Vent about my friend

So clearly I know my wedding is not until another year but I text all my BM so I can together with all of them and just really talk about my wedding that's it nothing crazy and my friend had the nerve to tell me this

Btwn my grandma goin for surgery and Tracis wedding coming up I can't discuss anything right now. I can't pay for anything either until tracis wedding is over

And I didn't say anything about buying a dress now I'm really thinking she does not want to be a BM at all that was just uncalled for and I really don't feel like dealing with her attitude and my friends wedding thats in march traci she is a BM not an MOH and she is acting like she is ... I mean I just wanted to have a get together that's it and I get that text ... This really makes me think twice about her being a BM ... What would u do????

I am in a similiar situation with one of My GF. .

How long have you known her?
it sounds like she has other things on her mind i mean if you wanted to just get together with the girls in your bridal party you never said anything about looking for BM dresses. So she is jumping to conclusions.

She shouldnt give you an attitude you did nothing wrong . is she a jealous type of person?

Im in a similiar situation as you-- my friedn that i known since i was 18 finally came to my houase 2 months later to look at my ring and G2G== i mean i was busy too but whatever made no effort. Her and her sister come and im trying to show them my venue and talk to them about it and they dont even care there just playing with there dog. Then i said ok let me try the hotel i start showing her pics of the hotel she literally was not paying attention did not care so i shut of my Ipad and she didnt even notice.. all she kept telling me was ' DID YOU PICK YOUR BRIDAL PARTY YET' I was fustrated. Now Im in a position where if i dont put her in it her and her sis wont come b.c they have another wedding the same day as mine.

Im at the point where you are I dont know what to do but if she was a good freidn she wouldnt give you an attitude she would say im busy and stresses or something not say something like that to you. She seems like no intrest in your wedding. and its sad b/c the ones you think would care dont and the ones who you would think wouldnt care do.

I still havent made my bridal party decision im doing a G2g with everyone next month to ask. I dont want her to be like OMG left out and i am such a softy and i would do it but then shes only gonna aggravate me more.
since you already asked her maybe try sending a text to say hey listen if you dont wnat to be in this weith me then let me know. i didnt want to discuss antyhing about the dresses just letting everyone know whats going on. if she gives you another attitude then say its just not gonna work.

( im gonna do the same thing )

omg that's terrible! Both stories! its is an honor to be chosen in a bridal party, and at the same time, a bride should be honored that the girls accepted the position. Those girls are supposed to be your backbone through this process. Most likely, they are in your party because you have already established that kind of relationship to count on each other!

I'm sorry, but someone's else's wedding is NOT the time for selfishness to come out! My FSIL has 2 less BM's now, bc of similar reasons. It sucks and I feel awful for her that she has always put everyone before her and the one time she asks a favor of people she gets trampled on.

Weddings really do bring out true colors

Jen- I known her for a long time about 15 years + and I feel that she give me an attitude for no reasons at all...Ever since my friends wedding thats in march she been giving me the attitude for no reasons at all and now im getting to the point where 'WHY THE HELL IM I BEING TREATING THIS WAY' I dont ask for much at all and in return I dont get the respect that I should be getting...all my other BM text me and told me okay to just keep them posted and I get the message from her ...im i wrong ?


Kristy- Yea it really does suck though I think u know a person until a wedding and the saying is so true and it just makes me sad


and see its a text message and the way i take that is that she is being rude and no nice at all....its just the way she puts things and it comes off the wrong way and im at my breaking point

So sorry Erin! It should not be like this at all!! If she is stressing you out and you just want to hang out then have to follow your gut. If you think shem,ight just be stressed then tell her how u feel and give her some time. I'm sorry

Is your friend married? If not, maybe shes being miss cranky pants bcuz shes always been a BM but yet to be a bride. Some ppl get really jealous.

If that is not the case maybe she is feeling overwhelmed with all that is going on but she still shouldnt be rude. You should have a talk with her about it.

I don't know.. I feel like maybe it wasn't meant the way that it sounded.

She may just be overwhelmed with what she has in front of her right now. And even though you didn't mention buying anything--she may just be in such a tight position right now with the other wedding she committed to, that it's coming off badly. Plus--also sounds like she has some familial issues going on too.

If you're concerned you should speak with her--but I don't think it was meant the way that it's being taken.

Erin- your not wrong ou have a right to feel and know how your friend is.

Kristy- it's horrible situations. I was doing my cookies today and I'm like u know she should be honored to get one but she don't even care about my wedding

So sad so sad

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Posted by FromGtoC

I am sorry that you have this added stress. Sometimes people say stupid things. We can understand that our friends are going through things but she doesn't have to be rude about it. I would give her some space and maybe she will realize she was out of line.

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people def do say stupid things! i hate being called 'bridezilla' for any wedding-related comment I make!

Maybe I'm the only one who read this it this way

'Btwn my grandma goin for surgery and Tracis wedding coming up I can't discuss anything right now. I can't pay for anything either until tracis wedding is over '

It sounds like your friend has a lot on her plate right now and i being honest. She's got her grandmother going for surgery, which is obviously on her mind and a concern, and she's planning for someone else's wedding.

She could have worded it more sensitively - but she was upfront - She has a lot going on and while maybe wanting to be in your wedding. That's not her fous now.

Your wedding isn't until 2013. Neither is mine. I know who my BMs are, haven't asked yet - though I've hinted (I'm fairly sure they know they are going to be asked).

I don't expect my girls to focus on my wedding, and only my wedding for a year or more. That's crazy. THey have the right to lives. Her answer wasn't sensitive to your desire to have the best wedding possible, but she had a right during the holiday season and with family concerns to have her focus elsewhere.

Now - if Traci's wedding is only a month before yours, then you have issues. But if its in the next 3-4 months - let her focus. Hopefully, it should seem she's a really devoted Bm who focuses on one wedding at a time.

One day that might be yours.

Okay here is a long story short - I'm in this wedding too she is just a BM not MOH and she is taking the role of it number ever since her bridal shower she has been so nasty with me for no reasons and I really don't talk to her that much I've been crazy busy with school and for that I KNOW about being stressed out but she is single and does not even have a bf at all and now with all of my friends who r getting married I think she is taking it out on me and I know it's just a text but it's the way she writes it ... I know her attitude and anything will set her off that's why I back away from her and all my friends feel the same way ... it's the way she is so I'm not talking to her at all bc I really don't need her stressing me out for no reasons and I have no idea of what I should say to her and be nice lol .. Help advice please what should I say to a hot temp. Friend lol

It sounds like the problem wasn't simply her text message, but has been an issue that's been ongoing for weeks... months?

You say 'I really don't talk to her that much'

and

'I really don't need her stressing me out for no reasons'

Are you sure you want to ask someone you don't speak to be a bridesmaid?

On the other issues - Single friends are often just a busy as those with a Bf or Fiancee. They have friends, family and interests/hobbies. They have social groups. She has a right to those.

I think you should contact her, either on the phone or in person, and ask her to clarify her text message. Texts and e-mails can get really misconstrewed, and it may be easier to just have a talk with her, tell her how you feel, and get everything on the table. Her message was not sensitive to your feelings, you're right; but maybe she didn't mean it as harsh as it came off. I would talk to her.

On the flip side, have you asked her about her grandma at all? Maybe you can ask her about that in order to open up the conversation. Everyone has feelings and everyone likes to be acknowledged (not to get cheesy).