FH and I are going to a wedding in October at Willow Creek in Mount Sinai. FH has known the groom for a number of years and I have known him since 11th grade. FH is a groomsman in the wedding party. My question is - how much should we give as the gift? We're planning our own wedding and money is already tight, so my mom suggested $150, especially since FH is already paying to be in the wedding. Are there any guidelines for this type of thing? I always thought you're supposed to pay whatever your plate cost, but how would we know?
ttdiff11
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Re: Wedding guest etiquitte
hm im not sure either but i was a bridesmaid in april and i have known the bride my whole life. we gave 300
WishfulRinne
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I think 150-250 is a good price. My cousins wedding was in June. I gave 250 because she is family. HTH
DrWho
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Since your FH is in the party and is presumably already shelling out for tux, bach party, etc., I'd say $150 max.
Almostawife
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I usually don't take in to account how much I spent to be in the bridal party. A gift is a gift and this is probably one of your closets frieneds I would give no less than $300. My FH was just the best man and we gave $500 sine it was his best friend.
also, I know money is tight but you will probably get back exactly what you give since your wedding is coming up soon as well. It will be a wash.
lyss0908
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Re: Wedding guest etiquitte
Posted by StacyJill2009
I usually don't take in to account how much I spent to be in the bridal party. A gift is a gift and this is probably one of your closets frieneds I would give no less than $300. My FH was just the best man and we gave $500 sine it was his best friend.
also, I know money is tight but you will probably get back exactly what you give since your wedding is coming up soon as well. It will be a wash.
I agree. well said
Valerie-Joe
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Re: Wedding guest etiquitte
This question comes up a lot here and everyone has lots of opinions. I always say, 'give what you can afford.' I've given less than I wanted at times because I just couldn't afford it. I always make up for it. Believe me, there will be housewarmings, anniversary parties, christenings, baby showers, blah blah blah - you'll have the chance. If they are your friend, they will understand.
marriedinmontauk
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Re: Wedding guest etiquitte
Maybe this is where you do a non cash gift. Is there something special that matches their hobbies or interests? Could someone maybe do a vase with their wedding date painted on it? Is there an antique they like that you could hunt down. It really is the thought that counts. Very few people 'covered their plates' at my wedding. Don't get me wrong, more money would have been fabulous, but it's not expected.
ttw910
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Re: Wedding guest etiquitte
Posted by StacyJill2009
I usually don't take in to account how much I spent to be in the bridal party. A gift is a gift and this is probably one of your closets frieneds I would give no less than $300. My FH was just the best man and we gave $500 sine it was his best friend.
also, I know money is tight but you will probably get back exactly what you give since your wedding is coming up soon as well. It will be a wash.
I totally agree!
Kricket212
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I would give $300- I am sure you will get it back when it's your wedding.....consider it a loan.
robinandjoe
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Having had a wedding myself, i think it is totally fine to give what you can afford///everyone will be able to give a different amount, so try not to stress about it. They are happy to have you as part of the wedding, not for your ift :)
PegaLega
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Re: Wedding guest etiquitte
Give what you can afford definitely without a doubt.
But I would not take the price of the tux, bach party etc. into consideration when deciding.
We gave DHs best friend $500 when he was in the party. Our normal/average give is usually $300 for other weddings when we are just invited.
BCM2009
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With both of you attending i would give more in the $300 range
Hawks Nest
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I was just in a wedding this weekend upstate new york and I gave $350..
I usually don't take in to account how much I spent to be in the bridal party. A gift is a gift and this is probably one of your closets frieneds I would give no less than $300. My FH was just the best man and we gave $500 sine it was his best friend.
also, I know money is tight but you will probably get back exactly what you give since your wedding is coming up soon as well. It will be a wash.
I agree. well said
I also agree.
DiamondPipa
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Posted by lyss0908
Posted by StacyJill2009
I usually don't take in to account how much I spent to be in the bridal party. A gift is a gift and this is probably one of your closets frieneds I would give no less than $300. My FH was just the best man and we gave $500 sine it was his best friend.
also, I know money is tight but you will probably get back exactly what you give since your wedding is coming up soon as well. It will be a wash.
I agree. well said
i agree with this too
betani
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Re: Wedding guest etiquitte
Posted by Valerie-Joe
This question comes up a lot here and everyone has lots of opinions. I always say, 'give what you can afford.' I've given less than I wanted at times because I just couldn't afford it. I always make up for it. Believe me, there will be housewarmings, anniversary parties, christenings, baby showers, blah blah blah - you'll have the chance. If they are your friend, they will understand.
i totally agree. i'm sure your friend will understand money being tight as he just planned a wedding himself and $150 is a nice gift. wedding gifts seem to be ridiculous nowadays anyway and i know i for one would never expect any guest to spend more than they could on a wedding gift for me - i was just happy everyone could be there to celebrate our special day with us. isn't that what it's about in the end?
Mich2010
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Give what you are comfortable and are able to give. $150 is just fine.
jennarose023
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i was the MOH at my friends wedding last year...we've been friends since 1st grade, eventhough i spent over $1k on the wedding, we gave $250...but that was what we were comfortable with. She is my MOH and isn't going to be giving me a gift because she is closing on her house the week before the wedding...which is fine with me...you have to do what you can, and what you feel comfortable with. $150 should be a very nice gift!!!
Wifeynella
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Re: Wedding guest etiquitte
Posted by StacyJill2009
I usually don't take in to account how much I spent to be in the bridal party. A gift is a gift and this is probably one of your closets frieneds I would give no less than $300. My FH was just the best man and we gave $500 sine it was his best friend.
also, I know money is tight but you will probably get back exactly what you give since your wedding is coming up soon as well. It will be a wash.
I second this. We always give at least $300. If its a VERY close friend we give $400, if we are in the wedding party or its family e give $500
