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OMG SOOO yesterday was my daughters 1st birthday party I originally wanted to have her party at my fathers house but FMIL said that wasn't an option and decided to pay for a hall to have it in instead. SO I have been running around preparing for her party all week... My house has been a mess because after working all day I run out to buy things for the party come home and FH and my son are eating at his mothers house (we live next door) SOO what should I do eat with them or cook myself dinner at my house.. I eat over there with the rest of the family...(apparently that is the wrong choice).. So anyway FHs grandmother gets to the party yesterday and walks into the kitchen and says to me 'O MY GOD when Philip told me you were in the kitchen I almost had a heart attack.. we all know you are not domestic and you don't cook or clean... that's why he is so skinny and goes home to eat...' then continues to say 'See his mother wont say anything to you but I will ' I was so hurt and angry and upset... I work and have two kids Im planning a wedding, a bachelorette party (May), a baby shower (June), a bridal shower IN ANOTHER STATE! (July) and until yesterday my daughters birthday party! I have been soo stressed and then to hear that comment broke my heart!! AND on top of that the night before FMIL and I were talking and she made a commnet about one of the women she works with that she would have been perfect for Philip and when I gave her a weird look she said O well that was before you were engaged.. LIKE WHAT!! I am so ready to move (we rent from her) and get far away! I am sooo upset / hurt /angry ugh I cannot function !

Sorry this is long and prob. horribly written but I had to just type!

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i would totally move. you dont need that stress and nosy-ness

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Didn't you learn anything from 'Everybody Loves Raymond'?
Just trying to find a little humor.

I think FH needs to step up and help. If he doesn't feel comfortable doing wedding planning, your child's first birthday party then have him clean the house or cook dinner.
This is what FH and I fight about. I always ask for help and in the end he helps (wish it was before any arguement). I give him a choice of two and three things and as along as he does something I don't care what it is.

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Omg...I'm sorry, that just sucks. Have they always been like that?

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When my parents first got married they bout a house next door to my grandma ( dad's mom) and have lived there ever since. My grandma was always in my mom's business when we were little! If you can i would definitely say to move or to maybe talk to FH about what happened and maybe he can talk to his mom. She and his grandma need to realize that hose comments are not ok and that you have a lot on your plate right now so yes at times you might need a little help.

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What did FH say? This shouldn't be your battle alone. It's his place to defend you.

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Wow.
I would have punched that woman in the face & then I would have punched my fiance' in the head for not sticking up for me!



MOVE. FAR AWAY!

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I agree with the other brides about moving! It's not going to get better over time.. You have to have a serious talk with your FH about sticking up for you and his family! So sorry you're going through all of this!

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Posted by 2013Bride

Wow.
I would have punched that woman in the face & then I would have punched my fiance' in the head for not sticking up for me!



MOVE. FAR AWAY!

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Couldn't have said it better myself!

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OMG I can't even believe someone could be so rude. I'd be deeply offended and with the way I am, would probably hold a huge grudge. I wish i could offer some advice here. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!

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OMG I would be so PISSED!!!! YOu def need to move for your own sanity. Also, I would have FH put his mom and gma in their place because to say those things to you is BEYOND ridiculous!!!

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I'm sorry that happened to you. You are human and it's totally okay for you not to be superwoman and do EVERYTHING. I would talk to FH and explain to him how that made you feel and speak to him about your expectation that he will stand up for you as his wife. I think it's also okay for you to respond to his family when they are rude b/c it's not right. And like everyone else said.... i would move further away. I think it's better to not live too close to the in-laws

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I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

My FMIL makes comments a lot too, when she is overexhausted and taking pain killers. It's hard to ignore, even when you know that FH isn't in agreement with his mother.

My mom told me something once that stuck in my mind. Mothers are very protective of their sons, and a lot have trouble letting go of their baby. A lot of times, the mother of your FH will not think you are doing things as well as she did..

I think moving will only put a bandaid over the bullethole. I think you should confront her about it, but not in an adversarial way. Tell her that you know she didn't mean to hurt you, but she did. Tell her that while you do work and take care of children and have a lot on your plate right now, you'd like to spend more time with her one on one, and if she and his grandmother want to pass down recipes to you, you'd love to try some of them (maybe on a holiday or special occasion). But also, set boundaries. Explain to her that you and FH have a routine, and whether she agrees with it or not, it works for you.

Don't let her get to you too much. It sounds like you are strong and capable, and you don't need to deal with this.

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Posted by KroertGS

What did FH say? This shouldn't be your battle alone. It's his place to defend you.

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I agree. You shouldn't have to deal with people who make assumptions about you and your life, ughhh

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Thanks ladies ! You are making me feel like I am not insane for getting more upset about this every time I think about it LOL GRRR

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Why can't FH cook and clean? Or is it just easier to go home to his mother's?

I would NEVER live next door to either of our families because then I'd feel like we wouldn't be living our own lives. I would definitely move ASAP.

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I can't believe she said that to you! Why can't HE help out?! I despise gender role stereotypes. I hope you have the opportunity to move ASAP! so sorry you have to go through this.. :(