We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

We don't usually spend holidays 100% together, but now, since we're engaged, we figured its time to start. We thought we were starting small with Thanksgiving - I am NOT looking forward to Christmas splitting.

Rich ate with his family, I was at my Grandmother's, 30 minutes away.

The plan was that Rich would leave his house after they ate, come pick me up, stay for a few minutes, and we'd head back to his house for dessert.

When he got to my Grandmother's, he told me that we had to hurry back because his family was leaving shortly (they're much older than my family, we don't see them enough)...

So we left my Grandmother's and went back to his house for pumpkin pie (blech.)

Bottom line: I didn't eat dinner. My family was running late, his was running ahead of schedule, and all the running made me miss Thanksgiving.

So now I'm in my bed crying because I feel like I had the worst Thanksgiving...I was only with my family a short time, I didn't eat ANYTHING, and I feel like Rich couldn't compromise to let me stay a few minutes so I could eat something with my family.

I don't know why this is such a big deal, but I really feel like I've had my worst Thanksgiving ever.

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

AND its our 1 year mark.

POO!

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Awe.................. I don't even know what to say to make you feel better. Wanna come over and have some of my cake??????

Hugs and kisses going your way

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

why don't u do ur family one year and his the next??

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Tricia, that's exactly what I said....but his family, you never know who's going to be around every 2 years. Like I said, they're older...I know it sounds morbid, but its reality.

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

I'm sorry!!! It is hard to split holidays!!! FH and I have not figured out a way to do it either! We spent Thanksgiving with my family, and we are going to split christmas between our familes... Probably Christmas Eve with his family and christmas day with mine... But I know we will get grief from some one.... it is never a simple situation...Get a good night's sleep, and here is a big for you!!!

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Maybe after you and FH are married you can start having some of the holidays at your home.

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

I know it totally stinks. I have the same problem. You guys will work it out so that it goes okay. And, to look at the brightside, think of all those fattening calories you missed out on! You don't feel like the bloated fat pig I feel like! I don't know if that makes you feel better but I'm trying!

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Aw splitting *****... we split it like this :
my family gets thanksgiving and xmas eve
fh family gets xmas day and easter.

that way we try to keep it fair. it's too much to try to see both families on the same day.
I'm sorry your holiday was bad!

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

You should try and tell him how you are feeling. I am sure things were so crazy at his house that he didn't see how upset you were. It happens.
I am sorry you couldn't have a Happier Turkey Day!!!

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Nic have you tried doing every other holiday? One with his, the next with yours and so on. And then swap them the next year. At least then you still get to spend the holidays with both families without losing out one holiday

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

I'm sorry but it needs to be more fair... Meaning, you need to find a way where you can do 50/50. From what you wrote: it was like his side was the ONLY priority... I mean, I understand people are old in his family, OK but you need to see yours too! That's not fair to you, your Mom and Dad and relatives. They should be accomodating too- his family and your family should have asked you what was the best way they could try and make the 'splitting' easier on you two: IE, his Mom could have asked you what time your family was eating and tried to arrange her eating time accordingly to make it easier for you. You both should be together the whole time- eat at one, maybe miss dessert and go to the other house for maybe the tail end of dinner and dessert. Vinny and I did this today and we do it every year. His Mom and my Mom do what they can to make it easier for us... I just think that should be the same way for you: Rich should make your family and your needs a priority...

I'm so sorry that your Thanksgiving was a let down- I hope that in the future you are able to work something out that is better and more fair to you... something that works for everyone!

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

Nicole, I am sorry you missed your Thanksgiving. It is so hard to split time and every holiday it only seems to get harder. It came to a halt a few years ago when I ate three, yes three full Thanksgiving dinners. Between eating with my dad and stepmother, my mom and her family, and then FH's family it was out of control.

Now we alternate. Today FH ate with his family and I ate with mine. FH came over for dessert and then we went and spent time with my dad. X-Mas Eve we go to my aunt's house, and X-Mas AM I am with my dad, brothers, and stepmom, then I head over to FH's house for the rest of the day. It is hard to split holidays, but it has to be fair for both people.

You guys should work out a strategy for X-Mas and see if it work for both of you. It is usually trial and error, and soon enough you will be able to find a medium ground. Happy Thanksgiving!

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

I'm sorry to hear about your Thanksgiving. I just realized how hard splitting the holidays can be this year too. We figured we would spend the holidays together this year now that we are engaged. We figured we would eat at his family's and then go to my mom's for dessert. I used to split time between my dad and step mom's and my mom and step dad's. Now I had to skip seeing my dad and since dinner was served so late at his aunt's we had to wolf down some food and leave to try and get to my mom's for dessert. I think his family felt we were being rude by cutting out like that. I had family in from out of town that I wanted to see and got to see them all of two minutes before they had to leave since we finally got there so late. Ended up missing dessert too...my favorite part after the turkey of course. I hope I learn to master this holiday splitting soon.

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

awwww.sweety after you get married hopefully it will be easier. u will live in the same house and go places together... U will be able to say ok dinner with one and dessert with the others or.. this holiday here the other holiday there. I know its hard to split holidays.. me and FH have been thgouh it to but now i think we have it down. lol..
Im sorry u had a bad thanksgiving but look at it this way... a year from today u will be waking up in the bed next to ur DH

Re: We haven't mastered splitting the holidays fairly.

If it's any consolation, my Thanksgiving s*cked too! I was in tears on the way home. We went to FH's aunt's for dinner and my parent's house for dessert. While it may not seem that bad, I hate the constant running around -- it stresses me out to no end because I feel like I can't relax. I think next year we might start alternating, so we spend the whole day at one family's house. I hate the running around part!