Wedding ettiquette question

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Posted by missK

I guess I am the only one that thinks if you invite a person with guest that you intend on paying for 2. I can see your point where the invite was for 2 specific people but what if that person just didnt want to come alone? You expected 2 to begin with what difference if its not one of whom you expected? Just playing devils advocate.

Now if you are over your limit then I say Hell no she comes alone.

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I agree. What's the difference?

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Posted by missK

I guess I am the only one that thinks if you invite a person with guest that you intend on paying for 2. I can see your point where the invite was for 2 specific people but what if that person just didnt want to come alone? You expected 2 to begin with what difference if its not one of whom you expected? Just playing devils advocate.

Now if you are over your limit then I say Hell no she comes alone.

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Playing devils advocate here with respect to the 'you planned on inviting 2, so why does it matter who it is?' thing...

what if she invited a friend (A) who was unable to come, and A RSVP'd that his neighbor (B) will be coming in his place because B loves going to weddings. yes, it's still one person, but it's not the person the B&G planned to invite. Also, a lot of people count on getting some NO rsvps, so they dont want to replace every 'no' with another guest.

Edit: this is assuming you invited them both by name. If you invited friend + guest, then there really arent any expectations as to who the guest is

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Posted by cds58019

So maybe you should call her and play dumb. Say 'Oh I thought you told me John couldn't make it, but I see you write 2. Did things change with him?' And then see what her response is.

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That's a pretty good idea!

IMO I want everyone to be comfortable at my wedding. So if my FH couldn't come with me to a wedding that we were invited to, I'd probably bring a replacement.
Obviously everyone plans on a certain number of 'no's' but in the end it will all work out...if you plan on having two and one is substituted for another person it's still two!
It's not the ideal situation when someone comes that you don't know or didn't invite, but such is life. I don't find this tacky or rude...just a small hiccup in the grand scheme of things.

IMO its rude for the friend to assume that she can bring someone as a stand in for her husband if he can't make it. the invitation specifically only invites her and her husband. If the bride had considered inviting the mother or the brother, they would have gotten their own invitation.

I agree with hyphenbride. people should regard it as an airline ticket or a guestlist only type of thing. you can't just go taking on someone else's name if that person isn't you and you're not invited.

i'm not sure if there is technically etiquette here. that would bother me, because I don't want randoms at my wedding and people should be okay with coming alone if their signif other can't come.

but I think no one really thinks that way; they are invited with a guest either way so sometimes people will dig up someone to bring! I don't get it either, I never did that, but people definitely do.

I agree though... it's not so bad if they bring their mom or someone you know who'll be excited... i don't really want total strangers at my wedding personally.

I was invited to my co-workers wedding back in 2006 and at the time I wasn't engaged to FH, he was just my long-term boyfriend. The invite was addressed to me and guest. I wasn't sure what to do b/c FH had started a new job and I didn't think he'd be able to take off for her wedding, and I was going to have to RSVP before he would know. I asked the bride what she wanted me to do: either RSVP for just 1 and then bring FH at the last min or RSVP for 2 and then bring a friend or someone if he couldnt make it. She told me she'd rather me RSVP for 2 and then just bring a friend so that is what I did.

IMO 'Sally' should've at least asked you first!!