wedding blues...

Am I the only bride whose mother fights her EVERY step of the way? It's like anytime I get excited about something she shoots me down.

For example, tonight, I come home from a 9 hour work day and the shower drain is clogged and my father is in the process of fixing it. I ended up going to my WW meeting and then to dinner with FH like we always do on Wednesdays.

I come home and she's pissed at me because I didn't help unclog the drain and once again is vowing not to be involved in anything to do with my wedding.

The worst part is that it hurts. She's pulled stuff like this on me and my sister for as long as I can remember. All I wanted was to share this whole planning process with her. But if happen to slip up and not do something that she TELLS me to do she goes into this frenzy.

It just makes me so unexcited about the wedding. I know I can do everything on my own and I technically don't NEED her there but it just hurts to hear that she doesn't want to be involved for such silly reasons. And believe me it's not the type of situation where it's empty threats. She will and does refuse to go places and if we make her then she is just has this miserable attitude and ruins the day.

I hate it, and I'm jealous of every girl who has a mother who is excited about her wedding....there I said it.

I'm so sorry you're going through this

You really need to have a serious talk with your mom and tell her exactly what you typed.

I hope everything works out

so sorry

maybe sitting down with her and having a serious heart to heart, maybe she'll see what shes doing

i've had more heart to hearts then I can count on my fingers and toes in the past 24 years of my life with this woman.

It's just the way she is and it s u c k s.

Im very lucky cause my mom is very go with the flow. If im excited about something, then shes excited about it too. I thank my lucky stars for that.

Im sorry that youre having such a rough time with her. Heres a hug!

So sorry...dont let her rain on your parade. You only get to be a bride once!!! It does stink when things dont work out exactly how you thought, but focus on all the good stuff...your gonna be a bride!! This is gonna sound really superficial but whatever...when I'm having a bad day I just look down at my ring. It seriously reminds me that I have someone who loves me and wants to share their life with me...its pretty powerful sentiment that always lifts my spirits...and the bling factor doesnt hurt either!!

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope it gets better, try to talk to her if she will try to listen to your thoughts.


I love my parents so much more that i dont live with them. We never fight, we have our own separate lives. When i tell my mom or dad about what im planning on doing, they just listen and say that sounds nice.

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Posted by irishsweetheart

i've had more heart to hearts then I can count on my fingers and toes in the past 24 years of my life with this woman.

It's just the way she is and it s u c k s.

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how is your dad about all this? maybe if he talks to her she might understand, maybe?

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by irishsweetheart

i've had more heart to hearts then I can count on my fingers and toes in the past 24 years of my life with this woman.

It's just the way she is and it s u c k s.

---

how is your dad about all this? maybe if he talks to her she might understand, maybe?

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lol my dad doesn't have a bone in his body to fight her. nothing against him - I love him to death - but she has so much control over him, anytime he says something to stick up for me or my sister she makes his life miserable.

im sorry lori-ann
i agree with denise - maybe having a serious heart to heart with her so she can hear and see how her words effect you

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Posted by chrispar

Awww so sorry to hear that. Maybe she is just afraid of losing her control on your life. Are you the baby?

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yea I'm the baby, but she acts the same way with my sister.

She is afraid of losing control though. That is one thing that she has ALWAYS had. She is the matriarch of the family. Both her parents and my father's parents died before I was born. When her mother died she basically took control over her younger sister and brother and that control is something which has spread throughout the rest of the entire family with the greatest grip of control around me, my sister and my father.

If she doesn't get her way, watch out.

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Posted by irishsweetheart

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by irishsweetheart

i've had more heart to hearts then I can count on my fingers and toes in the past 24 years of my life with this woman.

It's just the way she is and it s u c k s.

---

how is your dad about all this? maybe if he talks to her she might understand, maybe?

---

lol my dad doesn't have a bone in his body to fight her. nothing against him - I love him to death - but she has so much control over him, anytime he says something to stick up for me or my sister she makes his life miserable.

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Is there anyone else that she's close to that could possibly talk to her? Does she have a sister or brother that she's close with and someone that you can confide in?

I just want to say that even though I'm jealous of a bunch of you girls who get to have that 'mother-daughter' wedding planning experience, I still love you all.

Anytime I need a hug I know you girls are there.

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Posted by megzzie

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Posted by irishsweetheart

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by irishsweetheart

i've had more heart to hearts then I can count on my fingers and toes in the past 24 years of my life with this woman.

It's just the way she is and it s u c k s.

---

how is your dad about all this? maybe if he talks to her she might understand, maybe?

---

lol my dad doesn't have a bone in his body to fight her. nothing against him - I love him to death - but she has so much control over him, anytime he says something to stick up for me or my sister she makes his life miserable.

---

Is there anyone else that she's close to that could possibly talk to her? Does she have a sister or brother that she's close with and someone that you can confide in?

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She has a sister and a brother and they both know what is going on. Her sister (my aunt) lives upstairs. She hears the things that are said and I've confided in her a lot over the years but even she knows and has told me 'Lori don't let it get to you. That's just the way she is and you can't let it get to you all the time'

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Posted by irishsweetheart

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Posted by chrispar

Awww so sorry to hear that. Maybe she is just afraid of losing her control on your life. Are you the baby?

