Wedding blues...

I've talked about this before, but I can't stop worrying about it. It's 9 months from today until our wedding. I'm really looking forward to it except I don't know how we're going to come up with at least $20K??? Back in Feb. when we started planning, I thought things would be so different than how they really are right now. I'm still unable to find a job, and my fiance's job pays the bills barely. My mom is going to be paying for about $8,000 of it. I don't even think the $20K includes a honeymoon. I just don't know what we're going to do? To me 9 months is far away, but to come up with $, it's not at all. Anyway, last night my fiance and I were joking around about getting married soon without spending all this money. To be honest, it sounded like a great idea, but I know I would regret it later on. That big beautiful wedding dream. Also since we've been planning it for over 9 months now already, it's hard to just say never mind. I don't know. I just can't see us spending that much on a wedding even though we only do it once. (Besides not being able to come up with the money) I mean we've been together for over 8 years, and living together for over 2 1/2 years. We're practically already married. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting depressed, and worried about not finding a job, and not being able to come up with the money? I know it's not possible, but if we could cut at least a few thousand, maybe 5 thousand from our wedding costs that would help. Thanks for listening, I needed to vent.

Wedding blues...

Do you have a minimum at your place? if not, slashing some guests if at all possible is the quickest way to save a big chunk of money, or- and this may be a little drastic- if your wedding is a Saturday, would you be able to switch to the Friday? Thats at least $5000 right there...

Wedding blues...just something to think about

Melissa I can see the financial burden of this wedding is really worrying you and that you really want your dream wedding. But you also really need to think about your futre and your piece of mind. Have you spoken to a financial planner? You need to figure out how much you can realisticly save in the next 9 months and then look at how much you are willing to finance and for how long. There are lots of ways to get your budget in check and stick to it. I am sure the creative ladies on this board will offer many suggestions. What are you locked into at this point and what is still open?

soolie...

Well... The minimum at our place is 100. We're having trouble coming up with a hundred. Also, our wedding is on a Friday night already. We're paying $75.00 pp. That's not including taxes. So it's going to be around $10,000 for our reception. I don't think there's anyway of cutting those costs. Thanks for trying... :(

Fran...

As of right now we can't save a nickel. Since I'm only working part-time, we can't save anything. And that P/T money goes all to food, gas, etc. All necessities. None of this was suppose to happen. I've never had a problem getting a job. Any job that I've applied for, I've gotten. But now since that to every job there is for me, 300 other people are also applying. Even here in North Carolina, I can't get a job. I was suppose to be working full-time since August. So we should of have at least $3,000 saved already. We did have extra money in the bank too, but that didn't last long. When you need to pay in bills, more than you have, you go broke very easily. Anyway, this is just horrible. My fiance and I have been living down here for 2 1/2 years. We've been doing so well up until 6 months ago. It's pretty sad when you can't afford to make a living even in North Carolina. It's not that much cheaper, but it is in a lot of ways.

What about a loan?

Initially we were thinking about taking out a loan, then decided that we will take money out of Rob's annuity fund if we absolutely have to, that way we're only paying ourselves back and not a bank. However, I did see a sign in the window at HSBC bank that their loans have a 1.5%lower interest rate than what the regular rate is. Go to their website, www.hsbc.com and it'll give you numbers to call to find out about their loans. Good luck!

I understand

I totally understand what you are saying. I have been stressed out lately about being able to afford the wedding. We have thought about using candles as our centerpieces and making them ourselves to save costs there. I also asked my grandmother if I could use her wedding band (my grandfather passed away and my grandmother is remarried). It's sentimental and it saves some money as well. Also instead of giving everyone a favor, we are donating to a charity. It's still a few hundred dollars, but it's less then we would've spent on something for our guests to take home, and it goes for a good cause. A friend of mine also made her invites on her computer instead of ordering them, and they turned out lovely. Also, I've been to a wedding were instead of having live music during the cocktail hour, the bride and groom made a CD and had it pumped through the catering hall's sound system. I know these aren't big cost savers, but they might help a little. Please think long and hard before giving up the wedding of your dreams....

Wedding blues...

I'm really sorry to hear that... but you can definitely cut your costs in other areas... 1. I'm doing my own centerpieces. 2. Making my own favors (CD) 3. I'm decorating the ceremony area Etc.. Its going to be more work for me, but at the end will cost us alot less. If you or fiance have a 401K Plan, you could always dip into that. Can you move your wedding to a later date? Hang in there!!!!

Fran...

