AmyG... Ooops... Your right...

I agree, it is hard to sit back, and not respond, especially when the attack is on you. What would be harder though, is for her to continue her nastiness when everyone ignores her :) I never post here, but I have been reading what everyone has to say for months now, I just could not let another thing like this go by, I had to say something...ok, back to being my lurker self :)

Melissa...You are very much in reality

I just wanted to give you a quick note to say that I do not think your post was at all full of materialism. You are also not a sinner! You just want to have the wedding you pictured. We ALL want that. Even really poor girls, still want a special wedding. Keep the faith. It will all get figured out!!!

Melissa...You are very much in reality

Thanks so much guys. Your suggestions are all very helpful. I'm going to have to go through them all again, so I don't forget what was said. Thanks so much! Good luck, and Happy Planning!!!

Melissa - Hang in there!

I can understand your feeling overwhelmed by the cost of everything for the wedding, especially with the turmoil in your life. I don`t think you should panic .. you still have time for things to work out the way you have dreamed about it. But, just be prepared to start cutting corners. Rather than first looking to cut back photo and video, see if you can cut back on flowers. Your photos and video will be your way of looking back at the day, not just now, but years from now. Think about 25 years from now, or 50 years from now. The flowers are a one-shot deal, and will wilt in a matter of days. Of course, different people have different priorities. If you`re not the kind to look back fondly on old photos or video, than maybe cutting back in that area is the way to go for you. Flowers can be costly, and you can definitely find some creative alternatives for centerpieces. As for the bouquets .. simple can be elegant. For boutineers, some places include them free of charge. Is there any way you can postpone doing tuxedos and flowers til a later time? Tuxedos can be done in the final few months before the wedding. And you should be able to find a good florist six months out. Definitely take a look around for ideas when you come up for Christmas, but maybe hold off on signing anything for right now .. this will limit your obligations. If you don`t have your heart set on a particular type of limo, you could also hold back on this for a couple of months. Consider different options for favors, with different price ranges. Don`t purchase anything just yet. Give yourself a schedule to see how you`re doing by a certain date before choosing which favor to go with. Regarding the honeymoon .. don`t feel the need to do something exotic. There is so much to see and do so close to Long Island. But again, this is one of those things you probably have time to decide on. We didn`t book our honeymoon until about one month prior to the wedding. But we just went up to Mohonk Mt. in New Paltz. It was an expensive place, but figured had we done a cruise or some other extravagant journey, we would have spent much more. The place was so great, we`re planning to go back each year for our anniversaries, if possible. As for taking out a loan, I would think that would be an absolute last resort. Like you said, it already costs too much for weddings as it is .. I mean, we`re dumping thousands of dollars on an affair that lasts little more than half the day for most of the people attending, with the exception of the families, wedding party and bride and groom. You don`t want to be paying interest, no matter how low, on top of the already inflated costs. And don`t forget credit cards! Keep in mind what your interest rates are on those before making substantial charges on them. Obviously it`s great to book and sign early, but there are some things you can hold back on. And just remember, there are lots of capable businesses that can help make your dream a reality if you should come across someone who is already booked for your date. Good Luck!!

Melissa...one more idea if your still listening

My sister in law made my vail for about $20.00. I had a cathedral length trimed in ribbon and pearls and a double tier elbow/fingertip length. Macys wanted $300.00 for it. I would be glad to help or even make one for you if you decide to go that route.

This will stop on Monday

I guarantee, once the moderators read these posts, lorib won't be able to post here anymore. Hopefully, 'she' will be banned. If you don't know this already, they can track who's posting under which name, so it will stop soon.

post is gone already

I didn't see it, but its gone...on to more important issues....money!! A friend of mine got married in august at the swan club for under 15000. It can be done. Her DJ was 600, photog was 1200, flower centerpieces were 50 each...and we had a great time and it was very elegant. We are delaying our honeymoon for festivals in Spain. Instead we are driving to either he Hamptons or Montauk, and since it will be monday to thurs (mini honeymoon) prices will not be as bad. My uncle offered to video tape (although we are getting a professional - that is a great option). My photog offers a video for 600-700 raw footage. We are not using limos, b/c we are getting married at the hall. My cousin only had a car for her and her husband and we didn't mind driving to the reception ourselves. (she was in med school and money was a huge deal) flowers: you can find a florist that can use in season less expensive flowers. a bunch of daisies gathered with a ribbon is really nice... you can use potted plants as centerpieces and then use them as favors. speaking of favors, a coworkers daughter decided not to have favors...it wasn't even a money isse - she just thought that everyone throws them out anyway (or collects dust.) but I love the idea of wrapping a votive in tulle. maybe you could get out of your hall. While 75pp is reasonalbe for LI, there are halls for less...but check forst to see how much deposit you would lose. I am not taking out a loan, but am not against the idea. I unfortunately will be entering my marriage with student loans and there is nothing I can do about it. getting a holiday retail PT job is a great option, it will only be a short time and you can save a little extra. also tell family and friends - no gifts for christmas...either way...if your family members are having financial problems too they might be in favor of this. as for bridesmaids gifts...my cousin got me a framed poem, which will do. there are tons of things you don't need at a wedding that can help you save and noone will know the difference best of luck

kristine...

OK... how much is your wedding, and where are you having it??? If you havent gotten too far off with the plans you could change some things. I have found some great deals.....

kristine...

We're getting married at the Port Jefferson Country Club. The reception alone will be at least $9,500 for 100 people. I really would like to find somewhere for 75 people, and cheaper pp. We're paying with tax around $90 pp.

Do NOT spent all that money

As a recent bride who very aggressively tried to keep costs down, but STILL nonetheless went nearly double over budget, I urge you to sharply scale down your plans, slash your guest list by 2/3, get the dress at David's and don't spend all your money on one day, no matter how much of a dream it's been for you. We had (I think) an elegant, successful,lovely wedding but, in retrospect, what mattered was the grins of the few people I really loved, and how happy my husband and I have been since. I feel absolutely ridiculous having spent that much on the event.

Do NOT spent all that money

I got my dress from David's Bridal, had a coupon and saved 150. As I watch people's wedding videos, I realized it is almost silly to have a man stand on the dance floor hold a camera and pay him 1300. Instead my brother has always been into veiwing the world through his camera and with the 1300 we are saving I am going to get a new MAC with the IMOVIE so I can edit out my video and have a new computer. It is suppose to be 'the big day' but there are many days after that, where I personally know I will enjoy my wedding more knowing I did not go inot debt. I don't know to what level my good time would have to reach to feel I am getting my 20K worth. We made cds as our favors. Cocktail hr is at my mother's house, we just hired 2 waitresses to come and serve, so we saved on that hour, by having a 4 hr reception. we also moved it earlier in the day, at 6pm and the dj gave us a better rate as well as the hall. We are driving thru New England for honeymoon, our tahiti vaca can wait till an anniversary

kristine...

That's pretty expensive. I had a hard time finding a place for under a 100 people. I am only having up to 75. I did find some though. West Sayville was under $3000 for 50 people. That was a package which I am sure you can alter to save money. Araiana Waterfalls...$39 per person for 75 guests, $45 per person for 50 guests. If you have a wedding through Jan-March, it goes lower. I don't know if I mentioned.. I am pretty sure I am going with Wyndham for $53 per person. This includes suite for us the night of wedding, also cake and a few others. The work with you on prices. We took out a few things to save money. If you want more info you can email me at [email protected]