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VENT

ItalianMcBride09 Posted:

Re: VENT

I wouldnt be mad...more gifts, more people, more fun!!

pa1220 Posted:

Re: VENT

You're right but these people don't pay for anything and always throw the expenses on my folks. It gets annoying after a while

SFAR89 Posted:

Re: VENT

I agree with the more gifts and more fun thing, but maybe you can tell your mom to let your FMIL know that if she wants to add that many more people maybe she can just chip in for it?

Is your FMIL helping out at all for the wedding?
pa1220 Posted:

Re: VENT

HELL NO

I'm sorry. I just got the call so I hust have steam coming out of my ears
SFAR89 Posted:

Re: VENT

So I would ask your mom to say something to her, or say something to her yourself. Maybe you can just say 'oh im sorry, but we are only budgeted to add this many more people' I mean if your mom is inviting 5-6 of her friends, maybe she can just tell your FMIL that she can only double it and that is about it.

Im sorry your going through this :(


Edit: I just realized you said that your mom asked HER if she wanted to invite 5-6 friends. I would reiterate the original phone call to her and say 'ONLY 5-6 friends'. I have a close relationship with my FMIL so i wouldn't have a problem saying anything, but i can understand this must be frustrating. I would just simply let her know that you can only add 5-6 more people as that is all the budget will allow.
pa1220 Posted:

Re: VENT

Deleted

SFAR89 Posted:

Re: VENT

I would maybe mention it to FH if you think he can bring it up with her perhaps. I mean, these things are expensive , and it boggles my mind to think that some people just walk around thinking that money doesn't matter. lol I don't get it.

I would also maybe say to her , to maybe soften the blow, that if she wants to add more people she is more than welcome to pay for them. This way she isn't totally being shut out from bringing her friends in and maybe it wont make her feel so upset about not being able to bring her friends?
stinenandy2010 Posted:

Re: VENT

FMIL are tough, I have one just as bad. I would take the rest of the day to relax and then talk with her. Tell her your mother is willing to pay for 5-6 people, if she wants more than she has to pay for them. After all your mother was trying to do something nice and polite and now the FMIL is taking advantage of her generosity.

GiantsBride Posted:

Re: VENT

That must be really hard. Does FH have a relationship with her where he could speak to her about it? I would ask my FH to say something, if this was the case with me. Or else it would not be pretty if I had to handle it!

michesq Posted:

Re: VENT

have your mom ask her to contribute to the shower for guests above the 6-8. I have been involved with some showers lately where FMIL has paid for quite a bit- no harm in asking

Cacarina Posted:

Re: VENT

Asking to invite 12-14 is not all that irrational, imo. i am sorry though...i know you just wanted to vent...I don't know the whole story!

Espo22 Posted:

Re: VENT

Posted by Cacarina

Asking to invite 12-14 is not all that irrational, imo. i am sorry though...i know you just wanted to vent...I don't know the whole story!


sorry i agree. It should be both sides family and friends and if your side theres is 40 guests and her side 5 guests its a bit unfair. Just saying it bc if it was the other way around and FMIL threw a party for us, lets say the shower and didnt invite my side i know i'd be upset. All wedding events such as the shower are to bring both sides together.

Hope you work it out though
lkdrnw Posted:

Re: VENT

I understand how you are feeling--my FMIL is not contributing anything so far and I said absolutely no kids at the shower--but she is insisting--um but my own older cousins won't even be there and she knows I don't want her nieces there, but seems to not care.
I am sorry that this is happening, my mom is also paying for the whole thing and she doesn't know what to do, she had to say yes. It is a hard position to be in--I hope that everything works out for you
pa1220 Posted:

Re: VENT

Posted by Espo22

Posted by Cacarina

Asking to invite 12-14 is not all that irrational, imo. i am sorry though...i know you just wanted to vent...I don't know the whole story!


sorry i agree. It should be both sides family and friends and if your side theres is 40 guests and her side 5 guests its a bit unfair. Just saying it bc if it was the other way around and FMIL threw a party for us, lets say the shower and didnt invite my side i know i'd be upset. All wedding events such as the shower are to bring both sides together.

Hope you work it out though


I'm sorry but if it is a Jack and Jill shower then fine. But it clearly is not.
Its for people who know me. As a clarification, the people my mother is inviting are friends of hers that i have known my whole life so she is more than entitled to invite whomever she wants. The bridal shower is the brides side.


Thanks for your opinion though
Lil83108 Posted:

Re: VENT

Don't be mad...if anything that is 12-14 more gifts for you and FH...
Soon2BMrsC09 Posted:

Re: VENT

oh i would just have your mom tell her that she has room for 5-6 more people - unfortunately she cannot afford to do any more than that - if she wants to pay to have the others attend they are more than welcome

VickiR510 Posted:

Re: VENT

Well i agree the more the merrier not in this case. if in fact they always throw the expense on your parents then they need to say sorry we only have room for whatever amount. OR they can say if they wantto pay for the 12 people then they can invite them. lol Im sure they will love that! lol

AR31 Posted:

Re: VENT

aye vaye.. FMIL drama.. i'd tell your mom to tell your FMIL that there is space constraints.. don't bring up $$$..

danandme4life Posted:

Re: VENT

I hope I dont sound rude, but I think of a bridal shower as for the bride and groom, not just the bride. The gifts that you get are for the home and what you both register for. It has just been tradition that they are given to the brides. I dont think she crossed the line by asking her side to be invitedas well. Especially since the ratio is still going to be in your sides favor. JMO.

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