Ok, additional savings are out - so lets get down to some real cost savings business. The suggestions received so far are great - the guest list is your biggest cost saver ( I see you are already booked for a Friday night ) keep to your room minimum as hard as that might be. And remember even after you have received acceptances there are some people that wont show, so you can go a little over. - What else have you booked besides the hall?

re; wedding blues

I understand how you are feeling. I have been wondering where on earth we are going to come up with all this cash. Like Fran said, these are all good suggestions. Other things I can think of are..... Booking the photographer but ordering the albums after the wedding. Check out David's for Dresses. I was there last month and they had some lovely gowns that were pretty inexpensive. They even have $99 sales! Check E-bay, going out of business sales, and 99cent stores or odd lot type stores for things to use for favors and decorations. I was just reading an article in the Oct/Nov Bride magazine about how to slash costs. Some of their suggestions are: limit the amount of liquor served, only beer, wine, soda. Cut a course out of the dinner. After cocktail hour most people don't need an appetizer, salad, dinner, dessert and pastries. Can you talk to your catering manager about maybe offering 2 dinner choices instead of 3? Or what about a buffet or a cocktail reception? Using a corporate limo company that may be less expensive with no minimum time required. There were more but this is all I can remember that hasn't been mentioned already.

Wedding blues...just something to think about

First of all....why did you plan on such a huge wedding without knowing how you can pay for it? I'm not putting you down, every woman dreams of this fantasy wedding. But reality is your future is more important thank your wedding. You need to be practical. Someone said taking out a loan??? NO!!! Don't start you marriage in debt. My wedding will be very nice, but samll. For a nicer wedding I chose less guests. It's a fact most marriages end because of money, don't go there.... :)

Fran...

I've booked my priest, photographer, videographer and DJ. This Christmas we're supposed to book our honeymoon, florist, limos, do the tuxedos, and bridesmaids dresses. I'm trying to see if we can cut costs somewhere with our Photos and video, but it's a very hard decision. Our packages are really nice. At this point I don't even know if we'll be able to afford a honeymoon. :( That really upsets me. What's a wedding without a honeymoon? Right now, I'm scared to death to go on an airplane. So I don't know what we're going to do?

Some more ideas

Ok so you have the things you need for a great party - the site and the music. What else is on your MUST have list? Would you be able to do without a professional videographer and just stick to that great album and a homemade video. Im sure you know someone who could capture the day on tape for you. And a friend or family member adds a personal touch or view point that a stranger will never get. To tell you the truth I would not have missed the limo at all. Do you have a friend or family member that would be willing to be your driver for the day? How about skipping the florist completely for the reception and using candles or potted flowers. You can still carry beautiful fresh flowers yourself. Do you have any crafty friends that might be able to help out with flower. Ebay and Davids are also great suggestions. I got my gloves, tiara and pew bows on Ebay. I'll keep thinking

Some more ideas (long)

Trust me when I say I understand how stressed you are getting. If your Mom is giving you $8,000 that almost pays for the reception site. 100 people x $75.00 each. So you need money for the rest. I am also doing all the 'little' money savers like not getting my nails done every week, we bring lunch 4 out of 5 days a week, not seeing so many movies. But in the end that saves not enough! I would NOT take money out of your 401K right now or take out a big loan. I would consider getting another P/T job, especially this time of year. You can work 3 days at the mall or something. Use that money 100% for savings. 25hours X 6.50/hour is $162.50. That will help you save almost $400 a month. Use your own CD for the cocktail hour is a great idea! Also, potted plants are really nice centerpieces! They do not look cheap or tacky. Don't do favors. Everyone who loves you will understand and not care one bit. If you must do them, make them small votives (Micheals has them on sale 4 for $1) wrapped in tulle with a ribbon. Speak to your vendors, they all must understand about the job problem right now. There are lots of people in your situation. Ask your video person if he/she can tape just the ceremony and first hour of the wedding instead of the whole affair. Dance with your parents during that time to make sure it is on tape. Ask the photographer to give you a smaller package and give your parents smaller albums. Rent a town car for you and your husband. Ask the bridal party to use their own cars. They WILL understand because they love you and our your friends! Do not add any extras to your reception such as expresso bar. If you already did take it off. Speak with the hall. Maybe you can serve only chicken and fish instead of a steak choice. Things like that really add up quick. Do your own invites. When you think about it, 99% of your guests throw them away after the wedding. Why spend hundreds for them? Have you considered having a small, intimate wedding now (just very close friends and immediate family), going on your honeymoon and then throwing a big bash for your 5 year anniversary? I know it is hard to think of and it is NOT fair that you cannot find a job. I was laid-off this past summer and cried all the time worrying about our wedding plans. But the important thing is that you are getting married, not how big the party is. If you are afraid to fly consider doing a driving tour of New England. It is beautiful all year long and you can stay in B&Bs, which are very romantic. Don't worry it will all get worked out. Someone it does. Also, don't go crazy with Holiday shopping. Set a small limit for all gifts and stick to it. That is a big savings area.

kristine...

