Wedding Budget Laugh

Just thought I would post what I read in Readers Digest this morning-- (now I know that this is an average for the US but come on..) Reception 7246 Rings 4042 Photo/Video 1263 Gown 790 Flowers 775 Music 745 Invite 374 MOB Dress 198 Other(veil/limo/fees/etc) 3441 Total 18,874 for 186 guests!!!! Some of it can be realistic--but how are you feeding that many people on 7246!!! Just thought everyone would enjoy another perspective

Actually

Acutally anywhere out of the New York/Long Island/ New Jersey area, this is a pretty resonable price for a wedding. I helped my best friend plan her wedding in Orlando Florida and her wedding came to a grand total of 8 grand. Not too shabby hugh?

Wedding Budget Rant

Ha! This is a good laugh, Laura. But, we have to remember that outside of NY, NJ and CT, most wedding receptions are buffet dinners, and do not include elaborate cocktail hour buffets. So, it is entirely reasonable to feed close to 200 people on $7200 or less even. I have to rant, now = I think that Long Island, in particular, is extremely overboard with weddings and other affairs. People around here have elaborate parties for sweet sixteens and bar mitzvahs, christenings and engagement parties. It's out of hand, and every year that goes by, raises the 'standard' for the years to come. This is what gives so many brides anxiety - especially if they have a tiny budget. Vendors make brides feel like they can't do things simple or understated - they have to go all out. It's simply ridiculous!

Wedding Budget Rant....here's mine!

MiniBride, I couldn't agree more! I have been living near Rochester, NY for the past year after living on Long Island my entire life. I can honestly say that I don't even enjoy coming back to LI for visits. The more and more that I read this message board, the more I realize that I never want to live on LI again. That might sound harsh, but talk to others who have left the Island and I guarantee you that they feel the same way! I also would not like to live upstate my whole life (nothing but farmland) however the people I have met up here so far have been the most thoughtful, honest, genuine and caring people I have ever known. Weddings up here are about celebrating love with your family and friends, not about putting on a show for your 300 closest friends. My good friend up here had a beautiful wedding this past June for well under $10,000. Why do Long Islanders feel the need to spend their life savings on a party that will last 5 hours? It boggles my mind. My friends from Boston spent $30 a head for a sit down dinner at their wedding and my friends from Seattle spent even less. I hope I am not offending anyone, but I have been dying to vent about this for weeks. :) Some of you might be asking 'well why the heck are you having a wedding down on LI? and honestly it's because my MOTHER feels the pressures of LI society to have a really nice wedding. My wedding will not nearly be as extravagant as most people's and thats fine with me. You could buy a HOUSE upstate NY for the amount of money that some people are spending on their wedding. Okay, I better shut up because I know that some people will hate me after this post. I apologize, but maybe one day you too will have this epiphany. :) *melissa* PS I forgot to write that I do know it IS hard to not spend a lot on LI, but there are always other options.

Wedding Budget Rant....here`s mine!

I agree as well. I live in NC now and planned my LI wedding from here. I spent much less than many of the brides I heard about on this board and it boggled my mind too. Spending thousands of dollars on flowers! HAH! Unbelievable. Even though my parents paid for most of the wedding I still looked for ways to cut costs -- without taking away from an elegant event. It's definitely about one upping each other on LI. I can give you one example. I got married after two of our good family friends daughters got married. And when I wanted to think about having a rehearsal dinner at home in the backyard -- like a BBQ -- my mother was appalled. 'We are not having a rehearsal dinner in the backyard' -- because that's not what the other girls had. My mom is not usually like that - but LI social pressures brought out that wedding monster in her. HEE HEE -- I think we can all relax a bit and realize that nice, elegant, meaningful wedding can be done for less than a small fortune.

Wedding Budget Rant....here`s mine!

It is amazing to me that us LIers feel we have to spend on our wedding what most people buy houses for (or at least a nice down payment!) Ah the pleasures of NY. I would love to move, but my fiance is such the LI boy.

;-)

Glad this sparked some interest-- we just passed our 6 month anniversary and looking back I would not do any of it differently-- I had the wedding I wanted and we paid for most of it ourselves-- I wouldnt have done it if we have to go into debt and now that we are buying a house it is ironic to see that we spent just about the same on our wedding as we are on our down payment-- but regardless of that I am happy we had the day I wanted and hope to never regret it !! Laura but i agree that paying as much as we do per head on LI is ridiculous!!!

