Walking down the aisle

Okay, I know I've seen a post about this but I figured I'd start another.
My parents have been divorced for about 18 years now. My mom really raised my sister and I. My father and I had a very tumultuous relationship as I grew up...however, in the past 2 years or so, our relationship has gotten 100 times better. Before our relationship got better, I wanted just my mom to walk me down the aisle. Now, I want both to walk me down the aisle.
On Christmas, my dad and I were talking about it, and he didn't ask me who was walking me down..he kinda just told me he was walking me alone. Once I told him that I wanted both of them to walk me down, he became visibly upset. He said well at least I'm the only one dancing with you...ugh to make matters worse, at the end of my wedding, I wanted to dance with my mom to 'Mama's Song' by Carrie Underwood. Obviously the father/daughter dance will be at the beginning of the wedding.

My mom is absolutely fine with just my dad walking me down the aisle, but she has had the largest role in my life. What would you ladies do??

Walking down the aisle

i'm going down alone for pretty much all these reasons. its just easier that way.

Walking down the aisle

I would as your dad would you rather a mother daughter dance or mom walking you down the isle. let him feel more in control and allow things to flow smoothly. sometimes, to keep those relationships you have to make sacrifices!! but he is your dad and you want to keep him happy as well! afterall, you are his daughter! :) I'm not sure my advice is best as my parents are married and my dad and i have a crazy close relationship!! best of luck and i know you will make the best choice!

Walking down the aisle

---

Posted by teacher88

I would as your dad would you rather a mother daughter dance or mom walking you down the isle. let him feel more in control and allow things to flow smoothly. sometimes, to keep those relationships you have to make sacrifices!! but he is your dad and you want to keep him happy as well! afterall, you are his daughter! :) I'm not sure my advice is best as my parents are married and my dad and i have a crazy close relationship!! best of luck and i know you will make the best choice!

---

I think this is a good idea. You may need to pick one to not do with your mom just for the sake of having something special with your dad, with whom you have grown to have a good relationship. But really, it won't matter if you don't walk down the aisle with her or have a dance with her because you have that close relationship and that's the most important thing.

If your dad still gets upset, you can always say that while you love him very much, your mom has been your rock growing up and you want to honor her in some way too.

Re: Walking down the aisle

---

Posted by Lori0413

---

Posted by teacher88

I would as your dad would you rather a mother daughter dance or mom walking you down the isle. let him feel more in control and allow things to flow smoothly. sometimes, to keep those relationships you have to make sacrifices!! but he is your dad and you want to keep him happy as well! afterall, you are his daughter! :) I'm not sure my advice is best as my parents are married and my dad and i have a crazy close relationship!! best of luck and i know you will make the best choice!

---

I think this is a good idea. You may need to pick one to not do with your mom just for the sake of having something special with your dad, with whom you have grown to have a good relationship. But really, it won't matter if you don't walk down the aisle with her or have a dance with her because you have that close relationship and that's the most important thing.

If your dad still gets upset, you can always say that while you love him very much, your mom has been your rock growing up and you want to honor her in some way too.

---

I love all three answers, but Lori, you hit the nail on the head. I agree that my mom would really respect my decision because of the long lasting good relationship we've had. I think my dad is still a bit insecure about our relationship which is why he's so uneasy about my decision.

Walking down the aisle

Maybe you should include him in discussions about the wedding so he'll feel more involved in your day and his insecurities will be more eased. It's really great that your relationship with him is growing at this most important time!

Walking down the aisle

I have had the same issue with my father. My step-father and I have an amazing relationship and my father and I have had a bumpy road. I wanted both of them to walk me down the aisle so I asked them both, my stepfather said absolutely and my father basically said he wasn't comfortable doing that and said no. In a nutshell I told him I wouldn't beg him so my stepfather is going to walk me. My dad wants to do that himself and it isn't fair to my stepfather who was an active parent in my life for over 10 years. HE was there for me through everything and he deserves that spot. My dad chose no and I doubt he will change his mind but at least I have my stepfather :)

Walking down the aisle

I say... have your mom walk with you, also. If she is the person that has had the biggest role in your life and you feel she deserves that honor, then give it to her! It's not fair for your dad to make you feel bad about this or the dance. This is YOUR wedding. You don't want to look back and have any regrets.

Walking down the aisle

I wish all the ladies luck in any family decisions!!!! I feel for all of you and hope everyone builds strong relationships. It's so hard for me to hear these stories my parents and I have a close relationship and me and my dad have an especially close relationship and I depend on him for everything, even taking care of me when I'm sick....At 24 years old! Lol I hope everyone's weddings bring them and their family members closer, not drive a wedge between!!!!

Re: Walking down the aisle

I have a similar situation - my parentss got divorced recently but growing up I never really had a great relationship with my father (I guess you could say there was no relationship)... he had a lot of issues with drinking and whatnot. Since the divorce, my dad and I have had a better relationship but my mom and I are very very close (and like you, she has always been there for us).

I planned on having both of them walk me down the aisle as well. Your dad should understand the situation, and at the end of the day this day is about you. If your mom has been the one there for you you're whole life, why should she have these special moments taken away? At the end of the day (as with my situation), your dad has to recognize the relationship that he had with you in the past and take some responsibility. I think you are being completely fair in the situation. I know its hard bc you don't want anyones feelings to be hurt bc I am the same way.

I also love your idea of having a dance with your mom. This is something I had thought about doing, but I wasn't sure if anyone else had done that. :)