$$$$$ vent!!!

Ok so I’m totally freaking out. FH told me last night that he mom has around 40 people to add to the guest list (FMIL and FFIL guest list is already up to 80, while mine is only at 50 and my parents gave us more than enough $ to cover their family) I said to FH I hope she has $4,000 to pay for them??? Hes like don’t worry about $, we’ll be fine. I’m like what if we don’t have enough $?? and i started rambling about who we still owe what to and hes like we’ll if we need $ we’ll ask my parents for it or charge it. Hes like we’ll make it back anyway. I’m like I’m sure we will, but key word is back. we also need to have all $ paid in cash to the reception hall at least a month before the wedding. Also the final payments for limo, church, dj, and photog need to be paid in cash. Hes like oh don’t worry we’ll have it. Um hello, I’m worried!!! his parents have been saying since we got engaged that they will give us $ for the wedding. we have yet to see a penny of it other than them throwing us our e-party in their backyard. don't get me wrong i'm very greateful about that, but its just ridiculous FIL's has yet to give us the acutal figure. is there a nice to ask FMIL how much she's giving us? when i ask FH if hes asked hes like don't worry we'll be fine. i think over the weekend i'm going to write out how much we still need to spend on everything so FH can see why i'm stressing.



UPDATE:
so i spoke to FMIL after work. she was all excited talking to me about the wedding and i was excited too. i said i can't wait but i'm just worried about $. i have no problem with u inviting whoever you want, i'm just worried about paying for them. then she says aww sweetie anyone who we add to the guest list we will pay for. i was like good, then add on as many as u want. can we say relieved? i'm so called i called and talked to her. thanks for all the hugs and advice ladies!!

I hear ya I was trying to crunch number to last night. But try to relax a little. Everything always works out in the end.

aww...i've TOTALLY been there! FH and i paid for our entire wedding...and then only a week ago...my parents gave us a check as a 'gift' that will help pay the remaining balances and help furnish our apt.

perhaps your FH's family is waiting a little bit to see what you have leftover to pay? i'm sure it will work out!

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Posted by BlushingBride714

Oh boy do I feel your pain!!!! Make sure you put your foot down on this one! We are going through a similar situation. IMHO, if they want to invite that many extra people to the wedding, then your FILs need to be paying for them. I would go straight to your FMIL (sorry but FH doesn't seem to be getting it) and explain to her that you simply don't have the money for this. If she would like her 'best friends aunts cousin three times removed' to be at the wedding then she is going to have to front the cash for it BEFORE the invites go out. That way you are not stuck with the bill the week before the wedding.

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thats what i want to do, since FH obvisously doesn't see this as a problem, but how do i go about doing it tackfully???

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Posted by MJDoc12

aww...i've TOTALLY been there! FH and i paid for our entire wedding...and then only a week ago...my parents gave us a check as a 'gift' that will help pay the remaining balances and help furnish our apt.

perhaps your FH's family is waiting a little bit to see what you have leftover to pay? i'm sure it will work out!

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thats what i think they're doing, but its stressing me out to no end!!! i'm one of those brides who has KNOW everything will work wrk out. With their 'extra' people i hope they're giving us close to $10,000 considering $4,000 it will be used on THEIR guests.

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Posted by LICARRIE

I hear ya I was trying to crunch number to last night. But try to relax a little. Everything always works out in the end.

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Couldn;t have said it better myself! Here are some more

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Posted by tricia3381

thats what i think they're doing, but its stressing me out to no end!!! i'm one of those brides who has KNOW everything will work wrk out. With their 'extra' people i hope they're giving us close to $10,000 considering $4,000 it will be used on THEIR guests.

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omg..trust me...i'm the SAME way! i'm anally organized and control freak with the $$ for our wedding and such. then my parents started adding guests to the list...and the last few months have been HELL, wondering how we'll pay and such. then my folks gave us their gift, and i felt like the biggest weight was lifted, but i know it's near impossible to just relax until then!

you will handle it!! i have faith in ya!

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by tricia3381

thats what i think they're doing, but its stressing me out to no end!!! i'm one of those brides who has KNOW everything will work wrk out. With their 'extra' people i hope they're giving us close to $10,000 considering $4,000 it will be used on THEIR guests.

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omg..trust me...i'm the SAME way! i'm anally organized and control freak with the $$ for our wedding and such. then my parents started adding guests to the list...and the last few months have been HELL, wondering how we'll pay and such. then my folks gave us their gift, and i felt like the biggest weight was lifted, but i know it's near impossible to just relax until then!

you will handle it!! i have faith in ya!

