Wedding Date Vent

Need to vent.

I am getting so much slack from my FMIL and FFIL over the date of our wedding, the day after Thanksgiving. FH and I have had the date picked out since July and it fits into our life and budget perfectly. I am a teacher and can't take time off during the year to get married and didn't wsnt a summer wedding, so this timing is perfect bc I can take just two days and extend the Thanksgiving break.

I have heard nothing but passive aggressive comments from my future in-laws about the date. They have family traveling and are very concerned about them coming in. My FFIL is obsessed with talking to me about his Thanksgiving plans for next year. I just keep saying that I am not going to be celebrating next year and that's ok to skip one year. Every time I see him he has to tell me about some deal he found from a deli/restaurant/caterer about catering Thanksgiving. FMIL keeps telling me about all the people who aren't going to come to my wedding bc they have to travel. Meanwhile, they would have to travel anyway, no matter what the date is. Our families were told the date back in July.

It's just so hard to keep going over to their house and hear all this passive aggressive slack over our date. We aren't changing it. It's what we want. I just don't know what to do anymore. FH spoke to his mom about it back in August bc it was really bad over the summer and it's gotten a lot less, but still happening. FH claims he doesn't hear it anymore bc a lot
Of the comments happens when he isn't in the room or he doesnt her the conversation.

I just don't know what to do anymore bc it is really upsetting me.

Sorry just needed to get that off my chest.

Wedding Date Vent

It is your day, period, the end! It is about you and your future husband at the end of that aisle. Everyone is just a witness, a background, blessed to be apart of your day. If they want to be there, they will. People always need a reason to complain. Just let it be, they will eventually stop once they know they won't win this. Keep smiling and enjoy YOUR day!

Re: Wedding Date Vent

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Posted by emilyandsteven722

It is your day, period, the end! It is about you and your future husband at the end of that aisle. Everyone is just a witness, a background, blessed to be apart of your day. If they want to be there, they will. People always need a reason to complain. Just let it be, they will eventually stop once they know they won't win this. Keep smiling and enjoy YOUR day!

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THIS. I find that people will complain about anything and everything. I know quite a few people who act like it's their sole purpose in life to whine about something. It is really frustrating though to keep hearing it, but I think just keeping calm about it will keep the situation from getting heated.

Re: Wedding Date Vent

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Posted by emilyandsteven722

It is your day, period, the end! It is about you and your future husband at the end of that aisle. Everyone is just a witness, a background, blessed to be apart of your day. If they want to be there, they will. People always need a reason to complain. Just let it be, they will eventually stop once they know they won't win this. Keep smiling and enjoy YOUR day!

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THIS!!!! I went to a day after thanksgiving wedding two years ago and we thought it was a GREAT IDEA- we would have picked that date for 2014 if it wasnt booked already for our location!

Wedding Date Vent

No one will ever be completely happy with whatever you do, someone always says SOMETHING. If it's not the date, it's the location, if it's not the location, it's something else. It's YOUR DAY. Do what works for you. Those who really want to be there, will be. Pretend you're a duck and let it roll off of your back.

Wedding Date Vent

Listen, No date will appease everyone. If I have to hear one more time that it will probably snow and that no one wants to come to NY in February I might throw something at them. Just remember it is about you and your FH. The people that matter and want to be there will be.

Wedding Date Vent

Hi date twin! We haven't received the same flack for the date from our families yet, but we're expecting it. Like you, I work in a school and we wanted a November wedding. We would have done the weekend before but FH cousin is getting married then. He is not that close to that side of the family so they probably would not have come no matter when we had it.

We just started drawing up our guest list and its way more than we anticipated. We figure the people we want to be there are mostly local and the ones who aren't may use the weekend as an excuse to get away, go the parade, etc.

I said the same thing - if they have to travel for your wedding in November, they have to travel in any other month of the year. Yes it might inconvenience their thanksgiving plans, especially if they travel to other family, but then they have to make that choice. You may have booked it on their fam members birthday, work event, etc that would have made it a challenge in May or August or February. I never understand this - FH and I have been to 10 weddings since we've been together and we have gone to every one because we like weddings. If its truly inconvenient, expensive or whatever just DONT COME! The bride and groom make the choice thats best for them and you make the choice thats best for you.

FH brother is getting married in July and we know some people may not travel twice in 4 months to attend both. At this point, I can't focus on that as we weren't going to delay the wedding 6 months to a year for everyone else.

Hang in there! :)

Wedding Date Vent

Hang in there sweetie and I'm glad you and FH are sticking with your original date. This is you and your FH day and I'm glad your FH mentioned something to the inlaws. Keep your cool and I know it's hard but try to ignore the comments. When we received an RSVP, they replied no because we were not allowing children at our wedding and it was not fair to other guest. And mind you this guest is 99 years young. Smh. You can please everyone but what matters is you and FH are happy. Big hug! Ssqquueezzzeeeeee :)

Wedding Date Vent

Hang in there! Your date is the one we had originally chosen but I ended up settling for the following weekend after FH had decided that it would be inconvenient for US to travel (we live out of state now) that weekend. It's yours and FH day, people will be there if they want to be there no matter what!

On another note, I'm also a Larkfield bride! Hope you don't mind but I am going to creep and check out your vendors!

Re: Wedding Date Vent

Of course I don't mind! I don't know if I have all my vendors up yet.

DJ: Tommy's Tunes
Florist: Burtons
Photography: Lighthouse
Limo: Camelot
Grooms Cake: Dortoni


Hope this helps! We haven't decided on a note but most likely doing one of them on Route 110 in Melville

Wedding Date Vent

@kimberly2015 @jdm5256 @DebOst @Soontobemrsg @Gberti @Brirose18 @Emilyandsteven722 @mrsknatz

I apologize for taking so long to reply. It's been one of 'Those' days at work. Thank you ladies for your support! It means so much to have people understand what you are going through. Going forward I am just going to let the comments roll of my back. You are all right- it is our day and if people want to celebrate with us then they will make an effort to come, no matter what the date is. I can't please everyone.

Thank you again! :) xoxo

Wedding Date Vent

Ugh! Hang in there

Wedding Date Vent

The people who want to be there will be there, no matter the day of the year.

Wedding Date Vent

Hi Date twin! don't worry the people who want to be there will be there! And with a wedding you have enough notice to plan your travel too! We chose this date specifically because so many people are off on the day after Thanksgiving and because the pricing was more advantageous than the Saturday.