VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

Original post by tiff940

Dec 09, 2007 11:01 PM

I was talking about how much this wedding is costing me and someone (im not even going to go into who ) basically called me stupid (in so many words but not outright) for spending so much. She said why would I spend so much on a wedding when I dont own a house? And what if FH looses his job (not that we think he is but in the business hes in thats always a possibility). Anyway...she made me feel really bad and caused me to start second guessing all of my decisions. Did I take it to far? I feel that I have my whole like to own a house but this wedding is once in a lifetime. Houses will always be there...and even if FH looses his job(once again, not that we think this) we will both start working and though it might take a while but we will own one day. If FHs career keeps going as it is then we will own next year. I dont know...just wanted to know how you feel. I dont care about revealing my number-- its almost 100k! Yes thats 20% down on a 500k house but like I said before houses will always be around. Sorry for rambiling.

Browneyesncute Posted: Dec 10, 2007 01:53 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

Enjoy your wedding day and you planning don't worry about anyone else!

npwedding Posted: Dec 10, 2007 02:04 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

It's no one's business but your own! Enjoy your planning and your big day. You'll have the memories to last a lifetime - you can't put a price tag on that!

Jetfan1521 Posted: Dec 10, 2007 06:18 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

Posted by tiff940

Posted by smplynluv

If you see that its within your budget then don't listen to that other person. Nobody knows how much you two make or how much you've spent. Everyone has their own opinions on how their wedding day should be. We are spending a lot on our wedding as well but its what we want and we know it won't run us into debt or something. Don't worry too much about other peoples' opinions because you'll be getting a lot throughout this whole planning. It's your day and you do what you want.

Thats exactly how I feel...as long as im not putting my wedding on credit cards or taking out loans i dont think its a big deal. Also..Im having 400 guest! Its not like Im having 150 (nothing is wrong with this at all- but Im just explaining why my number is so high). We have alot of family and even more friends.

I am right there with you honey! Our wedding is costing us close to 100k as well...and we also have 400 people! We both wanted this..and it's our decision - and our decision alone. I am sick of people telling me that I could have had a house for that money - your right...But I correct them and say - I will have a house - when we are married! We are in the process now of looking and did put in an offer- then someone made a comment (not from here) like...wow...your family must be paying and helping you out...I was like..NO...FH breaks his a working two jobs so we can do both! Mind your own F *$&*$&$ business...you wish your husband or boyfriend or whoever could do this! LOL UUHH Sorry for the vent!

bella1028 Posted: Dec 10, 2007 06:29 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

I personally think that it is alot of nerve for anyone to comment on what you are spending on what...whose business is it really unless you ask for an opinion? Ignore this person...it is all about what works for you...sounds like this person might be bitter...

GinaBambina08 Posted: Dec 10, 2007 06:31 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

Only you could decide if you're spending too much or not...don't be concerned with other people's opinions (because so many people are definitely willing to offer them ) as long as you're secure in your decision, don't let anyone else faze you..

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Dec 10, 2007 06:50 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

WOw, im sorry this person made you feel liek that.
If you and your FH agreed on a budget, and agreed to spend 100k on hte wedding, that is your choice.

I agree its once in a lifetime, and you can have a house later on. A house is not the end all be all. Its a big purchase, and its alot of responsibility. Just cause you own a home doesnt mean you are going to be happier, or more secure. A house can be a headache, with hassels, and high taxes as well as a mortage.

Look at it this way, if you were able to save up 100k for your wedding in a short amount of time, why wont you be able to save up for a downpayment in a short amount of time?!

Smiley7092 Posted: Dec 10, 2007 07:16 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

I agree with so many of the women on here. I think a lot of it has to do with that person being jealous of you. A lot of money issues stem from jealousy because they can't do it. I personally cannot afford that much but wish I could! It's all about what makes you and your FH comfortable and happy. Mine was having a little bit of a freak out the other day and I told him weddings are expensive lol. Like so many of you said this is a once in a lifetime thing. We are still looking into buying a house after we get married too.

I say don't talk about money issues with people, you can always talk to us! People will ALWAYS have opinions on EVERYTHING! Money related or not! My FIL's think we are spending too much because we are not having a backyard wedding. FH's sister did that but that is not my thing. It's not what I pictured when getting married. I'm not knocking it I just didn't want to have it. So people will always talk about what dresses you are choosing, what colors, the dj, the food, anything they can find to complain about. Just let it roll off your back and have the most wonderful wedding you can!!!!!

MissMath Posted: Dec 10, 2007 07:19 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

As long as you are happy, you do what is right for you and what you believe. Everyone has his/her opinion. My wedding is costing close to 100K and I believe its worth every penny!!! It's your day for you and your husband to remember. If it costs 10K or 100K it doesn't matter....as long as you both are ok with it and its everything you dreamed of!

Snickers76 Posted: Dec 10, 2007 07:38 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

I think it makes sense that a wedding with 400+ guests would cost 100K. My wedding had less than 25% of those guests and cost slightly less than 20K.
(Does that math make sense??)

I agree with the poster who said not to tell people how much money you are spending. People STILL comment on how much I spent on my small wedding. They can shove it. Worth every penny.

Cheryl28 Posted: Dec 10, 2007 08:09 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

what ever you can afford I sya go for it. My wedding is costing a lot as well but we can afford it so we did it. Who cares what someone else thinks...don't let them make you feel like that

smjack Posted: Dec 10, 2007 08:20 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

i agree with what everyone else has been saying. It is none of anyone elses business what you are paying for your wedding. and 100K for 400 people does sound about right- if you were only having about 100 people, that number could potentially go down to 25k (mathematically at least!)

DGoldfarb0776 Posted: Dec 10, 2007 08:51 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

My personal opionion if you can afford it then I say do it- it's your business and if that is what you want to make your day special then so be it- some have said that about my wedding budget and I have to say all I do is listen to them and laugh at them- my budget is about half of yours and honestly I don't plan on doing this all again so I'm just living it up and having it done the way that FH and I feel it's supposed to be.

RKellner Posted: Dec 10, 2007 08:55 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

IN all honesty....
100k is ALOT..... BUT if you can afford it and thats what YOU want... Who cares! Its YOUR wedding.. YOU have to be happy... Dont let anyone upset you with their JEALOUSY! Do what you want and be happy.. Thats ALL that matters!!!!
Feel better hunny!

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: Dec 10, 2007 09:04 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

what you spend is your business and your business only..don't listen to people..that shouldn't stick their heads into something where quite frankly it doesn't belong!

jgl Posted: Dec 10, 2007 09:05 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

this is why its best to keep your mouth closed (and im speaking generically - not directing it towards you) and not tell people your buisness.

gettinghizitched Posted: Dec 10, 2007 09:15 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

As long as your paying cash and not putting it on credit cards than you can afford it. When i'm done with my wedding I plan on buying a house even thou the money that I spent on the wedding would be a nice down payment. LoL. just don't worry about what other people say.

tlp123 Posted: Dec 10, 2007 09:43 PM

Re: VENT: Someone just made me feel really bad....Am I spending to much?

Its your business and no one else's. But if she is making you doubt yourself, perhaps you had some doubt to begin with. If you think you are spending too much, think it through and act accordingly.

But don't let anyone make you feel bad for the way you spend your own money. Its your money and in this country, you have a right to spend it as your choose.