Wedding Is Off

Sorry to hear this but trust me, its for the best that your life is now changing direction. I was engaged in college and discovered he was cheating on me for months behind my back.

Once I found out, I broke off the engagement and there were weeks that passed where he would apologize and swear he could change, etc - at 1 point I was really weak and almost forgave him but my mom knocked sense into me and told me to break off the engagement ASAP and cut all contact with him. As it turned out, 2 years after college graduation - he married her so my hunches were right along.

Sick as it sounds, I was grateful for things turning up the way it did because we were not compatible at all on a deeper level. We met each other at the age of 21 and had completely different ideas of what our futures should be. I was hung up on law school and being a great attorney, and he was completely un-motivated and hated school. He barely finished college and is working at some social media company now.

Right now, just take things slow and step back from all this wedding/engagement drama. Make sure you DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK. If memory serves me correctly, you are in law school now or looking for an entry level attorney job. Focus on your career now, and putting your best foot forward in other areas of your life.
Romance will always be there - trust me. You will meet the REAL Mr. Right when you aren't even looking. That's how it happened to me, and you will look back on this time of your life and feel grateful you didn't end up marrying a cheater!!!

I wish I had something to say that could make everything better, but the truth is right now it is going to be very hard and hurt everyday, but what you have to do is get out of the house and do things for YOU! whatever you need to do for you and keep very busy join a kick boxing class(it will make you feel better)... Have a good cry.. take a few days to be sad, but then start a YOU plan... Right now everything is about YOU... go out and have fun... It will take time, but take a day at a time...
It seems awful now, but one day you will look back and see why this happened.

So sorry....

---

Posted by justnicethings

Why are we seemingly OK with a woman hitting a man? If it were the other way around, we would be outraged.

---

We're not saying it's ok - not at all ... but it wasn't her fault that he cheated on her! If he wanted to end it, he should have just done it that day by telling her ... not by cheating on her!

I hated hearing this when my wedding was called off the month before the date but its a blessing in disguise. You wont see it now but you will down the road. I am sorry it happened unfortunately it happens to the best of us. Wish you better luck in the future you never realize how strong you are until you have no other choice

*** there is no shame on crawling back to your mother thats what family is for I had to sleep on the couch but I built myself up got myself a new apt with everything brand new and after that I felt like I could anything . Its an amazing feeling you cant stay there waiting for him. If its a couple of months on the couch so what in the end it will be worth it. I didnt think I would make it and I wasnt able to cry I went the gym went window shopping on what I would put in my new home and everthing came together. I met a wonderful man (remember no rush) and am so happy because looking back we would probably be getting a divorce right now because the way he was and his mother called it off not him. JUST STAY STRONG REBUILD AND YOU WILL SEE IT WAS FOR A REASON

I do feel very bad for what is going on in this situation and your ex and no one for that matter should have any reason to cheat on anyone. But how come no woman on here is finding a HUGE issue that this is the 2nd time you hit him???? Umm I wouldn't cheat on you but I sure in hell would leave you. IMO you have a lot to work on just as much as he does. You ladies can fight this all you want but for you to slap you FH no matter how mad he gets you is the same thing as him saying well you got me mad so I cheated..it sounds stupid and childish and for both your sakes neither one of you are ready for marriage.

i'm so sorry you are going through this.
i know how hard this is (i was engaged once before and 11 days before the wedding, the whole thing was canceled)

everything happens for a reason, and i know that sounds terribly cliche right now, but its true. you were obviously not meant to spend the rest of your life with your ex fiance. granted, hitting anyone is not ok, and i would suggest seeking some type of therapy for your needs so that you do not act out that way again in any future.

the fact that he chose to act childishly and cheat on you shows you that he is not someone you would want to share a future with either.

please, stay strong, and know that I will keep you in my prayers.

---

Posted by ktcafaro

---

Posted by anjelagain

He would have cheated on you anyway! Men have a funny way of blaming things on women, PLUS the fact that hes getting under your skin like that that you have to slap him means that hes NOT the one... i have slapped my fiance... like a few times for similar reasons and its no reason to cheat, he sounds like a loser... be glad u found out before the save the dates went out!!!!!

---

everybody keeps saying that, he would have cheated anyway. And the fact that he ADMITTED he began talking to her the DAY after I smacked him. Really? That soon. That bugs me. She is some hoodrat he has known for 10yrs because she has LITERALLY been hanging out on the SAME stoop in brooklyn for THAT long.

he says 'ive known her for 10yrs, if i wanted that, i coulda had it a LONG time ago.'

IT IS INSULTING! and they went to a MOTEL on cross bay blvd! 5hour motel. GROSS!

and shamefully, two days later, we slept together. and we have BEEN sleeping together until this Sunday when I said ENOUGH!

im a loser too....

---

for the sake of your mental health and your recovery, please stop sleeping with him and avoid all contact because this will not make the situation better. And please get yourself tested for std's and other diseases asap!

---

Posted by ktcafaro

talk about being the 'single' one out.

---

please stop being so hard on yourself! it really does get better but you have to give yourself some time to heal!

---

Posted by ktcafaro

He wants me to go stay at my moms. but i cant. i cannot crawl back. I need to pick myself up and get a new place to live. I am not crawling to my moms couch!

---

please get the strength to get up off the couch, stop waiting for him and get on craigslist and find a new place to stay! its not healthy to stay there waiting for him and being stuck in limbo until your out to move on with your life!

---

Posted by jilliibabii

I'm sorry you're going through this but maybe it's for the best. Both of you seem to have some personal issues to work out- whether together or separately. Good luck!

---

ita

im sorry

im sooooo sorry to hear this! its upsetting yes but i just want to say that do not forget to respect yourself so dont blame yourself! theres NEVER an exscuse for cheating!

I am so sorry This is terrible situation. But like everyone has said, it is all for the best and you will be better and stringer for it. I hope that don't blame yourself.

Im very sorry to read of this. However, i think that you both may be better off. This relationship is destructive & very dangerous. You definitely need to work on yourself before being in a relationship for teh rest of your life. You also dont deserve a person that is obviously so angry, upset & a straight up ******. I dont know any man that would leave a girl alone at 5am. But he is angry with you. And in my opnion i dont think he wants or is ready to be married. In fact neither of you are. Please work on yourself & then move on into a healthy loving committed relationship.

Good Luck to you