My cousin (who is also my bridesmaid) called me last week to tell me she was engaged. I am soooo happy for her. I find out today that she set her date....for August 2011....2 months before my wedding. I'm a little upset because I was so excited to be the first granddaughter in our family to get married and I sort of feel like she is taking that away from me. Her parents are crazy rich and are paying for the entire thing meanwhile I am paying for most of my wedding on my own so I am also worried that everyone will be comparing the two. Not to mention how expensive it will be for our families and our bridesmaids since most of my bridesmaids will be her bridesmaids too. She deserves to be happy and I would never ruin that by saying anything to her but I just needed to get that off my chest! Thank God for this forum! Has this happened to anyone else?
LKatz1029
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
aww I'm sorry... but don't worry-- your day will still be YOUR day no matter what... (and you can go to her wedding and see what kinds of things she had/didn't have that can make your wedding different and better!)
SoonToBeMrsCali
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
Date twin, don't you worry about your wedding vs. hers... Yours will be perfect for you and your FH..
but that is kinda effed up that she is getting married 2 months before you.
kshea23
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
yeah, I know how you feel. FHs cousins wedding is 2 WEEKS after mine. And her MOH is my bridesmaid, so she has done absolutely NOTHING as far as planning with my MOHs, she's too involved with her sisters wedding. Drives me absolutely crazy and really pisses me off because they just announced her date in November. I've had my date set since March 09 and they even came to my engagement party last May, so they were well aware. Now all I'm worried about is everyone comparing the 2 weddings, and the financial strain that this puts on FHs family
bartgirl12
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
that's poop. sorry. my best friend (also my BM) got engaged right after me but her wedding is booked for 7 months after mine so it's really not the same and i'm no help to you. sorry. you're wedding will kick *ss so don't worry
MrsKon1111
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
Omg that just happened with us with my FH cousin and i thought i was wrong to be upset
I think it is so wrong! I was crying when i found out but it is still MY day and no one is taking that away from me and the same goes for you
Jenn7982
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my cousin just got engaged like a month or two ago, and she set her date 7 weeks aft me! I was a little upset because we have out of towners, that now might have to pick!
jovigirl414
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Oh, I got one for you ...
A family member fought me for the bouquet at a wedding, when I clearly caught it fair and square (it almost went to fisticuffs, lol) and basically rips it out of my hands ... then a year later, I get engaged, announce it, and 5 days later SHE announces her engagement! Now our weddings are two months apart.
I'm not gonna lie, I was annoyed that our engagement thunder was stolen so quickly ... but I totally love this girl, and I'm happy to go over plans together at family gatherings. We are actually closer now than before the wedding wrestling match!
If you are going to say something to her though, maybe just bring up the possible financial burden on the rest of the family. I can totally understand how you feel though. All I can say is try not to let it get the best of you. Your wedding is going to be YOUR big day. Don't let anyone take that away from you.
justnicethings
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
yea, FH's cousin is getting married 3 weeks after me. it doesn't really bother me since it's not my family, but all the coordinating is just annoying. i don't want the same colors as her. and our showers and bachelorette parties have to be carefully planned. it's just annoying. ugh i feel your pain, girl, but i bet your FH is hotter. of course he is!!
CantWait2Wed
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
To be honest this is a little silly. I understand how you feel but think about the bigger picture. She can have her wedding whenever she wants and so can you. Don't sweat it- make your wedding about you and don't let youself compare your day to hers.
anjelagain
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
Its just rude that she would squeeze it in before, but at the same time in her head she might have a reason.
Whatever. Oh, and overly expensive weddings are usually boring ive been to so many of them lol so dont compare yourself ;p
anjelagain
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Posted by Jenn7982
my cousin just got engaged like a month or two ago, and she set her date 7 weeks aft me! I was a little upset because we have out of towners, that now might have to pick!