We're not having a huge wedding. The minimum is 100 guests. We don't even know if we can come up with that many people. Right now, we can't. Also, when we decided to have the wedding was back in February. We were making good money then. Everything was great. Then the tragedy on Sept. 11 happened and everyone I know including my family all lost their jobs. So no, I would never plan something so expensive knowing we would have no money. It just turns out, that right now we have no money. And it's not anyone's fault. The economy is horrible. My family and I wasn't planning on losing our jobs, it just happened. There's nothing we can do about it. We looked at places, and the smallest minimum we found was 100 people. I don't want to have my wedding in a VFW Hall. My fiance's sister did that for her Sweet Sixteen. We'd like to take a step up from there.

More Ideas (long)

DO NOT TAKE OUT A LOAN! There is no better feeling than coming home after the wedding and not having ANY debts. Trust me. You`ll feel awful if you come home from your wedding reception and start thinking about what you owe. I did a small wedding. It`s great cause you get to spend time with all your guests. Here are some cost cutters: If you have your hall, see if you can do a Sunday Brunch. It will cut $10/15 off per person - that`s 1000 to 1500! Sunday is not as popular and brunches are a whole lot less. No favors, no one really cares. Inexpensive invites - you can do them on the computer or get simple from Rexcraft (or the like) 100 simple invites will cost you about $100. Plus stamps. Cut as much from you flower budget as possible. Flowers are a huge expense. Cut you bridal party (if you have one) this = to less $$ on flowers, gifts, stress (very important!), and limos. Consider having the ceremony at the site - then you don`t need limos at all. You can have one pick you up afterwards if you must. Dress: get an inexpensive dress. there are lots to choose from. Borrow if you know someone - maybe mom? Hey, you never know. If my mom had hers I would have gladly worn it. Just for tradition sake. Video - have them only do the ceremony & 1st hour or so of reception. We didn`t have a pro, my cousin taped the ceremony. It was all we needed. We barely look at it anyway. In over a year, we`ve looked at it three times. Photos: Get your parents folios instead of albums. They`ll understand and by the time you are ready to do you album, you may have more $$ to spend and can get more. If they insist on an album, have them pay for it. Honeymoon - do something small and local. B&B or even camping, if you`re the type. Especially if you are scared of flying. Take a long weekend at a B&B near the beach or a lake. Something you`ll both enjoy. Honeymoons used to be Niagara Falls. Not the Bahamas. Go retro! And finally, keep you eye on the ball. Prioritize but remember that your $$ situation will dictate what you can and can`t do. Advice from an old married lady: don`t take out a loan!! You will regret that more than not having a large fancy wedding. AND don`t count on the $$ from gifts. Someone once posted that they cashed a cerditcard check a few days before the wedding and were planning on paying it off with the money they made form wedding gifts. That`s silly. You may not get as much $$ and you`ll end up having to pay 19% interest. Sit back and do some math. If you don`t have the $$, then change what your 'dream wedding' is to something you can afford. That is reality. We can`t always afford what we want. Good luck and be wise about how you spend your money. Hey, you could always do a destination wedding and have a backyard party when you get back. Good luck!

Fran...

Hello. I feel your pain and I am realy sorry. But I don't understand.Why don't you take things more slowly and give yourself to get back on your feet! You don't have to put so much pressure on yourself for something that will come together in the future. Now I under stand things are going bad for you but if I where you I wouldn't think about it and then before you know it everything will be just as you want it to be.

Reality Check Time

Please....everyone, don''t respond to this past post. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and although her''s isn''t very welcome here, I guess she has a right to express it. In the past, there have been many negative women like her, they burn out after a while. Lorib is going to continue her nasty posts if we keep adding fuel to her fire. Don''t waste your time.

LORIB..

I don't know who the **** you think you are, but keep your rude and nasty comments to yourself. If all that your going to do is cause trouble here, than stay off this web page. Your opinions are not wanted. You probably aren't even a bride, just someone that has no life of their own, and needs to cause problems. Maybe even a past wanna be bride that has caused previous problems. So how about GETTING A LIFE!!! Do you even know what true love is? Or even what a soul mate is? My relationship is worth a lot more than yours will ever be. If you are a bride, your man should sign a prenup, because you'll be divorced in less than 3 months after your married. Wait until he sees your attitude. GET A LIFE!!!

AmyG... Ooops... Your right...

It's too late, I already responded. I just hit the Post message button, and then I saw your post. I just can't stand people like that. I know I saw a while ago people having arguments with her, but I didn't read them because she was just a trouble maker. But then for her to respond like that to something that is really bothering me, I just can't sit back that easily. Happy Planning!