Wedding ettiquette question

This is regarding invites. You invite Sally. Sally is married/engaged. She informs u verbally that spouse can not come. The RSVP comes back M_Sally & guest_ #persons attending 2

Is that proper ettiquette? a BM did that to me!

---

Posted by madseason

This is regarding invites. You invite Sally. Sally is married/engaged. She informs u verbally that spouse can not come. The RSVP comes back M_Sally & guest_ #persons attending 2

Is that proper ettiquette? a BM did that to me!

---

so instead of her significant other, she's bringing a stand in?

---

Posted by Ayne11

---

Posted by madseason

This is regarding invites. You invite Sally. Sally is married/engaged. She informs u verbally that spouse can not come. The RSVP comes back M_Sally & guest_ #persons attending 2

Is that proper ettiquette? a BM did that to me!

---

so instead of her significant other, she's bringing a stand in?

---

yes.

---

Posted by madseason

---

Posted by Ayne11

---

Posted by madseason

This is regarding invites. You invite Sally. Sally is married/engaged. She informs u verbally that spouse can not come. The RSVP comes back M_Sally & guest_ #persons attending 2

Is that proper ettiquette? a BM did that to me!

---

so instead of her significant other, she's bringing a stand in?

---

yes.

---

Uh yeah I think it's kind of rude, and selfish for her to assume that since you invited her with a guest it means just anyone. I think she should have asked you first if she could bring someone else b/c her fiance/hubby wasn't able to attend.

ok im impatient - I just called lol and did what u said - she wants to bring either her mom or bro.

I just thought that if it says to Mr and Mrs. or Sally and Steve - then thats who comes. Ive gone without FH and bought no one.

---

Posted by cds58019

So maybe you should call her and play dumb. Say 'Oh I thought you told me John couldn't make it, but I see you write 2. Did things change with him?' And then see what her response is.

---

I agree with this post. See if you can find out who it is. Maybe it's her mom or someone you know.

---

Posted by madseason

ok im impatient - I just called lol and did what u said - she wants to bring either her mom or bro.

I just thought that if it says to Mr and Mrs. or Sally and Steve - then thats who comes. Ive gone without FH and bought no one.

---

well I 'm assuming you know both of them. At least if she brings the mom or bro they can appreciate your wedding, and it wont be this stranger walking around aimlessly because s/he doesn't know anyone.

hehe thanks! Yea i called and i kinda hope she brings her mom

I just wasnt sure what proper ettiqute was in this situation

---

Posted by cds58019

So maybe you should call her and play dumb. Say 'Oh I thought you told me John couldn't make it, but I see you write 2. Did things change with him?' And then see what her response is.

---

I agree. Was his name on the invite? If so then it is beyond tacky/rude to include for 2. I would do the above and play dumb. A friend of mine had a BM do this to her also. When she spoke to her BM about it..she was planning on bringing her sister. My friend told her sorry but no. The invite was for you and your husband not you and your sister. She also said to her that there were people invited without dates b/c of limits in the room size and so she felt that it wasn't really fair. Good luck handling the situation.

ETA: Just saw your other post. If its someone you know and wouldn't mind being there then that would be great! Easy solution!

---

Posted by cds58019

Is she not going to know anyone else if her mom or bro isnt there with her? That would be the only reason I could see that she would want to bring someone else.

---

Thats why im asking - bc yes - she knows ALOT of people there...

I really dislike when people do that - to me the person invite you and your hubby. Unless your old and need someone to assist you so therefore really need a guest with you then NO subs.

We had mrs blah and her son blah invited and he called to ask if he can invite his g/f as well. At first we were livid but then they said they were making it into a NYC trip so all of them were going to come in order to tour and he felt bad leaving his g/f in a hotel while he went to our wedding. SO we allowed it and honestly it was fine she actually was a really cool person.

I guess I am the only one that thinks if you invite a person with guest that you intend on paying for 2. I can see your point where the invite was for 2 specific people but what if that person just didnt want to come alone? You expected 2 to begin with what difference if its not one of whom you expected? Just playing devils advocate.

Now if you are over your limit then I say Hell no she comes alone.

---

Posted by missK

I guess I am the only one that thinks if you invite a person with guest that you intend on paying for 2. I can see your point where the invite was for 2 specific people but what if that person just didnt want to come alone? You expected 2 to begin with what difference if its not one of whom you expected? Just playing devils advocate.

Now if you are over your limit then I say Hell no she comes alone.

---

i see it this way too but also understand the org. posters point as well! in the end it is not a big deal but it probably does go against ettiquette : )

Wow that is rude. I would be really mad. In our situation 3rd cousin of fh asked to bring a date...rude. Her mom asked actually!

Anyway I think the point is to bring significant other not a mom or a brother or a friend! Once word gets out everyone will think its ok and bring a friend or mom.

Hope this does not happen to me! I have a lot of single friends and they better make the right decision. Oh and I know some people who rsvp with a guest with hopes they will have a bf by that time!

is it that big of a deal if she wants to bring a stand in?

I think that if an invitation is addressed to 2 particular people the offer does not automatically become extended to another person if one of the invited cannot attend.

---

Posted by missK

I guess I am the only one that thinks if you invite a person with guest that you intend on paying for 2. I can see your point where the invite was for 2 specific people but what if that person just didnt want to come alone? You expected 2 to begin with what difference if its not one of whom you expected? Just playing devils advocate.

Now if you are over your limit then I say Hell no she comes alone.

---

I don't think it has to do with paying for 2 people, it's about 2 specific people being invited, one cannot attend so one of the invited takes it upon him/herself to invite a stand in. That is the rude part.