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thank you so much for the advice and support. i'm so glad u can relate.

i feel your pain but heres a :

I would suggest doing what you said and writing it all out with best and worst case scenarios and then going through those numbers with FH. We went through our final guestlist and did a rough estimate of who we thought would say yes or no. Then based on that you can make some menu decisions and try to cut some corners. For example, if everyone we invited does come, we won't be doing Viennese hour, that kind of thing.

Once you present it calmly to FH do you think he might be more understanding and talk to his parents? I've just found that it is WAY better to go through FH when it comes to inlaws and wedding stuff. Even though I have a great relationship with my future inlaws (his sister is my MOH), wedding bring sooooo much tension to things.

Edited because I can't type. Sorry!

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Posted by dgirl

I would suggest doing what you said and writing it all out with best and worst case scenarios and then going through those numbers with FH. We went through our final guestlist and did a rough estimate of who we thought would say yes or no. Then based on that you can make some menu decisions and try to cut some corners. For example, if everyone we invited does come, we won't be doing Viennese hour, that kind of thing.

Once you present it calmly to FH do you think he might be more understanding and talk to his parents? I've just found that it is WAY better to go through FH when it comes to inlaws and wedding stuff. Even though I have a great relationship with my future inlaws (his sister is my MOH), wedding bring sooooo much tension to things.

Edited because I can't type. Sorry!

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thanks! i do also have a great relationship with FIL's however this wedding thing is making me think otherwise. FSIL is my MOH too!! FMIL called me today and left me v/m to let me know about some table decorations thing she saw on good morning america and to discuss the guest list. i think when i call her back she will be able to detect that i'm a little upset right now and will ask me whats wrong and i'll tell her that i'm worried about $ and the 40 people added and see if then she'll let me know she plans on paying for them.

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Posted by tricia3381

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Posted by BlushingBride714

Oh boy do I feel your pain!!!! Make sure you put your foot down on this one! We are going through a similar situation. IMHO, if they want to invite that many extra people to the wedding, then your FILs need to be paying for them. I would go straight to your FMIL (sorry but FH doesn't seem to be getting it) and explain to her that you simply don't have the money for this. If she would like her 'best friends aunts cousin three times removed' to be at the wedding then she is going to have to front the cash for it BEFORE the invites go out. That way you are not stuck with the bill the week before the wedding.

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thats what i want to do, since FH obvisously doesn't see this as a problem, but how do i go about doing it tackfully???

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I would be very honest with her. Explain to her firmly (but nicely) that if you and FH had the money you would love to include everyone in your special day. Unfortunately, you don't have the means to pay for it all. I would then tell her that if she would like to pay for the extra guests then they can be invited. Any conversation with money is going to be uncomfortable but I have learned the hard way that as long as you are upfront and honest things are a lot easier. I am sure your FMIL does not want to put you and FH in a financial bind. She may not realize your financial situation.

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Posted by BlushingBride714

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Posted by tricia3381

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Posted by BlushingBride714

Oh boy do I feel your pain!!!! Make sure you put your foot down on this one! We are going through a similar situation. IMHO, if they want to invite that many extra people to the wedding, then your FILs need to be paying for them. I would go straight to your FMIL (sorry but FH doesn't seem to be getting it) and explain to her that you simply don't have the money for this. If she would like her 'best friends aunts cousin three times removed' to be at the wedding then she is going to have to front the cash for it BEFORE the invites go out. That way you are not stuck with the bill the week before the wedding.

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thats what i want to do, since FH obvisously doesn't see this as a problem, but how do i go about doing it tackfully???

---

I would be very honest with her. Explain to her firmly (but nicely) that if you and FH had the money you would love to include everyone in your special day. Unfortunately, you don't have the means to pay for it all. I would then tell her that if she would like to pay for the extra guests then they can be invited. Any conversation with money is going to be uncomfortable but I have learned the hard way that as long as you are upfront and honest things are a lot easier. I am sure your FMIL does not want to put you and FH in a financial bind. She may not realize your financial situation.

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thanks for the advice. i don't think she does realize our financial sitation, especially since FH keeps telling her don't worry we'll pay for it and if we need more $ we'll ask you. um hello, i think now would be a good time ask!! my fh is such a pita sometimes!!!

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Posted by tricia3381



thanks for the advice. i don't think she does realize our financial sitation, especially since FH keeps telling her don't worry we'll pay for it and if we need more $ we'll ask you. um hello, i think now would be a good time ask!! my fh is such a pita sometimes!!!

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Not a problem! Men can be so dense sometimes when it comes to money. It's better off if we women handle these kinds of things, I learned that the hard way!

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Posted by NY031978

lucky u!! My MIL added and added and never offered a dime!!!!

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shes does get on my nerves at times, just like my own mom, but i love her like shes my own mom too. i know i'm a lucky girl, thanks!!