I want to start off by saying....I don't know you, but in the minute it took me to read through your post, it is clear that you are a classy, bright and intelligent girl with such a successful future in front of you. As hard as this is, you will overcome this! This guy was not the person you thought he was, or he has changed for the worse. If you stayed together and worked past this, you would never be able to trust him again. You deserve to have a relationship built on trust! I know it is difficult now....but one day you will look back and realize you deserved more than this and this was for the best. I am truly sorry you have to go through this!
DiamondPipa
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so sorry you are going through this
Mizzdimple
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Listen...you are better off that you found this out now..and not 10 years from now when your married with kids...
it is a blessing in disguise but its not easy to deal with..one day you will look back on it and say thank god that happened to me but for now...try to keep your mind off of it...
Sorry this happened.
diva7531
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I am so sorry
there are no words, but time does heal
missK
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Im so sorry
bebedoll57
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You are a beautiful girl !! I can tell that you can hold your ground and I believe that you will get through this !! You are better off finding a true mature man who will appreciate you and you will not have to wonder what he was doing behind your back. I wish you luck.
frenchy702
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Re: Wedding is off.
Omg! I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be really hard to go through what you are going through, but everything happens for a reason. It's better that you found out now rather than a few years down the line. You seem like a very sweet, loving, strong woman and I wish the best for you.
JennNicole
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There are really no Words for this. You are beautiful girl I wish you luck with your future endevors. Some other guy will be Lucky
BoxOfRocks
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So sorry you're going thought this. Posters on The Nest recommend Surviving Infidelity as a good resource for other posters going through similar situations. Best of luck.
Nechama1
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Posted by nifheim
sorry about the calling it off but in some ways both of you realized things were not working and you realized this now. I am sorry again but there is someone out there that will love and respect you more then anything and whatever happens best of luck.
See, that's the thing. I didn't have a choice in the matter. He's not even open to discussion. Not even about getting married, or getting back together...He won't give me a farewell conversation in which we can work out e/t that must be worked out.
Our relationship was working. He had a crisis, and didn't deal with it. I am robbed of the opportunity to be his rock, his supporter, b/c he has completely shut me out. I want more than anything to help him get through this, it pains me that he is hurting.
Thank you all for your prayers...At this point, I have turned to prayer quite a bit. I have a 10 page 'Dear God' letter in a Word folder! It keeps growing...
xXxNovember08xXx
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im sorry
wundmoretime
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Good luck, You are definetely strong and intelligent enough to get through this. Focus on you, not him. He is too self centered to care about your feelings and be man enough to own up to his mistakes. He is definetely not ready for marriage. Divorce is much more expensive, time consuming and difficult. I went down that rode. Don't let your self-esteem be ripped from you. You sound like you are such a kind, caring person and I know these are only words. It is easier to leave now and you will be thankful in hindsight that you were able to go now. I married a man a should not have but was too embarrassed to not. I stayed for 13 abusive years. We have 2 beautiful kids and it made the split even harder knowing I had to do it to them. Had you moved forward, it would not have been so easy to leave. Had you had children with him, you would have always been connected to him. I couldn't see how bad I had it. I was shocked I allowed myself to live the way I did for so long. I lost all my self esteem. It is amazing that you can forgive him for his infidelities even at this point but know you deserve better. As the saying goes, a cheater is always a cheater. He will do it again. Try to move on, it will take time, but he is not the person for you. You are young and have no reason to rush. I wished I never married at 22. FM if you need to talk. Good luck. It will get easier with time.
markdea7699
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Re: Wedding is off.
sorry to hear that.. but you're better off.. for him to even do that to you.. he's not worth it i know its hard to look back at 3 years worth of memories, but if it were worth it for him he would have never done that to you.. keep your head up hun
Sharron70
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Re: Wedding is off.
It hurts like hell now, but once the pain is gone and you've moved on, you'll be able to look back and realize you're in a much better place and much better off without him. It may be a long road getting there but once you do, you WILL be happy.
Sharron70
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Re: Wedding is off.
Posted by Nechama1
Posted by nifheim
sorry about the calling it off but in some ways both of you realized things were not working and you realized this now. I am sorry again but there is someone out there that will love and respect you more then anything and whatever happens best of luck.
See, that's the thing. I didn't have a choice in the matter. He's not even open to discussion. Not even about getting married, or getting back together...He won't give me a farewell conversation in which we can work out e/t that must be worked out.
Our relationship was working. He had a crisis, and didn't deal with it. I am robbed of the opportunity to be his rock, his supporter, b/c he has completely shut me out. I want more than anything to help him get through this, it pains me that he is hurting.
Thank you all for your prayers...At this point, I have turned to prayer quite a bit. I have a 10 page 'Dear God' letter in a Word folder! It keeps growing...
It could very well be that he wasn't ready for the commitment and this was his way of 'acting out'. Which could be why he won't discuss any of it with you. Perhaps it would have come to this even without the cheating.
nycgirl79
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I am so so sorry... I know this has been said, but you are definitely better off without him. You are obviously an intelligent, driven girl with a good head on your shoulders - and you're gorgeous, so there is no doubt in my mind that you'll find someone worthy of being with you.
Good luck with everything.
bonitachyc
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Re: Wedding is off.
i am sooo sorry! my heart is breaking for you just by reading your entire post...please know God wanted this to happen for a reason! i know it's hard but the only piece of advice i have to give you: get by today. i know each day seems like an eternity and you miss the days you used to spend together, but honestly, don't think that way - think of how miserable your life has been recently and just try to make it through the end of today...don't think of tomorrow, or the next week, or the future at all. you have to concentrate on today, and today you're beautiful and you have a second chance at a new life...please FM me if you need to talk to someone!
AllJoy
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I'm so sorry this happened to you. As another poster said, you are way too good and much more mature than him. You will find someone who is worthy of you. Be strong and Good Luck.
