my name....I think thats stupid. what the hell am I supposed to do... Sign 3 damn names everywhere? i really hate the fact that women are even put in this stupid position. I thought about changing my middle name to his...or maybe change it to my last name (if I want to compromise) but i hear that I have to go through the supreme court to get ny middle name changed!!! ***?
*** MY SCREEN NAME IS Mrs.Larrea 2b --- I used it b.c I figured I would 'try' to get used to it. But the more ppl at work ask me 'so you are going to be Mrs.___' and I alwasy respond 'Mrs.hurtado' and they get all weirded out. then i get the 'ur a feminist' crap.
It is a matter of principle ... What the hell makes him king of the castle???
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UPDATE 03/11/08
FH and I argued about it yesterday. He was so pissed off at me. He even brought up cancelling the wedding!
He asked me why I didnt want to change my name. I told him b.c I didnt see a need for it and my name meant a lot to me. He countered w. its tradition for the woman to change her name. SO me like an *** I said, I dont wanna follow tradition...and then my super smart sneaky FH double countered w. 'so why the hell are w. paying 30k for a wedding, if you dont wanna follow tradition???' ( Just to fill you in, FH is against us having a huge wedding. But he is doing this b.c he knows I have been dreaming of this day since I was born. My FH literally starves himself in order to pay for our wedding. He doesnt go out his friends, and if he does he always invites me to come along. from the moment we got engaged he immediately went along w. the wedding plans and didnt argue w. me about it)
So basically we are 2 very stubborn people, My argument is that the whole 'tradition' excuse is not a good reason and I dont wanna go that route. Which hapens to be HIS reason for not wanting a big wedding. Money is very important to him and he is willing to give it all to me to throw away on one day, instead of using that money to buy our 1st house together or opening up a business.
As far as the last name goes, his excuse is that it is tradition and he does want to go that route.
He feels that I am contradicting myself when I say 'I am traditional and I MUST have a huge wedding. BUt then again I am a modern woman and I dont care what people say so I wont take your last name'
So then I tried to reason w. him and brought up hyphenating.... he said 'no way, how about we have a 1/2 assed wedding then? or I only give you 1/2 the money? or 1/2 a wedding cake? All or nothing'
Then I said, FINE, then NOTHING!
We walked towards the car and started laughing. He turned to me and said... 'You have to take my last name, we are going to start a family'
I pretended not to hear him and the argument ended there. I am telling you, this is not going to be an easy one.
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