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yea I'm the baby, but she acts the same way with my sister.

She is afraid of losing control though. That is one thing that she has ALWAYS had. She is the matriarch of the family. Both her parents and my father's parents died before I was born. When her mother died she basically took control over her younger sister and brother and that control is something which has spread throughout the rest of the entire family with the greatest grip of control around me, my sister and my father.

If she doesn't get her way, watch out.

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Yea it sounds like a control issue. Try not to let it get to you or at least try not to show her that it bothers you if thats what the issue is. Maybe if you manipulate the situation a little bit she will stop. Reverse Psychology usually works like a charm.

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Posted by chrispar

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Posted by irishsweetheart

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Posted by chrispar

Awww so sorry to hear that. Maybe she is just afraid of losing her control on your life. Are you the baby?

---

yea I'm the baby, but she acts the same way with my sister.

She is afraid of losing control though. That is one thing that she has ALWAYS had. She is the matriarch of the family. Both her parents and my father's parents died before I was born. When her mother died she basically took control over her younger sister and brother and that control is something which has spread throughout the rest of the entire family with the greatest grip of control around me, my sister and my father.

If she doesn't get her way, watch out.

---

Yea it sounds like a control issue. Try not to let it get to you or at least try not to show her that it bothers you if thats what the issue is. Maybe if you manipulate the situation a little bit she will stop. Reverse Psychology usually works like a charm.

---

I really have come a long way and have developed a pretty tough skin. Most of the things she says I just let roll and don't pay attention to. It's just getting over her uninterest in the wedding that I have yet to conquer

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Posted by irishsweetheart

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Posted by megzzie

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Posted by irishsweetheart

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Posted by Espo22

---

Posted by irishsweetheart

i've had more heart to hearts then I can count on my fingers and toes in the past 24 years of my life with this woman.

It's just the way she is and it s u c k s.

---

how is your dad about all this? maybe if he talks to her she might understand, maybe?

---

lol my dad doesn't have a bone in his body to fight her. nothing against him - I love him to death - but she has so much control over him, anytime he says something to stick up for me or my sister she makes his life miserable.

---

Is there anyone else that she's close to that could possibly talk to her? Does she have a sister or brother that she's close with and someone that you can confide in?

---

She has a sister and a brother and they both know what is going on. Her sister (my aunt) lives upstairs. She hears the things that are said and I've confided in her a lot over the years but even she knows and has told me 'Lori don't let it get to you. That's just the way she is and you can't let it get to you all the time'

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see my dad is like that, it always has to be his way. Im trying to think how i handle him but honestly we just end up yelling at eachother so dont think that is too helpful.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by irishsweetheart

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Posted by megzzie

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Posted by irishsweetheart

---

Posted by Espo22

---

Posted by irishsweetheart

i've had more heart to hearts then I can count on my fingers and toes in the past 24 years of my life with this woman.

It's just the way she is and it s u c k s.

---

how is your dad about all this? maybe if he talks to her she might understand, maybe?

---

lol my dad doesn't have a bone in his body to fight her. nothing against him - I love him to death - but she has so much control over him, anytime he says something to stick up for me or my sister she makes his life miserable.

---

Is there anyone else that she's close to that could possibly talk to her? Does she have a sister or brother that she's close with and someone that you can confide in?

---

She has a sister and a brother and they both know what is going on. Her sister (my aunt) lives upstairs. She hears the things that are said and I've confided in her a lot over the years but even she knows and has told me 'Lori don't let it get to you. That's just the way she is and you can't let it get to you all the time'

---

see my dad is like that, it always has to be his way. Im trying to think how i handle him but honestly we just end up yelling at eachother so dont think that is too helpful.

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lol I'm laughing because that's how things end up with my mother. She'll say something and then I'll answer and then she'll disagree and then we'll just start yelling. Least I'm not entirely alone. lol

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Posted by irishsweetheart

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Posted by chrispar

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Posted by irishsweetheart

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Posted by chrispar

Awww so sorry to hear that. Maybe she is just afraid of losing her control on your life. Are you the baby?

---

yea I'm the baby, but she acts the same way with my sister.

She is afraid of losing control though. That is one thing that she has ALWAYS had. She is the matriarch of the family. Both her parents and my father's parents died before I was born. When her mother died she basically took control over her younger sister and brother and that control is something which has spread throughout the rest of the entire family with the greatest grip of control around me, my sister and my father.

If she doesn't get her way, watch out.

---

Yea it sounds like a control issue. Try not to let it get to you or at least try not to show her that it bothers you if thats what the issue is. Maybe if you manipulate the situation a little bit she will stop. Reverse Psychology usually works like a charm.

---

I really have come a long way and have developed a pretty tough skin. Most of the things she says I just let roll and don't pay attention to. It's just getting over her uninterest in the wedding that I have yet to conquer

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What if you dont talk about the wedding with her at all, never bring it up around her or anything...see alot of tough people put on an act but deep down inside they do care...I think once you leave her out of it she will care and feel hurt. SOme people just like having a negative answer about everything and have a hard time expressing themselves, do something to try and bring that out. Who knows it might work