VENT

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Posted by pthapar

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Cacarina

Asking to invite 12-14 is not all that irrational, imo. i am sorry though...i know you just wanted to vent...I don't know the whole story!

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sorry i agree. It should be both sides family and friends and if your side theres is 40 guests and her side 5 guests its a bit unfair. Just saying it bc if it was the other way around and FMIL threw a party for us, lets say the shower and didnt invite my side i know i'd be upset. All wedding events such as the shower are to bring both sides together.

Hope you work it out though

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I'm sorry but if it is a Jack and Jill shower then fine. But it clearly is not.
Its for people who know me. As a clarification, the people my mother is inviting are friends of hers that i have known my whole life so she is more than entitled to invite whomever she wants. The bridal shower is the brides side.


Thanks for your opinion though

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no not really, the bridal shower is both sides, its not for you to have your own thing and exclude his family and his side. You are having a shower bc HE proposed to you, it will be both your wedding, and the reason for the shower is because the two of you are getting married. Its not your side and his side anymore, its about both families uniting as one and not keeping it separate i mean thats the whole point of everything going on now, its the union of you and your fh and that means your families too, another point of things such as e-parties, showers, rehearsal dinners is for the families to get to know eachother better too.

If you dont want his side then thats different but honestly its how its normally done, every shower ive been, even if you ask the girls they all had more than 5 ppl from fh's side.

FH has a HUGE family his dad alone has 7 sisters, his mom has 2 sisters and they all have kids so we had about 30ppl from fh's side, my mom paid for the whole shower and although we had 70 ppl on our guest list it was just the way it had to be and had to s*ck it up bc i know fh's family would've been really insulted if they werent invited.

If you want it to be just your side then that is fine but just pointed out that i dont think she did it to to be mean or anything

It does sound like a frustrating situation, but what did your mom say about it? If your mom is comfortable with the number your FMIL asked for, then I wouldn't say anything to fmil. Imho, I think it also depends on how fmil said it....if she said, 'no, i want to invite 12-20 people' without offering to chip in, it's a bit rude....but if she asked 'would it be ok if i invited 12-20 because there's family that really should be invited' that's a little different.

Thank you everyone for your opinion. MY FH found out from his mom and took care of it by saying it was somewhat excessive and she cut it down to 8. So i didn't have to say anything.