Right, some of them will def have to pick. Some people are so rude and clueless
FutureJOC
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
I understand you're being initially upset but you're weddings are going to be two entirely different events and both are going to be special in their own way. You can't think people are going to sit there at your wedding comparing the two (and if they are they are jerks - that's not why you go to a wedding). Don't worry. Your wedding is going to be amazing and everyone is going to have a blast.
The only thing I see being an issue is for your OOT guests but you know what - if they want to be there, they will be there.
Yankeeelove
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Something similar happened to me....fh's cousin got engaged after us, even after we booked our wedding, and she still went ahead and booked her wedding for 3 months before ours. But what could you do ya know? I was really annoyed about it at first but now I just try not to think about it. We can't tell anyone when to have their weddings unfortunately lol. It will all be ok, and its true, you can see what she doesn't have at hers and add your own special things to it. I'm actually waiting for her to send her invites out before I order mine bc I'm afraid we're going to have the same invites lol.
Jennielee15
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I know a girl who got engaged, started planning her wedding... Then both her brothers got engaged and married before her big day. I would be so frustrated!
ourwedding9510
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Crashing...
I'm so sorry you feel this way. I just have to express what happened to me because it is SO similar. I got engaged January 2009 and booked our wedding for September 2010. My cousin ended up getting engaged October 2009 and booked her wedding October 2010. It was GREAT going through all of the planning together and comparing what was going on (but also keeping little details to myself). We were both bridesmaids in each others weddings. I'm not going to lie, it got REALLY expensive with paying for our wedding and being in each others.
Her parents paid for everything for her wedding while DH and I had to pay a good chunk of ours. To be honest, it's really not about how much money you spend on a wedding (I've learned this over the past 2 years and going to about 13 weddings), it's about the thought you put into things. My cousin's wedding was beautiful but our tastes are COMPLETELY different. She had a GREAT band but our DJ kicked her band out of the water. We had more of a party and her's was more of a 'tradiational Jewish wedding'. Her dad even mentioned the little details he liked better at my wedding like wedding pictures of all the grandparents and parents, the donation sign, the table numbers that represented DH and me (they were sports stadiums), our slipper baskets, etc.
See, you can help someone and be excited but still have 2 COMPLETELY different weddings. At times I did feel like this time was supposed to be about me BUT being that the weddings were COMPLETELY different and the families did not really compare (to my knowledge) it made it all good and a GREAT experience for the 2 of us to experience together.
Good luck with it all and trust me, just add you and DH into your wedding with little things and you'll be totally fine!
ETA: I just have to add something (sorry this is long) but a friend of mine also got engaged after us (actually 2 of them but one is a complete b*tch and I don't talk to her anymore because to her it was a race down the aisle) and she asked me 'Mike and I really want to have a June wedding and I don't want to do a 2+ year engagment because I don't want to step on your feet, would you mind if we got married before you.' It made me realize that just because I'm getting married in September and decided that I liked Sept, who am I to tell people 'NO! You can't get married before me and you can't get married in the month you want.'
Jennielee15
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
Posted by Yankeeelove
Something similar happened to me....fh's cousin got engaged after us, even after we booked our wedding, and she still went ahead and booked her wedding for 3 months before ours. But what could you do ya know? I was really annoyed about it at first but now I just try not to think about it. We can't tell anyone when to have their weddings unfortunately lol. It will all be ok, and its true, you can see what she doesn't have at hers and add your own special things to it. I'm actually waiting for her to send her invites out before I order mine bc I'm afraid we're going to have the same invites lol.
Yeah! I wouldn't worry about it. Nothing can compare to a BYC wedding!
chreesta
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
Two of FH's cousins decided to get married the same month as us. We've been engaged for two years mind you and they both knew
I just don't understand why people do this.
I would just never think to do that!
IrishAli
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I would most definitely be annoyed, but try not to fret. You two will have totally different weddings (and money doesn't make it better!)
Seriously, the best wedding I've attended was a small 40 person, low key wedding! I understand about the family having to choose, though....but maybe they will choose yours
tac30
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Re: Vent: Stealing my thunder?
Im sorry.......that stinks! But I agree with the other girl. Your day will be YOUR day!