Don't forget the cost of being a guest...

It wasn't until I started dating hubby that I heard of the 'cover the cost of the plate' rule for wedding gifts. Where I grew up, you gave based on your relationship with the bride and groom and what you could afford, and wanted to give. And it was always something from the registry or a gift you'd picked out. You could give a nice gift and not have to ante up a lot of cash. I sometimes think you get judged by how much you gave.

Don`t forget the cost of being a guest...

I agree with Karen H. I mean a gift is supposed to be a nice thought -- not a required price tag. That's crazy. My husband and I realized we spent over $3000 over the last year and 1/2 before our wedding -- attending 10 weddings. Most of which one of us was a wedding party member. We also had the cost of flying, hotel rooms, rental cars, and our wedding party attire. It gets so out of hand.

I know the feeling

We have had 8 weddings since our own (the 8th is tomorrow in fact) and that is only the past 6 months-- it def does add up -- what 5 of us did was not exchange 'checks' but that doesnt take into account BM dresses/showers/hotels, etc--I think I am afraid to total it up!!! I was just glad ours was first so at least it didnt feel like it was cutting into our wedding budget(completely psychological of course) laura

weddings on LI are too much...........

...for a young couple, I think we are spending way too much money on our wedding. I mean, yeah it happens once in your life (hopefully) but it just seems to me that it's crazy - I mean when everyone around you is throwing big weddings it makes you want to be able to have that also. We are paying for everything ourselves - not getting any help at all, I dont know how we're doing it but we are - we're getting married at East Wind and it's reasonably priced but when everything else is added in, including the honeymoon...I could have such a nice house.

weddings on LI are too much...........

I've been reading this thread thinking and wondering. True LI and Tri-State (any big city) wedding's are more expensive than most of the country, but I also know, my FH and I wouldn't be making nearly as much as we do if we weren't in NY. Everything is relative. And I have seen posts on other boards where weddings across the US are just as expensive as here. Our wedding may seem like a lot of money to somepeople, but it is only a fraction of our annual salary - and I refuse to feel guilty.

Melissa27

Hi. I didn't realize you were from Rochester!! I live in Buffalo. I have to say a lot of what you say is true. It is a difference that I have noticed being raised here and visiting there. email me sometime! [email protected] Nancy

chr2027

I am going to a wedding at East Wind today-- I have heard such great things about it-- we had considered going to see it for our wedding but it was too far out for us (my husband is from NJ) so we decided on staying closer to the nassau border since our church was in Suffolk-- Laura

Yabbobay...long

You are right that you can plan a wedding in a different part of the country for just as much as LI. But, in other areas, you have different choices. I think the original point was that there is social pressure on LI to have an elaborate affair. I disagree with what you say about feeling 'guilty.' I don't think any brides in this thread are feeling guilty about spending $$ for their weddings - after all is said and done, I think most brides are happy that they planned the day of their dreams, regardless of how much it cost. I know I did! I think we're just down right annoyed that LI vendors can charge so much money for their services, just b/c of location in LI/NY. True, there may be reduced costs of living in other parts of the country. My husband and I aren't living in NY, but we are making alot more money than if we lived in NY - however, that didn't make us feel any less like we were being raked over the coals everytime we said the word 'wedding' while we were planning. Good luck with the rest of your planning & negotiate your vendors contracts to get the best possible prices!!!

Laura

That's good to hear...let me know how the wedding goes. I would love to hear your honest opinion.

Wedding Budget Rant....here`s mine!

I couldn't agree with Melissa more! Sometimes I wish I had the courage to stand up to my FH's family and my family and say 'you know what? We're having a backyard bbq!' Well, that's not eaxclt what I want, but it would be nice to think that people will come to the wedding and not be gossiping about the hall, the band, the gown, the flowers, and instead can just concentrateon the real issue at hand - a MARRIAGE!! Ok, I'm done - thanks for listening!

you can have a low cost wedding on LI

I went to a wedding at the Swan Club that was really no different from all the other weddings I have been too..and it was for under $15000 for everything...dress..favors...flowers...dj...everything... FHs friends sister got married at Fox Hollow for about the same... If you look around, you can find great prices... Most of the lower cost weddings I read about from around the country it is in the church basement or a elks lodge...which there are plenty of those on LI...or if they are in a hall it is a buffet style... If brides are planning the wedding of their dreams...then they are not giving into social pressures...